New chap scared of his ex wife

[surlycurly]

Not going to be too specific as it's potentially outing, but my new chap (6mth relationship but progressed/ accelerated as a result of forming an extended household over lockdown) is scared of his ex wife re access to his children. He accommodates her all the time, changing plans with me last minute. He never says no. To be clear, I have no issue with him spending time with his kids, but jumping though hoops to ensure she's always happy means that I am not. Eg the bank holiday coming up- we made plans and now he's said that she has emailed that he has to have the kids most of it. He's cancelling plans with me as a result. We have had several dramas because of last minute changes of plan, or demands from her (not with me but between them). I'm not into the drama, nor do I like the feeling like I'm the one he can offend and I'll consequently have to play second fiddle. Any advice? My gut feeling is to walk. I really adore him though and had hoped that this would be a significant relationship.

He’s at least been honest with you. It was as you suspected, the behaviours you (understandably) dislike would continue. Your decision is sensible.

‘We had several conversations about the impact she still has on him’. Sounds like the main issue was actually HIS behaviours and choices. Which have consequences for him, now including no longer dating you!

Would end all contact now.

Oh the issue here/ weakness is all his. As a previous poster said, he may have been weak about other things too. I suppose I won't find out.

You made the right call. I dated a man in this situation many years ago and walked away for the same reasons. We actually briefly dated again several years later and nothing had changed - his ex wife ruled his life. He was fundamentally a weak man. I'm so glad I didn't waste time on him because I met DH a few months after.