Should I worry? Need advice

[mmollymeekinss]

I'm 33 weeks pregnant.

I was on my partners phone looking for a installation date confirmation from Homebase.

I saw a weird message clicked on it and saw a few texts from his ex gf.

They separated a year and a half ago, she cheated on him twice and it got out around work/friends.

Anyway we met shortly after this.

Most texts were basic and there is one in March about a sex dream and how she came and wanted to let him know.

The other text was 2 weeks ago a screenshot of there favourite song AND She put amazing memories.

To confirm there are no replies but I keep thinking well maybe he deleted them?

Her name is under something else which is my first alarm bell but it's been this name since we met? I have never questioned him about it actually he doesn't know I know it's her.

Also one of the texts she sent to him I'd seen before on his WhatsApp archive history but never clicked on it just remembered the sentence.

My question is should I worry? We are in my mind deeply committed having a baby soon and getting married. He treats me exceedingly well. Am I over thinking?

1. he is infact speaking to her.
2. he isn't and just ignoring her messages.

He is slightly older and his phone is there for me to go on whenever he would never be like don't go on it.

Anyway I have her number saved under b I t c h on my phone hahahahahaha if I ever need to contact her I hope I dont.

Apart of me thinks she doesn't know?

Oh yeah worst part she works for the same company as me but my company is huge and global and we would never cross paths she is like an admin assistant and I'm a executive.

Ugh PREGNANCY HORMONES

Forgot to put they were together for 9 YEARS!!!!

No need for the admin assistant jab.

Why are you going through his WhatsApp etc..

FYI I did not mean to mock or jab the admin assistant the way I wrote it came out in the wrong way - we are DIFFERENT business divisions that's all.

It's the having her name as something else that's the kicker, isn't it?

I would have deleted and blocked. And then watched him like a hawk...
For now.

@Alex908

No need for the admin assistant jab.

Why are you going through his WhatsApp etc..

Yes I'm aware it sounds awful I wish I could edit and take the bloody an out.

When it was whatsapp he was showing me something innocently.

In terms of messages I was scrolling through trying to find a confirmation text!

Why are you snooping on his texts and whatsapp OP?
You say his phone is available for you to look at so you thought you'd pry through his messages ? There's a difference between looking for a date for some works and going through WhatsApp msg archives
Maybe he's doing nothing maybe he's not but to be frank you're as bad as your accusing him of being imo

@category12 I know maybe it's because if she ever called he would know it's her I don't know that bit pisses me off.

@Aprilshowersandhail I was thinking that but if he ever went to look he would see she has been blocked and then know I blocked I.

I rate if I blocked her on iPhone she would msg him figure it out abs then message him on WhatsApp like wtf?

It's the no replies that gets me aswell

@OpheliasCrayon

Why are you snooping on his texts and whatsapp OP? You say his phone is available for you to look at so you thought you'd pry through his messages ? There's a difference between looking for a date for some works and going through WhatsApp msg archives Maybe he's doing nothing maybe he's not but to be frank you're as bad as your accusing him of being imo

I didn't make it clear..... He was going through his archive history to show me a picture of his Nan or something equally as innocent the top message was the same message that she had sent to him on iPhone message that's how I just figured out now who that person was because I read the same message...

Yes I'm no saint and VERY wrong for looking through his iPhone messages but tbh it was literally there in front of me and the bloody Homebase message was above it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 fml

[quote mmollymeekinss]@category12 I know maybe it's because if she ever called he would know it's her I don't know that bit pisses me off.

@Aprilshowersandhail I was thinking that but if he ever went to look he would see she has been blocked and then know I blocked I.

I rate if I blocked her on iPhone she would msg him figure it out abs then message him on WhatsApp like wtf?

It's the no replies that gets me aswell [/quote]
How old are you all I OP? This all sounds like you're teenagers. You need to lighten up I think. My DH messages ex's as they've stayed friends, it's not massive deal.

The tons of smileys and "fml" and justifications for why you invaded his privacy still doesn't make it ok OP

Not teenagers....

Pre emoji and fml - I admit to the fact I should not of looked.

My question is should I worry?

I know I'm in the wrong for anyone else wanting to comment along the same lines

Hey OP,

Really sorry to hear this. Personally I can understand why you'd be a bit concerned about this.

There is a difference between having a friendly relationship with an ex and having hidden sexual messages from an ex who's name you have changed in your phone. I would absolutely speak to your partner about this. Remember, messages can be deleted and he may well have responded but deleted his side so as not to incriminate himself.

I don't mean to jump to assumptions in my previous reply but it seems very odd that he has her name saved under an alias while keeping text messages relating to her sexual pleasure while thinking of him.

@mmollymeekinss

Not teenagers....

Pre emoji and fml - I admit to the fact I should not of looked.

My question is should I worry?

I know I'm in the wrong for anyone else wanting to comment along the same lines

You shouldn't worry anymore than he should worry that you're snooping on his.

@broodybumps

Hey OP,

Really sorry to hear this. Personally I can understand why you'd be a bit concerned about this.

There is a difference between having a friendly relationship with an ex and having hidden sexual messages from an ex who's name you have changed in your phone. I would absolutely speak to your partner about this. Remember, messages can be deleted and he may well have responded but deleted his side so as not to incriminate himself.

Exactly.

It's just the one off random I had a sex dream message the other 2 are basic

I don't want to cause an argument that's not necessary you know

Ugh 🤦🏻‍♀️

@broodybumps I just don't get why he kept the messages and if he was deleting his responses then why?

A big part of me thinks she is just messaging him every now and again in hope he will respond.

I don’t think you have anything to worry about based on the information provided OP.

However I would be tempted to speak with him about her just to put your mind at ease, without saying that you’ve seen the messages.

Wow MN usually encourages snooping... op i would ask him outright tbh

IKR? I don't understand why people have jumped down OPs throat over her use of emojis etc. Everyone types/texts differently. What happened to be kind!

God she texted him saying she came thinking of him? I’d be telling him he needs to delete & block her number immediately! Don’t know why you’re getting such a hard time. Also out of order having her name saved as a different name.
I’d set a boundary on this one — he shouldn’t be having contact with her at all if it’s in any way sexual, which it is on her end!

Hmm I agree that it would be weird for him to have been replying but only deleting his replies....more likely to just delete the whole chat if he was set on hiding it from you. Is it another woman’s name or a nickname? If it’s another woman’s name how do you know it’s the ex? Also I don’t judge anyone for reading their partners phone. Snooping is the number one way to find a cheat and sometimes you’ve got to do it. However I’ve usually only been compelled to do this when I don’t trust a partner already. From the sounds of the messages, I wouldn’t be worried though. It seems like she’s just messaging him and he’s ignoring her - which is good! Maybe just casually ask if they ever speak? See what he says and get a feel for it.

@broodybumps I agree. Some grumps on tonight. Take no notice op

I really think you need to address why exactly he changed her name on his phone and why she is sending him this stuff? If you don't it will only eat away at you and cause you an awful lot of stress. I hope all goes well and good luck with your pregnancy

Between your overdue of emojis, you mocking her job, naming her bitch under your phone and snooping his phone ... you sound 19