"When I'm in a relationship, I wouldn't go out without my partner, it's not fair on them".

[MarshmallowAra]

"When I'm in a relationship, I wouldn't go out without my partner, it's not fair on them".

What would you think.of a man who made that statement?

Who could survive a relationship where neither of you could go out on your own with others, due to ‘unfairness to other partner’?

Controlling, repressive, claustrophobic, untrusting, and downright boring. Such an unhealthy mindset. I couldn’t be with someone like that.

Do they make jealous, controlling, extreme men in a factory somewhere; how is this so seemingly common ... Nature, nurture?

There don't seem to be anywhere near as many women like this (though there's a thread on aibu with a young woman like this at the moment, posted by the boys mum).

I would say only be in that relationship if you are happy with being around them 24/7 - because you won’t be going anywhere either

He is either controlling and very insecure, or, if this is endemic within his family then I'd suggest he's co-dependent.

It's certainly very unhealthy either way and you're well out of it!

Before he came out with that and similar statements, he'd told me about an ex who'd been very insecure, jealous,va bit paranoid etc (with several seemingly solid examples) and I stupidly thought she had sort of brain washed him or pressured him into agreeing not to go out without her, and had convinced him it was inappropriate/unfair. I thought he'd see I wasn't like that and abandon the "principle".

I didn't think I was naive but I must have been because I didn't see what do many posters have caught into immediately i.e. that it was actually a controlling strategy.

*caught onto

Is he Mike Pence?

@HerMammy

Is he Mike Pence?

I had to Google that .

Nothing would surprise me about people who associate with Donald Trump.

Mike Pence due to his religion won’t be alone with a woman unless it’s his wife, so he’s not tempted by evil women 🙄🙄

Suffocating, cringey, controlling, joined at the hip, let's knit matching jumpers. No.

I would be concerned about their view of a healthy relationship.
It sounds as though they don’t respect that each person is an individual with their own identity and own life.
It should be encouraged that each partner enjoys alone time with their friends/family/hobbies.

@HerMammy

Mike Pence due to his religion won’t be alone with a woman unless it’s his wife, so he’s not tempted by evil women 🙄🙄

Ah yeah it's the women who are evil.

And he has no control over his hand/dick etc.

Reminds me a bit of a Muslim guy telling me that abayas etc are great because people (men) can't tell the difference between a ninety year old woman and a young one ... Yes, it's women's responsibility to cover themselves in a large loose black garment so men don't harass them.

When I said people, unless they are insane, know when they are doing wrong and are they not responsible for their own behaviour .. he had no response but was decidedly unimpressed/declined to have further contact with me.

Sorry, slight tangent/rant there.

I would think it is fucking weird that he feels he needs a baby sitter. Then I would assume that he would also expect to escort his partner on every outing in order to control them. Would swerve this man.

The mother of an ex boyfriend used to think this. It all stemmed from the fact she'd had an affair which ended her first marriage, she didn't trust herself and so couldn't trust others.

i knew someone who was like this, they would not go out without their partner. Not even on girls nights without him.

Its really sad and pathetic

@Mylittlepony374

He's controlling. What he really means is he doesn't want his partner to go out. Not a chance I'd hang around for that crazy.

Exactly this, he is setting the status quo of the relationship. See what he's like when you arrange a girls night out. I predict moods before the night out and silent treatment after.

Probably controlling.
All of the people I've known like this have either been cheats themselves, or have been cheated on (once bitten, twice shy).

There don't seem to be anywhere near as many women like this
It depends who you socialise with I think. I have known many women like this.

@MarshmallowAra, don’t feel your naive. I only caught on as I’ve experienced people like that. It can feel very different in person to when you take out any emotion and see what they said in black and white.