Mortified

[Imjustsootired]

I need a quick scan of opinions here as I'm feeling so embarrassed!!!

Been chatting to a guy for a few months now met for a drink, went well, chatty texts continued. Tonight we were chatting about sex and kind of, what we like. He was describing it and used the word 'hungry'. I replied with

'Hungry. Good description... hot sweaty sex can be great!'

He replies with a shocked face emoji and "ladies pespire" ... "just saying". Then some stupid GIF with an American woman saying in a southern drawl..."I was sweating like a whore in church!".

I was mortified so sent back

"Wow. Ok, fine. I stand corrected"

He read it. Didnt respond !!!!

Now I feel like trailer trash

Was using the word "sweaty" really THAT bad? Oh god!!!

I don't have a response worth giving right now but have read all the posts and if it were me looking in on someone else's situation I would be just as harsh and say the same things....

For me, I cant see the wood for the trees and plodding along like this is my only option, for now.

Forgive my sheer nosiness, but does your DH twig how little you want him?

Does he realise any of your internal feelings?

Well no one is making you do all this by force.

It's your choice, you've chosen this.

Maybe the way out is really hard, I don't know, I'm not one of those posters who is going to trawl through all your past threads - but making out that "this is your only option" is likely false.

Sounds like you want to get caught so it all blows up? Might as well just blow it all up by just leaving.

@ElspethFlashman

No, he doesn't notice!

That's one of the side effects of him working 24/7, by choice, and therefore not having time to think about what I'm doing.

As long as the house is clean, he is fed, kids are sorted, he gets a shag, life is, as far as he is concerned, perfect. If he stopped and thought about me, properly, he'd be able to see the signs of my unhappiness a mile away. He doesnt though.

What on earth is keeping you with your DH?! You sound utterly miserable and you’re obviously love starved otherwise you wouldn’t go looking for it elsewhere. You seem to have no backbone. Your DH is wrong as well. Grow a backbone and some morals and leave DH.

This doesn't sound like a great relationship dynamic for your children to be learning from, especially if you say you would leave if someone fell hard for you the way you did for the other guy. Please do consider what growing up in this dynamic is teaching them about what healthy relationships look like.

As long as the house is clean, he is fed, kids are sorted, he gets a shag, life is, as far as he is concerned, perfect. If he stopped and thought about me, properly, he'd be able to see the signs of my unhappiness a mile away. He doesnt though.

I can feel your unhappiness from this message alone. I don't think he cares to care. It might be the life of Riley for him, but it is no life for you.
I hope something (or someone) makes you smile again op

@youvegottenminuteslynn

I have to disagree I'm afraid although I acknowledge this is a problem for many. My kids do not see my tears!! Quite the contrary actually, I'm a bloody good actress and I'm not miserable all the time anyway! Just a general feeling of dissatisfaction...knowing that deep down, this isn't right for me but also knowing, i have responsibilities and I have to be mum, wife, daughter, carer etc and to a degree, suck it up.

The kids see usual Mum. Generally happy in demeanour, always around, we laugh and have banter and they chat to me about all sorts. They dont see me and DH row, because we dont, generally.

He is always at work. He has been since the day they were all born. When hes here, we function. We smile. It's "ok". We operate as a family because I make bloody sure we do.

When they're in bed, and hes in bed, dh by 8.30pm most nights, I am alone. Then, and only then, will I allow myself a bit of time to breathe, yeah to feel fed up, whatever
The kids dont see that.

@MarkRuffaloCrumble

He expects you to be ladylike and not have any bodily functions. Fuck him off, or you’ll have a lifetime of pretending you don’t go to the toilet or shave your legs, being coy about periods etc so you don’t gross him out.

This. Run.

Hey OP I’m sorry you’ve had a bruising time with your post. Sounds like you’re in a tough position all ways round and I hope that you end up finding happiness. Mr Offended By Sweating probably isn’t it though so don’t waste your time feeling mortified about anything you said to him, it was probably a red flag so ultimately better to know!

He was joking.

He is probably mortified that you didn’t find his joke funny, and didn’t know how to respond, so he’s wimped out of saying anything.

It’s really not that big a deal.

To those saying dump him - seriously?? Just forgot it and move onto the next chat with him.

I think there's a whole ton more to worry about by the looks of it than one misplaced (if it even was ?!) Comment in a text.

He killed the vibe. Not you.

He was joking, I say I don't sweat. I glow!