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Original poster

Dating a man 15 years younger

54 replies

Heidi3333 · 28/04/2021 12:29

Hi ladies

I have a date tomorrow with a guy 15 years younger than me. I met him online and we have been chatting for a few weeks. I'm sooo nervous.

He looks gorgeous in his photos and he says he likes older women (I'm 45) but find it hard to believe a young hot guy would in interested in dating someone my age?!

Has anyone dated a toy boy with such a big age gap? How it did go?

Thanks

OP posts:
Happycat1212 · 28/04/2021 13:19

wouldn’t be for me, but each to their own

Ginuwine · 28/04/2021 13:20

@Heidi3333

Hi ladies

I have a date tomorrow with a guy 15 years younger than me. I met him online and we have been chatting for a few weeks. I'm sooo nervous.

He looks gorgeous in his photos and he says he likes older women (I'm 45) but find it hard to believe a young hot guy would in interested in dating someone my age?!

Has anyone dated a toy boy with such a big age gap? How it did go?

Thanks

I think it's great - it's fine as long as you both manage expectations early enough on (doesn't have to be the first date!) and ensure you're both compatible for the medium to long run if that's a thing

If you just want a great dining / drinking / dating / dancing / bedroom companion then fantastic! Why not?

muchtoocold · 28/04/2021 13:28

My DM had similar concerns about a date with a man 15 years younger, to the point where we had to almost force her to give it a go. They are celebrating 25 years together this year so can definitely work.

Original poster
Heidi3333 · 28/04/2021 15:45

Muchtoocold love your story!

I suppose it's worth a try. He certainly seems keen enough. I just have my doubts!

OP posts:
LittleBookOfKalms · 28/04/2021 15:48

Loads of younger men are interested in older women. It's very common.
Just go on a date and see what happens. You aren't marrying him and it could be just what you needSmile

Maggiesfarm · 28/04/2021 15:50

I can assure you that young men really do like attractive older women. when you reach a certain age they start crawling out of the woodwork. They even gain respect from having a much older 'girlfriend'.

There's no harm in going on a date but as for anything more, it depends what you want from a relationship.

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/04/2021 15:51

Are you at similar stages in your lives?

It wouldn’t work for me but I’ve never dated anyone less than 7 years older than me, we’re all different.

When a man dates a much younger woman people call him a sleaze but again, everyone is different.

See how it goes.

5128gap · 28/04/2021 20:59

For what it's worth, I think that gap is relatively small! And absolutely it can work when theres an age difference.
The thing that would concern me though is him liking older women. Theres a difference between liking someone despite their age and liking them because of it.
You may find he has certain ideas and expectations based on your age that are the key attraction rather than you as a person.

RigaBalsam · 28/04/2021 21:03

My ex Mil met a guy only 2 years older than her son. Son 19, boyfriend 21. Mil was 38. Still together now 75 and 58. Grand kids call him grandad.

Original poster
Heidi3333 · 28/04/2021 22:09

Rugabalsam love your story. V inspirational.

He said he doesn't mind a ladies age but does tend to go for older ones. So I don't think it's a case of him liking me just because I'm older as such,

Meeting tomorrow night for a drink. I haven't been on a date for over 2 years so I'm nervous 😟

OP posts:
Alcemeg · 28/04/2021 23:05

@RigaBalsam that's the same age gap as between me and my husband and we're really happy too. People who actually know us don't bat an eyelid, and in fact they all say we're the happiest couple they know.

My DH has always preferred older women not as a fetish thing, but just because of the life experience/emotional intelligence. He's always been a wise old soul and just feels out of place with his own age group.

In many ways he is more grown-up than me! 😋

Original poster
Heidi3333 · 29/04/2021 10:01

Alcemeg that's a great story. Thank you x

OP posts:
wizzywig · 29/04/2021 10:03

When he says he likes older women, does he mean purely sexually? Just take it easy and enjoy!

Original poster
Heidi3333 · 29/04/2021 10:47

Wizzywig - one thing I like about him is that he has never once mentioned the S word. V unusual in my experience!

OP posts:
MMmomDD · 29/04/2021 11:27

It depends on what you mean by ‘dating’.
I think with this sort of age difference issue of kids always comes up, if not immediately, but at some point.
And - unfair as it may be - at some point age difference does catch up. A man at 55 and woman of 70 are at different phases of life on many dimensions.
Same to an extent of genders are reversed but not completely. Not for the most people.

Alcemeg · 29/04/2021 12:22

@Heidi3333

Wizzywig - one thing I like about him is that he has never once mentioned the S word. V unusual in my experience!
It's possible he's more interested in a good conversation.

That might be a deal-breaker for you if you're more into sex 😋

All this said, after splitting from ex-DH years ago I had two relationships with younger men, one 10 years younger (which I thought was way too big a gap, and fretted about it all the time) and the other with someone 12 years younger, which I thought was the absolute limit of what was acceptable. (Little did I know...)

...and we were at it like bunny-rabbits non stop, over about 7 years.

However, that was a different stage of life (in my 40s) and I no longer have hormones coursing through my veins.

DH has always valued conversation more than sex, so I suit him better than top totty. Not saying we're celibate, but it's just not the top priority.

GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy · 29/04/2021 12:31

If he's nice, go on the date and see how it goes. There are precious few people in this world we click with and if it works for you, you simply won't care what anyone else thinks. I'm 14 years older than my DP. I was 34 and he 20 when we met. A lovelier, more respectful man you couldn't meet. Two years in and couldn't be happier - lots of laughing, love, travelling, fun....There was a similar thread recently about older women/younger men but by the time I read it, it was a pile-on of people saying how weird and creepy these women were, so I didn't fancy posting!
I hope it goes well for you.

5128gap · 29/04/2021 12:38

When a younger man tells you they like older women, unless it's to reassure you because they just like you, and your age is irrelevant; it tends to be a either a fetish; a thing to brag about as mentioned earlier, because its fashionable; or because they have stereotypical ideas of what an older woman is like.
This generally means they think you will be less trouble, because you're more 'together', less demanding because you have your own interests, not reliant on them, not wanting to push them into responsibility, solvent and independent, and will give them the easiest possible time.
If that's you, then all good, but if not, it could run into problems.

icdtap · 29/04/2021 12:39

I was in a relationship for several years with someone 14 years younger than me. It was a nightmare but that was not because of the age-gap but because he was a complete and utter knob.
He liked to throw the age-gap in my face though every time there was any kind of issue or disagreement. "You're so old. I want a pretty, young woman not an unattractive old one".
He has a new girlfriend who is 25 years older than him....

So don't let that put you off. Date him and see what happens. He could be a really nice, fun guy. However, just be careful about managing expectations. It could be that he enjoys dating older women because he's not ready for commitment and women his own age might be looking for a serious relationship and to start a family. In which case, he might see dating you as just a bit of fun - therefore, you need to be careful not to get in too deep where you could end up getting hurt.

If it looks like it could be serious and it's not just him wanting a bit of fun, I think you do need to have a discussion about children fairly early on. If he is looking for a serious relationship with you then he needs to be very clear that he does not want children... otherwise you have the issue of both of you investing in the relationship, perhaps living together and then he decides at 35 that he does want to start his own family.

It sounds like I'm thinking too far ahead when your question was about dating someone. Yes, date him, but do be a bit wary and have these thoughts at the back of your mind.

icdtap · 29/04/2021 12:42

Oh and just to add, be careful of him looking for a mother figure. He needs to be fully independent and an equal partner, not someone hoping to escape responsibility and have someone else take care of him.

MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 29/04/2021 12:44

The happiest couple I know have a similar age gap. This was the womans 3rd marriage ad has lasted 30 years so far so he must have gone right somewhere along the years.

5128gap · 29/04/2021 12:55

My advice OP would be to ask him what he likes about older women.
I'm willing to bet he is either highly critical of younger women, they're immature, shallow, self obsessed etc (what, all of them?!) or comes out with a list of traits he thinks you will have, based on your age.
This will be very useful to assess his motivation and what he is looking for.

Original poster
Heidi3333 · 29/04/2021 16:45

I'll ask him tonight why he likes older women.

I'm really nervous 😟. I haven't had a bad for over 2 years!

OP posts:
Maggiesfarm · 29/04/2021 17:16

A 'bad' what, Heidi?

I know why younger men like older women, it's obvious.

Original poster
Heidi3333 · 29/04/2021 17:19

I meant date!

Why do they like older woman?

OP posts:
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