Is this a weird text to receive from MIL?

[whitepeonies44]

Is this a weird text to receive from MIL or am I just being hormonal from the pregnancy? I received this after I texted her an update on our latest scan. “Brilliant. Hope you all well and that you are not getting too many bruises from the kicking! Xx”

Wait @whitepeonies44 you still didn't explain what you thought she meant?

OP, it might have been wise to say in your OP that you were not British (maybe not a native English speaker?) and that was why you were not sure. People would have been kinder if they had known that.

@whitepeonies44

Just to clarify, I'm not English and sometimes the British sense of humour baffles me. I'm still getting the hang of it as I didn't grow up here.

@pinkgin85 is correct when they said "different cultures interpret language, nuances, and metaphors differently."

Not sure whey people are being a bit rude in some of the comments as I thought this was a safe space to ask a genuine question and get some guidance.

Thanks again to those that provided helpful comments. I appreciate it.

So what did you think she meant?

I'm not British either and grew up in a country and culture massively different from the UK. On top of that I got a lot of my English idioms and references from American TV.

I still don't see anything wrong with that text.

Presumably your husband is British, op, if your MIL is. Couldn't he have clarified this for you?

Presumably you have mentioned that the baby is kicking a lot, so she's just making a joke around that.

She obviously knows that there won't be any bruises.

If you haven't mentioned that then it would seem an odd thing to say imo.

Sounds a lovely message 😊

Its a generic good wish that the kicking doesn't get too uncomfortable/stop you sleeping etc.

[quote me4real]@whitepeonies44 We're just deadly curious now what you thought she meant.

Your English is practically native. I have autistic traits and am not like this myself, but know that some autistic people find humour hard to grasp. Could that be a possibility?[/quote]
I cant speak for the OP. But (as a British person living abroad) I hadnt realised how much of what I say contains slightly dry, sarcastic humour. Even when, if asked, I wouldnt have said I was joking/trying to be humerous, there is often an element included. So the MiL was doing a sort of comic exageration thing (as a way of expressing caring) that most people here wouldnt even register as comic exageration - they just read it as a nice message (which it is) but the OP presumably detected the comic exageration and was confused.
At least, that is what I would guess happened!

“Is it the British sense of humour that doesn’t translate well? We do have a tendency to make jokes about everything almost as a way of denying emotion, where perhaps other nationalities would be more sincere and serious.”

@whitepeonies44 - this nails it, I think, OP and it’s perhaps why you were dismayed. To me, like nearly every other PP, this just sounds like a sweet, friendly message. However, there are probably many cultures where people would discuss the pregnancy in a more direct way and it probably does seem odd in that context.

Sounds like you have a good relationship with your MIL. Congratulations on your pregnancy, OP.

Even without being British, surely when someone says “hope you’re well” you can take that to mean they hope you are well?

@whitepeonies44

Just to clarify, I'm not English and sometimes the British sense of humour baffles me. I'm still getting the hang of it as I didn't grow up here.

@pinkgin85 is correct when they said "different cultures interpret language, nuances, and metaphors differently."

Not sure whey people are being a bit rude in some of the comments as I thought this was a safe space to ask a genuine question and get some guidance.

Thanks again to those that provided helpful comments. I appreciate it.

Sorry you've had some rude comments. I think in future it's helpful if you say your first language isn't English in the original post when asking questions about language. I think a lot who commented didn't think of this possibility and so it seemed strange.

Not sure whey people are being a bit rude in some of the comments as I thought this was a safe space to ask a genuine question and get some guidance

You are mistaken.

@Embracingthechaos

Not sure whey people are being a bit rude in some of the comments as I thought this was a safe space to ask a genuine question and get some guidance

You are mistaken.

To be fair this was posted in Relationships, not AIBU. The problem is that it trended and people don’t notice which board threads were originally posted on when they click on a trending post. The default assumption is AIBU.

Not weird at all just a lovely friendly message.

Mumsnet is definitely not a safe space!

It doesn’t sound like cultural confusion to me. It sounds like you’re looking to be offended by your MIL.

But as per your MILs lovely text, I do hope you are all well and that you are not getting too many bruises from the kicking!

I'd be very happy to have such a fun, loving response from my MIL

@HaveringWavering yes that's true, I think a lot of people don't look at which board they on and just click into trending stuff on the home screen.

I’d go NC with her just to be on the safe side

I saw an episode of Gone Fishing with Paul Whitehouse and Bob Mortimer in which Bob told this awful story about how he was told, at the age of 6, about his mother’s death. Paul said something sympathetic, slight pause, then on to the jokey remark.

This is what we do.

I can see how other nationalities might not get us.

MIL literally having a joke with you...hnrtht but why are you so concerned?

I can get why this might have been misinterpreted if English is a second language (I don't know if this is the case) but a literal translation of that sentence into another language might have different connotations and subtext to how it was intended. I think many people who learn English as a second language (usually perfectly as well!) can be a little taken aback by Brits' application of the language and poor grasp of it! Henning Wehn did a stand up piece on it, it was very true! British sense of humour is also weird to be fair.

The text is lovely though OP :)

Unless you are still going to kickboxing classes, I really can't understand what else you could possibly think the text meant, English or not English.

Especially as the posts are written by someone who clearly mastered the English language.

Genuine question, what do you think was weird? Was it too personal and too much detail?

I'm still curious to know exactly which part of the text could be weird and why - what is the alternate interpretation?

Not sure whey people are being a bit rude in some of the comments as I thought this was a safe space to ask a genuine question and get some guidance.

It should be a safe space but sadly too many nasty posters around these days. However, the benefits far out way the negatives and there are way more friendly posters than not.

A useful tip is to provide all relevant information in the opening post - such as English not being your first language when you're talking about something that has been said. Otherwise your post could have been interpreted as you looking for any tiny excuse to have a go at your MIL, and may explain some of the responses you got.

Nothing weird about the text at all in my opinion.