Help me unravel this mystery!

[Vanillarose1]

This is so bizarre I don't even know where to begin...

I received a phone call this morning from a woman claiming that I am having an affair with her husband. I have never heard of nor met this man and he's about 20 years older (deduced from the fact she said they'd been married for 40 years).

She said that there were messages all over BOTH of their phones from me - arranging hotel and airport visits and I'm guessing graphic material as she was very upset.

She told me that he was in hospital having taken an overdose over all of it.

I do have my own public-facing business (think wedding photography as an example) so my face, number and approx location are all easily available. She had looked me up and read all of my reviews.

How on earth have I been linked to this mess? Could someone use my number and hack messages onto both of their phones? It makes no sense at all. My partner think that she may be a stalker or mentally ill but she sounded so genuine and distraught. We subsequently looked her up on Facebook and she lives in the same small town as us and does the job she claimed she does.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? I am shaking with shock even though it's all absolutely nothing to do with me!

I feel like I really want to help her!

This is all so strange. You say it's a small town, could you and your partner arrange to meet her somewhere public? Have a coffee outside somewhere?

It's possible that her husband has been catfished, possibly even persuaded to send money to someone - you've mentioned hotel and airport visits. If it's true that he has taken an overdose and ended up in hospital, it seems quite an extreme reaction.

Or like others have said, it's possible you're being set up and this is a scam to get money from you.

If I were you, I'd be doing as much research on them as possible, looking up both of them on all social media chanels, Does the home phone number you've been given seen legit?

Yes the home phone number is legit. My DP called it last night and it's the right code for our town. I was actually avoiding researching them on my devices in case it links me to them!

I spoke to a friend who is a police officer yesterday and they said it's a possible scam

Go back to this friend with everything you now know and follow their advice, do not have your partner meet anyone at their home, you do not know what kind of situation he is walking into. What if DP goes to their home and this woman calls the police claiming he is harassing her? She could claim anything at all is happening. What if he shows up at some innocent persons address? How do you not know if this person is just trying to get your DP to go to a random address to try to frighten someone else?

Have you googled her number and any other numbers given to you? Why are you believing anything this person tells you, they have failed to provide proof of anything to you.

I'd be tempted to leave it, but at the same time if I had been accused of something I KNOW isn't true... I'd want to clear my name. Especially if I had a business where my reputation could be called into question. If there's been no mention of money then I don't think it's a scam. I'm still going with mistaken identity or perhaps THEY'RE the ones being scammed. Would be interested to know if this woman's husband has given "you" any money... perhaps the reason for his overdose is because he's realised he's been fooled and has given away a lot of money?

@Vanillarose1

Yes the home phone number is legit. My DP called it last night and it's the right code for our town. I was actually avoiding researching them on my devices in case it links me to them!

I'm not in the police, but I would imagine that if there was an investigation into all of this and your devices were looked at it, it would show that you have only started to research them after they've contacted you, not before.

It seems a natural and understandable thing to research to find out what you can when someone has accused you of having an affair out of the blue.

Someone answering a phone number that you've been given, doesn't make it legit, although the right code is a good start! Can you check to see if the number is listed in the local phone directory, registered to the names of the people concerned, at the address you've been given?

The fact that money hasn't been mentioned yet, doesn't mean it isn't a scam, that's how a good scam works, set the scene/gain trust and then request money later in a way that doesn't immediately arouse suspicion. Many of the so called "romance scams" where people are catfished online play out over many months.

Has the alleged affair person got the same name as your, and she googled the name and found your name? A case of mistaken identity?

@iklboo

Early signs of dementia!?

Christ on a bike. Is this really the go to these days? Person trying to scam someone or who has been scammed must have early onset dementia? People do realise how relatively rare it is? According to MN anyone over 40 behaving badly must have it.

😂 I thought this too.

Dementia and ASD/ADD are the go to armchair diagnoses on this forum.

She sent the screenshots to my partner out of the blue at lunchtime. We've just been through them and I'm not sure if I feel better or worse.

Almost all of the things she sent were photos of me taken from my public website. The most worrying thing was a screenshot of directions to my house. Except it wasn't actually my house as I don't list my proper address on google business for this very reason! That turned my blood cold.

Still so many unanswered questions but the most likely possibility after seeing these are that her husband was stalking me or at least paying way too much attention. She also sent a screenshot of the website of a local tutor so maybe he was stalking her too - I have no link to her and don't know her.

We've asked her to clarify whether someone sent her/her husband my photos or whether he had screenshots of them on his phone. Once I get an answer to that I think it's probably time to send it all over to the local police, just to register that something odd is going on. Although they'll probably think I'm a bit crazy!

I recently got phone calls from random numbers. Turns out someone had been able to impersonate my number. There was also an R4 moneybox item on fraudsters impersonating bank numbers. Could it be someone has impersonated your number and triggered a mental health crisis?

What about the messages she mentioned coming from your phone number OP? Did she send copies and if so were they sent from your number?

I’m surprised how long it has taken her to send over the screenshots, are you sure it’s not her? Personally I’d cut all contact and refer to Police if necessary.

@WatieKatie

What about the messages she mentioned coming from your phone number OP? Did she send copies and if so were they sent from your number?

I’m surprised how long it has taken her to send over the screenshots, are you sure it’s not her? Personally I’d cut all contact and refer to Police if necessary.

There was nothing from my phone number at all, that doesn't make any sense. But she was very flustered when she spoke to me the first time.

I can fully understand why you feel concerned. I think it’s worth a call to the police.

The police probably have somewhere online to log non emergencies. I'd do that . So you can get down everything you want to say in your own time and maybe it will let you attach the screen shots etc.

I'd phone the police too! The bit with your address (or at least what they thought was your address) would scare me!

So she didn’t send screenshots of actual messages, just publicly available stuff?

Sounds like a scam for money or she’s rather unwell then!

I would expect if it was a partner confronting the suspected other party, there would be some kind of indisputable proof, explicit messages for example. This sounds like items pulled from publicly available information on the internet.

Could she or he have used your business in the past or know you from a distance, for example a mutual friend or the gym?

All the things she sent my DP were publically available. Unless she's holding anything back? She mentioned airports and hotels to me but there was no reference to that at all.

My DP drove past the address she gave him on his way to work - he said it was a big, flashy house so I'm still doubtful of a scam. The husband's van was outside and my DP recognised it as a local builder (the name matched the name she gave me for her husband too). On the advice of one of the posters, I bit the bullet and researched her and she used to be a local councillor! Just gets odder and odder!

I had a similar phone call years ago when I had been with my new partner for nearly a year and he had just moved in. I am sure it was my now DH ex wife who set it up. The woman on the phone said she knew where I lived, but she got a small detail in the address wrong, which the exact same error the ex wife used when she re-directed his mail.

I think I’d contact the police and ask them to go round to see her, as a kind of welfare check. If her husband has actually attempted suicide, I’m sure they’d take it seriously.

@Imissmoominmama

I think I’d contact the police and ask them to go round to see her, as a kind of welfare check. If her husband has actually attempted suicide, I’m sure they’d take it seriously.

Good idea!

@Imissmoominmama

I think I’d contact the police and ask them to go round to see her, as a kind of welfare check. If her husband has actually attempted suicide, I’m sure they’d take it seriously.

This is a really good idea. Would I just call 101? I was going to email tonight because I need DP to send me the screenshots when he gets home from work.

Yes I think give 101 a call.

Id withhold your number, and get your DP to ring the number on the side of the husband's van (assuming there is one) on the pretext of getting a quote to ascertain whether or not he's in hospital.

Did she dial the right number , sounds like she misread one of the digits and got you

Good idea about calling the builder, ask for potential quote or something! See if he really is in hospital.