Meant to be having first meet/date this 4pm - he has not responded to my cheery ‘still on for later?’ text

[Achillislandsands]

Arranged to meet today for socially distanced coffee/ walk at 4pm. He has not responded to text I sent text an hour ago
Should I still turn up? Would you? Am I panicking? Place is not too far away

I had this happen a lot with online dating. You chat away for days, sometimes weeks, arrange a date and they suddenly disappear. People are flaky. I can see why you sent the message. He may be busy at work so I wouldn’t give up yet, but be prepared that you won’t hear from him again. I wouldn’t go at all unless he replies as he’s bound to check his phone at some point prior to the time you’ve set.

With OLD I would usually check on the day, or the man does. I think its because there are so many flakes online (not necessarily horrible people, they're simply not invested or don't see you as someone owed full manners as they've never met you in person). If you only arranged yesterday and it's not too far away, I would assume it's still on and get ready unless told otherwise. He may not have his phone on him at work.

Ffs you texted him an hour ago. Not everyone is glued to their phone all day

If you only organised it yesterday I wouldn't have bothered sending another text today. I would have just turned up. He is probably busy at work. I have just finished an manic shift of 7 hours and didn't once have time to check my phone at all.

If he is working then it is possible he is unable to check his phone. I would just go.

Can you see whether he's read your message?

You made an arrangement. Just go! Text a bit needy? Networks are sometimes delayed/patchy - texts between me & DH or DD are often delayed.

He could well be working, or in other company. I wouldn't stand him up based on a few hours since a text.

He just texted- so it’s still on.
Yes agree with those who feel I may want to pull out but I don’t.
I suppose we over rely on text those days and we only arranged last night. Wish me luck

Are you able to see whether your message was received and/or read?

If it’s not too far away you could just go with a good book and enjoy a quiet coffee if he doesn’t appear.

Good luck!

Have fun!

If someone texted me to confirm an arrangement I had only made the day before I would be having second thoughts tbh.

But then I don't answer my phone in work time, and have very little patience with people who expect instant answers.

Let us know how you get on @Achillislandsands
And good luck!

@PlanDeRaccordement

Why did you send the text in first place? If you’ve agreed where/when to meet then you just show up. You should only text if you have to cancel. Sending a “still on?” text is fishing for a cancel and implies you don’t really want to meet up anymore.

Exactly. That's precisely what I think if I ever see people send 'still on for later' messages.

I'd only send such a text if the meeting had been arranged a long while ago (e.g. arranged 2 weeks prior, and it's not a big event like a birthday party) so I don't waste my time if the other person has forgetten about it.

@PurpleWh1teGreen

If someone texted me to confirm an arrangement I had only made the day before I would be having second thoughts tbh.

But then I don't answer my phone in work time, and have very little patience with people who expect instant answers.

Me too. To me, it would be sign they have cold feet and secretly want me to cancel/let them off the hook.

Enjoy! Let us know how it went (already invested 😁)

Good luck @Achillislandsands

stop being so needy; he's probably working or busy. Turn up.

I don't have my phone on during the work day. ....

So weird how 'worst-case' scenario seems to be the go-to when someone fails to message back right away. I think when its a first date/meetup you're always doubly nervous so i guess checking in to be sure is something i would probably do too. Hope it goes well. I would love a job which meant i HAD to turn my phone off. Back when phones were only attached to the wall we were a lot more 'freer' and plans made over the phone mostly stayed as arranged. I sound old but i'm not that old

Good luck OP!

Glad it's still on.

If I'd arranged something yesterday and the other person asked today if it was still on, that would scream needy to me, and I'd proceed with caution.

Yay - hope you're having a good time :)

How are you getting on?