How to stop feeling lonely?

[Hopefulmama123]

Recently separated, young baby under 1. I have been put off men for life mentally and not sure how it would even work logistically with such a young baby.

How do I not feel lonely? I have friends and family but when all is said and done I just want to go home to the arms of my partner who is no longer there 😭

I am in a very similar position, I split last week and have a daughter who is 3 and a son who has just turned 1. Atm it is so new and I am so focused on making sure my children are ok, he was a bit nasty towards both me and my daughter. So haven't thought much about what it'll be like long term but I am worried I am going to have a lonely few years and tbh maybe even longer. Not sure what to say really but I know lots of people split up and find someone else like not sure how it'll work either but I know a lot of people do so that does gives me some hope. Sorry this has probably made it worse!

I been single for 4 years, you get use to it 😂

You’re obviously still hurting and you have a very young child. I suggest you focus on making a new life with your baby first. In time, you’ll be able to think how you’ll let someone into your life, but for now, concentrate on you. How can you give yourself the love you need? Can you think of ways to make your evenings, after the baby is in bed, proper self-nurture? Sometimes small things like drinking out of a posh glass, putting on some nice pjs, watching your favourite tv, face mask, do your nails etc. Whatever makes you feel good about yourself. It’ll help you heal and be ready for a better relationship later.

@Imi9

I am in a very similar position, I split last week and have a daughter who is 3 and a son who has just turned 1. Atm it is so new and I am so focused on making sure my children are ok, he was a bit nasty towards both me and my daughter. So haven't thought much about what it'll be like long term but I am worried I am going to have a lonely few years and tbh maybe even longer. Not sure what to say really but I know lots of people split up and find someone else like not sure how it'll work either but I know a lot of people do so that does gives me some hope. Sorry this has probably made it worse!

Ah thank you for your message. Sorry to hear you are going through something similar.

I feel like it is going to be a fair few years for me too, I just don't get how it would work. It would be a lot for a new guy to handle and even the juggling of it my end seems impossible! My baby still needs me so much!

Hopefully we will just get used to it and enjoy being single!? That's all I can hope for right now!

@Happycat1212

I been single for 4 years, you get use to it 😂

Haha I hope so, I think I have been put off men for life 😭😂

@Smithermetimbers

You’re obviously still hurting and you have a very young child. I suggest you focus on making a new life with your baby first. In time, you’ll be able to think how you’ll let someone into your life, but for now, concentrate on you. How can you give yourself the love you need? Can you think of ways to make your evenings, after the baby is in bed, proper self-nurture? Sometimes small things like drinking out of a posh glass, putting on some nice pjs, watching your favourite tv, face mask, do your nails etc. Whatever makes you feel good about yourself. It’ll help you heal and be ready for a better relationship later.

Yes I don't plan on letting anyone in any time soon.

I start work again soon and I just want my baby to be happy and good at my job.

I don't need any more complications right now.

Thank you for your advice, I will try and show myself some love xx

@Hopefulmama123
Not really even thought through what my day to day life is going to look like! I deffo don't want to be single forever but can't imagine dating someone for the forseeable future. But I know there are people with children the same age as both of ours who have found a new relationship after a breakup and that gives me hope and an open mind. But saying stuff like this is getting so far ahead of myself given I only broke up last week!

But I know there is so much good in my life and I can get to a point where I can be happy and single. I think we both need to get to the point where we are happy and content and then when we have got to that stage then we can think about finding a man

[quote Imi9]@Hopefulmama123
Not really even thought through what my day to day life is going to look like! I deffo don't want to be single forever but can't imagine dating someone for the forseeable future. But I know there are people with children the same age as both of ours who have found a new relationship after a breakup and that gives me hope and an open mind. But saying stuff like this is getting so far ahead of myself given I only broke up last week!

But I know there is so much good in my life and I can get to a point where I can be happy and single. I think we both need to get to the point where we are happy and content and then when we have got to that stage then we can think about finding a man[/quote]
Yes 100% this is my aim too.

It's nice to hear from someone going through something similar. If you ever wanted to chat dm me!

I've been on such a rollercoaster the last year with him leading me on for so long, I should feel relieved it is over. Instead I still crave his attention. Bit sad really!

You sound so strong and I'm sure you are an amazing mother! Putting your children first and creating a stable happy life for them xxx