Meant to be having first meet/date this 4pm - he has not responded to my cheery ‘still on for later?’ text

[Achillislandsands]

Arranged to meet today for socially distanced coffee/ walk at 4pm. He has not responded to text I sent text an hour ago
Should I still turn up? Would you? Am I panicking? Place is not too far away

No don’t turn up till he responds

What did your text say?

Ring him

Oh sorry, just reread the title. Its possible he meant to reply but got distracted. I'd send an unrelated message to prompt him.

No. And if he hasn't responded by now I wouldn't be going tbh because he is taking away the respect of giving you time to get ready.

Call him and if he isn't answering or doesn't text back straight away, assume the date is off. Even if he then messages at the last minute.

He could be busy?

I wouldn't

For a first date! Nah . Dont bother turning up. If he contacts you refer back to the text you sent.
He might have a really good excuse and you can go from your gut feeling on that. But I bet he couldnt be bothered if its cold/raining where you are.

Why did you send the text in first place? If you’ve agreed where/when to meet then you just show up. You should only text if you have to cancel. Sending a “still on?” text is fishing for a cancel and implies you don’t really want to meet up anymore.

When did you make plans? If I arranged it within the last few days I wouldn't expect to look at my phone again until I was on the way there. If it was a week ago, I maybe would rather have confirmation. If you hadn't said you were going to check in/confirm I think not showing up would be a bit off.

@Umberellatheweatha

No. And if he hasn't responded by now I wouldn't be going tbh because he is taking away the respect of giving you time to get ready.

Call him and if he isn't answering or doesn't text back straight away, assume the date is off. Even if he then messages at the last minute.

But...they already have plans?! How is he not giving her the respect of time to get ready if they arranged this days ago? Why the assumption everyone spends the hours before a daytime date glued to their phone when most people would be working, and possibly working to finish something so they can leave in time to meet the OP?

I sent
Hello, it’s Achillislandsands. Still on for later?

Id go. But next time don't over confirm. I'd feel guilty for not turning up.

When did you last speak about the date?

@Achillislandsands I might be irritated or bemused if I received that text tbh. Depends on when you made the arrangements... if you agreed 2 weeks ago and haven’t been in touch since it’s ok. But if you made the arrangements in the last few days, I might think you were looking to cancel.
If you like him, turn up.

We arranged it yesterday as we both were free at that time. We swooped numbers so I just texted - don’t sure why tbh

Would it be really out of your way to go? If it wasn't far for me and if I knew I was happy to go for a walk/grab a coffee by myself if they didn't turn up, I would still go along, but would make bare minimum effort for getting ready. I would also be fully expecting for them not to turn up!

It's because people are so flaky on OLD that you often feel the need to double check if they still intend to meet!

I wouldn't turn up unless he confirms.

I always check-in a bit before on the day? You're not asking him "to chat".

Even if he is just not a big texter, you don't want to date someone who won't reply to a simple factual message as they'll be flaky down the line and not have consideration for your time.

I rarely check my phone at work. I’d go

If you arranged it only yesterday (decided time/place), I wouldn't be expecting to be sent a "still on for later?" message today and I agree with others that it actually now sounds like you want to pull out.

I reckon he's just not checked his phone as he's busy. Give him the benefit of the doubt and show up at 4.

@Achillislandsands

We arranged it yesterday as we both were free at that time. We swooped numbers so I just texted - don’t sure why tbh

Yesterday?! There was definitely no need to reconfirm then. I suggest you text again saying ‘see you at 4’ in case he thinks your previous message was a cancellation and then just go to meet him. Hope you have a good time.

Get ready and still go - he may be somewhere with no signal - I would hope if he has got cold feet he would text you with some sort of excuse rather than wasting your time - if he does not show then don't contact him again

Maybe he’s busy! 6 hours can go by before I respond to a text.

It’s a bit much

As it's close by, I'd go as you don't have much to lose.

When I met my now bf for the first time, he didnt confirm on the morning we were due to meet and as it was a considerable drive I would have expected him to send me an ETA. So I spent the whole time that I was driving there worried that I was wasting my time but chances it as we had been speaking a lot over a few weeks.

Anyway, he did turn up and he is amazing