Would you forgive this?

[fucksat50]

DS was at home while I was working yesterday. DH was also at home but not working although he had a bad stomach so not feeling his best.

I asked DH to distract DS in the morning as I had an online meeting, which he did. He took him out in the garden to mow the lawn.

My meeting finished early but then the boss rang me, by which time DS was being irritable and wanting to come back in. I tried to signal to DH just 2 minutes.

He opened the door and said I was not prioritising DS and he actually shut my laptop shut when I was in the middle of a chat with my boss and screamed at me that DS needed his nappy changing. What then follows was a torrent of abuse, even though we had agreed the garden option the evening before.

How would you react to this?

If your child came to you and told you that their partner did this to them, what would be your advice?

You’re in an abusive relationship

He sounds absolutely awful OP

Appalling way to treat you all 'round. I would have a LOT of trouble getting over/forgiving behaviour - well, abuse really - this serious.

He's an abuser.

He sounds very abusive.

Never forgive anyone who continues to repeat the unacceptable behaviour. They are not sorry so why would you forgive them?

If that incident occurred with one of my reports, when I was in a meeting with them, I'd be very concerned about the situation at home. Has your boss been in contact about how you are and if you need any support?

You're being abused OP. Sorry

I would NEVER forgive that. Never.

That's awful behaviour on his part. Verbal abuse and calling you name and swearing at you is not on! I don't care how poorly he was feeling.

So what happens if you got the sack for hanging up in your boss? I bet he's moan like hell then too.

Urghh horrid man

@edwinbear

If that incident occurred with one of my reports, when I was in a meeting with them, I'd be very concerned about the situation at home. Has your boss been in contact about how you are and if you need any support?

The boss was unaware because at the point they came in I had muted my mic and turned off the camera.

Absolutely crossing a line, jeopardising your job, speaking to you in a demeaning manner and being so selfish he couldn't bother to change his own child whilst his other parent was temporarily busy. No excuse for this type of behaviour he sounds extremely inconsiderate.

Do you really have to ask?
On top of it calling you that .

He’d have shot his bolt with me.

Why are you with him?

No.

There’s no other answer, surely.

Im sure you have lots of other examples OP and some you have never shared with others. What else does he have to do before you end this relationship? My bet its getting worse over time. And I guess you are trying to focus on all the reasons to stay but, all that good stuff is going further and further into the distant past as the his abusive behaviour increases in severity and frequency. He's wearing you down, leave before he takes your last bits of strength and self esteem and can build a new life. Some people leave it too late and it ruins them as they become a shell of who they were. I understand what you’re going through. Take care. Grey rock him, get your ducks in a row and get him out of your life x

I would not forgive that, especially if it's not a one-off.

You don't deserve this OP, and neither does your child.

No, that's not OK.

Fair enough for him to be a bit grumpy/resentful if he is feeling ill, but to actually interrupt an ongoing meeting to shout at you is completely unacceptable. As others have said, what should have happened is he change the nappy, then once you're off the phone you could swap over the child so he could take a rest (if he really needed it). This is terrible behaviour.

I would be so furious if DH did this to me. (He never would.)

That is horrible. I couldn't get past that kind of behaviour - especially as you have said similar has happened before. This is really bad OP.

he is always shouting at me like I'm a child but the laptop incident really crossed a line with me.

Leave.

He would be gone.

Protect your child by leaving.

Is this a one off? Was he getting angry because he was feeling unwell and got extremely irritated? Is this his normal behaviour? Slamming your laptop shut was definitely out of order... I hope he apologised for that. If he did it purely because he’d had enough and ‘done his bit’ and didn’t want to change the nappy then he’s seriously in the wrong here.

Sounds like your in an abusive relationship. He’s teaching your son Thai is how we treat women. I think you already know that you’re better off out of there. Don’t wait for validation - start moving and Save yourself from a life of misery.

He is abusive - if you aren’t able to think about yourself then please think about the impact on your child and the messages he’s teaching her.
Is this your first child. Domestic violence occurs in pregnancy or after birth. They think you are more trapped.
Does the bully talk to anyone else like this - I’m sure the answer is no.
Please call women’s aid or look them up for signs of abuse.
You can do a Domestic violence awareness course on line The Freedom Course.
You can also download a pdf book by Lundy Bancroft- why does he do that -
The reality is he chooses to behave how he does.
If you jointly own the property when he next gets threatening you can call the police.
Sadly these men do not change.
The mistake we make is that we hope they will.
💐
Also please share with someone in real life if you have someone.
Did you grow up in this type of environment op.