Am I over thinking this?

[brenda33]

I started speaking to someone 6 weeks ago.
He would text all the time,we had great conversations etc.
We met last weekend and had a great time.
We are meeting next Friday for drinks.
The last couple of days he hasn't spoken much and hasn't rang me since Friday.
Yesterday he had his nephews over and didn't reply for 6 hours.

He then messaged me.
Then we text then he took 2 hours to reply.
He replied saying sorry he had been playing games with his nephew.

This morning he hasn't replied to my text I sent at 8am but he has been online and also viewed me insta story.

Do I say anything to him?

He isn't interested but doesn't want to say. He hopes that by slowing down responses you will take the hint and cancel so he doesn't have to

You sound far too invested in comms with a man you haven’t even met if a six-hour ‘absence’ whose reason you know is bothering you that much.

It's crazy tho because Sunday he text lots and even said he was excited for next Friday.
Now all of a sudden yesterday really quiet.

Shall I just say
"If you want to cancel next Friday just let me know?"

I think if it's a one off give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was having a nice time with his nephews? And it's not even 10 since an 8am text perhaps he's just been busy with work?

If it continues maybe a sign of something bit I would assume a 48 hour period of a bit quiet to be perfectly normal

He doesn't start work till 3pm today.
He's nephew stayed over last night

So he texted lots on Sunday and he's only been quiet for one day (yesterday)?? OP you are jumping to conclusions here! It may be that he's not interested or it may just be that he's had a busy day with family. Don't say that about cancelling Friday or you will sound paranoid and needy. Just see how things go over the next few days. Things should be clearer by tomorrow / Thurs.

He's on insta now updating his story.
So he's just choosing not to reply.
Tbh my ex used to do the same and I can't be arsed to do that with someone else again.

He's been busy with his nephew and you've already met and have another date booked.

Don't analyse communications so much. You're still getting to know each other. Be busy yourself and relax and enjoy.

He can't be that busy if he's not able to respond to your message but can view your insta and update his own.. id back off. Dont chase him or send anymore messages

Well exactly ..not to busy to be on Instagram.
He is exactly like my ex,I can tell.
I can't be arsed

He text me about half an hour ago.
I'm still doubting if he is interested tho.

You sound really hard work! Relax and enjoy this stage :)

Don't message him again. If you don't hear from him either assume Friday is off or text tomorrow asking him if it's still on so you can make alternative plans if not.

Why do you feel the need to check what he’s doing online to see if he isn’t replying? If you have a good time together in person then I don’t think this texting thing is an issue.

IIRC, you used to post a lot under different names about your ex.

Your "problems" sound exactly the same as you're posting here.

Why do you expect him to reply to you the minute he's online?

When I'm online early in the morning I'm checking the headlines, reading news, checking email and messages, maybe doing admin tasks. I'm not replying to any of them until I've at least had a coffee.

And maybe not even then because I only reply to people once I've worked out what I'm going to say. Or if it requires more thought (ie, if it was someone new I was interested in) I'd wait til I had a quiet moment to reply properly, not off-the-cuff.

And yes in the meantime I might update my stories or send a tweet that requires much less thought or care!

It really just depends on what you want. It seems like he's looking for casual or just isn't as in to you as you are him. I'd just stop contacting him and give him short but polite answers if he does.

@brenda33

Shall I just say "If you want to cancel next Friday just let me know?"

Omg no!!!

He's probably busy - give it a few days and see if Friday goes ahead

@brenda33

He's on insta now updating his story. So he's just choosing not to reply. Tbh my ex used to do the same and I can't be arsed to do that with someone else again.

You need to chill out OP... stop overthinking it and keep busy.

Jesus, sorry I don't get this panic because someone doesn't respond straight away. I might post on Facebook but not reply to a message someone sent me for a good few hours or days. The last guy I was messaging and met up with would read a message and respond a few hours later, I used to joke he was thinking of what to say. We lead busy lives and sometimes you can read a message but not have time to reply.

I don’t text my best friends as much as you seem to want a near stranger to text you! He’s only met you once, why on earth can’t he update his social media or text a friend ahead of replying to you? He doesn’t owe you his undivided attention whenever you demand it.

If you had the same “issue” with your ex, perhaps the issue is yours and you’re being far too demanding about being in touch with people all the time. It’s stifling and you’re going to put this new man off if you continue with it.

Sounds like he's just busy and texting lots when he has the time. If I were you I'd back off a bit.

I’d give him the benefit of the doubt and stop over thinking things just because he’s been busy for one day

OP you need to stop, you're massively overthinking and coming across as needy.

If it was me and I was still getting the same vibe (not that I particularly think there is a vibe) then I would cancel Friday of my own accord 'so sorry, something's come up, I'm afraid I can't make it,' and leave the ball in his court to re-book.

DO NOT go all flouncy with an "If you want to cancel next Friday just let me know?"