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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Help me unravel this mystery!

112 replies

Vanillarose1 · 06/04/2021 11:21

This is so bizarre I don't even know where to begin...

I received a phone call this morning from a woman claiming that I am having an affair with her husband. I have never heard of nor met this man and he's about 20 years older (deduced from the fact she said they'd been married for 40 years).

She said that there were messages all over BOTH of their phones from me - arranging hotel and airport visits and I'm guessing graphic material as she was very upset.

She told me that he was in hospital having taken an overdose over all of it.

I do have my own public-facing business (think wedding photography as an example) so my face, number and approx location are all easily available. She had looked me up and read all of my reviews.

How on earth have I been linked to this mess? Could someone use my number and hack messages onto both of their phones? It makes no sense at all. My partner think that she may be a stalker or mentally ill but she sounded so genuine and distraught. We subsequently looked her up on Facebook and she lives in the same small town as us and does the job she claimed she does.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? I am shaking with shock even though it's all absolutely nothing to do with me!

I feel like I really want to help her!

OP posts:

fedup078 · 07/04/2021 11:41

I'd contact the police and report it as a potential scam

FenceSplinters · 07/04/2021 11:47

I’d be worried about the damage she could do to your business. I like the idea of your partner contacting her. They could meet and she could show the messages.

UhtredRagnarson · 07/04/2021 11:50

My friend was horrified to find someone had set up an online dating profile using her name and photograph. Sounds like the same could have happened here OP.

Pavlova31 · 07/04/2021 12:06

I would log these details with the police as a potential scam and ask their advice about your plans to actually meet up with her.

Original poster

Vanillarose1 · 07/04/2021 12:12

@Hotcuppatea

Maybe she has mental health issues and is making the whole thing up? Did she give you her name or his name? Do they even exist?

Yes she gave her full name, his name and both her mobile and home phone numbers.

OP posts:

Original poster

Vanillarose1 · 07/04/2021 12:27

@UhtredRagnarson

My friend was horrified to find someone had set up an online dating profile using her name and photograph. Sounds like the same could have happened here OP.

This is my best guess at the moment.

But like others have said, I'm worried that she will trash my business and my reputation in the meantime!

OP posts:

Adultingin2021 · 07/04/2021 12:34

Following with interest.

OP if I were you I’d contact her back and ask to meet to clarify everything. I’d be worried about my reputation, especially as you run a local business and live in the same area.

If it’s a scam then she will refuse to meet you, and you can report to the police. If it’s a case of mistaken identity or cat fishing, you can hopefully report it to the police/dating app and get the false profile removed.

I’d be absolutely fuming/worried about being accused of something like this so I would definitely not be ignoring it like some PP are suggesting!

Mylovelyhorsee · 07/04/2021 12:46

Early signs of dementia!?

Ariela · 07/04/2021 13:05

Have you done an image search for the profile photos you use on your public profile to see if they're listed on a dating site?

My friend found herself on one, having been alerted by a single friend using Tinder or whatever. It was a lovely photo of her dressed up and at Ascot, all smiley with glass of champagne. She complained to the website and got it removed.

Original poster

Vanillarose1 · 07/04/2021 20:54

@Ariela

Have you done an image search for the profile photos you use on your public profile to see if they're listed on a dating site?

I've had a go but not sure I'm doing it right! Haven't found anything untoward.

My partner phoned her tonight and asked her to send him to screenshots via WhatsApp. He said she sounded a bit ditzy but genuine. She wants him to meet her and look at her phone as she can't explain what's going on. She gave him her address. He said to send the screenshots first so we're just waiting for them now.

OP posts:

Abfabfanjo · 07/04/2021 21:01

Sounds like some kind of scam to me. Ditzy woman who isn't tech savvy? She's part of a team, working to get money out of people.

Greenrubber · 07/04/2021 21:15

I hope you get this resolved soon OP

LadyInParis · 07/04/2021 21:56

How odd.. I didn’t know you could essentially reroute your number through someone else’s!

Op my first, immediate thought was- what about the business and possible review blackmail?? Is your husband safe to go there if it’s possible criminal activity??

AramintaLee · 08/04/2021 08:47

This is bizarre. Did you ever get the screenshots?

I would say scam but if she's given you her numbers and she's local to you, I don't think so.

I think perhaps PPs are right and this is a catfish gone wrong and the husband has realised he's been fooled.

CandleWick4 · 08/04/2021 08:58

Sounds like some sort of scam to me. I would block the number she called you on and carry on. If you get any more harassing calls/visits etc then I would be off to the police. Not sure what else you can do?

HeartsAndClubs · 08/04/2021 09:01

I would say scam. Ditsy (who appears upset) Woman, I would say it won’t be long before the request for money happens. Either cause o her emotional distress, or to stop her posting bad reviews of your business.

If your partner goes round there I would suggest he ask the police to accompany him to have a word.

UCOinaUCG · 08/04/2021 09:02

This sounds so odd. Have you found out any more @Vanillarose1?

JackieWeaverFever · 08/04/2021 09:02

I agree it's some kind of weird scam.

fedup078 · 08/04/2021 09:08

Sorry if this has already been suggested but I think you said you found her on fb
Have you tried sending her a message on there to ask if she really was the person ringing as the scammer might be impersonating her

Original poster

Vanillarose1 · 08/04/2021 10:13

@AramintaLee

This is bizarre. Did you ever get the screenshots?

I would say scam but if she's given you her numbers and she's local to you, I don't think so.

I think perhaps PPs are right and this is a catfish gone wrong and the husband has realised he's been fooled.

No - she didn't send the screenshots last night.

At a bit of a loss whether to let DP go to her house. I want to get to the bottom of it all and prevent any damage to my business but don't want to put him in danger either! He said he thinks she sounded much older and just got very confused because she's never had a smart phone before and somehow got fixed on me. I'm not sure though.

OP posts:

funnylittlefloozie · 08/04/2021 10:20

Why don't you both go to the house, and see if that will help?

Original poster

Vanillarose1 · 08/04/2021 10:32

We haven't done that because my children are with me this week. They will be at their dad's on Monday so we could possibly go together then.

It's the weirdest feeling though. Do you ever not buy something in a shop and feel like you're under suspicion as you leave? It's like that but worse!

I keep feeling that I have to justify why it's definitely not me!!

OP posts:

Theunamedcat · 08/04/2021 10:37

Don't go to her house meet somewhere public instead

MadeForThis · 08/04/2021 10:42

Definitely meet her. If it's a scam you are wise to it now.

I would want it to all play out. Couldn't stand waiting for a phone call or further contact.

Get it all sorted out now.

iklboo · 08/04/2021 10:42

Early signs of dementia!?

Christ on a bike. Is this really the go to these days? Person trying to scam someone or who has been scammed must have early onset dementia? People do realise how relatively rare it is? According to MN anyone over 40 behaving badly must have it.

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