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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He couldn't even buy his daughter an Easter egg

54 replies

gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 18:09

So..... my ex came round to see our daughter today for an hour. I presumed he wanted to see her to take her a little Easter egg round. But he didn't. He made a big deal about taking his other two children (from another marriage) out to buy them Easter eggs so they could pick them. He said he had already bought her an Easter egg with me because he gives me money for her. When I mentioned he also pays his other ex wife money but still took them out shopping to buy them one he said I'm psycho. He could have easily picked her up a little one for 99p. Actually a little upset about this right now even though it's so trivial I probably shouldn't be :(

OP posts:
gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 18:27

@MyAltAccount

You're not wrong to feel upset; I would too in your position.

Being a father is more than absolving responsibility to someone else!!

I suspect he forgot to get her one and then attempted to place the blame on you rather than admit he screwed up.

Yes I think your right, think I'm just feeling a bit emotional today :(
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gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 18:30

@needadvice54321

I started leaving DS and his Dad to sort stuff out from about 15 years old. Huge relief to be honest
I honestly can't wait for that day Thanks
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gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 18:32

@needadvice54321

Well he sounds like an utter dick, doesn't he? My ex does a lot of stuff like this, goes out of his way for one set of children but wouldn't do the same for DS. Sadly DS now knows about it and at 17 has little time for him anymore. His loss, but I do feel sorry for DS
It's just wrong isn't it :(
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Outbutnotoutout · 03/04/2021 18:32

Will that work the same way when it's her birthday, Christmas that he has given you money.

What a terrible father

gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 18:33

@Outbutnotoutout

Will that work the same way when it's her birthday, Christmas that he has given you money.

What a terrible father

I did wonder that too. I guess we'll see this year as it'll be the first Christmas we will have separated 🤷‍♀️
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Springsnake · 03/04/2021 18:55

He’s probably lied to upset you doubt he took them ,he’s trying to hurt you

Rainbowandscarlett · 03/04/2021 18:56

My grandmother used to do this
She’d come in with a carrier bag full to the brim of massive expensive eggs,make sure we saw them and take great pleasure in walking back out after telling us they where for our cousins (she did pull out really cheap tiny eggs one year for us-buried under the posh ones-they ended up in the bin as they where rank)
It hurt-but now looking back it was her loss,as when she died myself and my brothers didn’t want to know her (it wasn’t just the eggs-there is a massive back story but you get the idea from the eggs)
These fools seem to forget that children grow up and have minds of their own
But they have the cheek to wonder why these grown up kids don’t want to know them
Bide your time,love her and she’ll know who did their best and who didn’t want to know-I’m sure she’ll love the egg(s) you’ve bought her
My dad once told me ‘kids want what’s in front of them’ (in this case chocolate)
She’ll be fine after that

myrtlehuckingfuge · 03/04/2021 19:04

You've only his word for it with regard to the other kids and the 'magnificent' spending spree. Only a recent split? Sounds like he's still stewing. Perfectly calculated to rankle. It would get on my tits too-sorry that he is being a tool.

tara66 · 03/04/2021 19:07

There does seem to be a shortage of Easter Eggs this year - there was even a thread about it on MN and it's been in the newspapers.

Thingsdogetbetter · 03/04/2021 19:20

I agree with pp, he's lied about buying his other dc Easter eggs because he wants to hurt you. Anything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. Guarantee that he's told his ex the same thing: that he spoilted your dc rotten and is some fabulous father. It's a warped triangulation.

CherryDocsInYrBalls · 03/04/2021 22:41

Also agree he's lying. The shopping spree never happened. Please Google grey rock method and go as low contact as humanly possible. Narcissists will say anything to cut you down and get you thinking about them, that's what they thrive on. Watch some Stephanie Lyn coaching videos on YouTube she outlines some co-parenting techniques with this kind of damaged personality

gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 22:55

It's never occurred to me that he would be lying about buying them Easter eggs!! If he is that's just odd or he's just messing with my head

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MrsBerthaRochester · 03/04/2021 22:57

My ex bought kids an egg(or supposedly his girlfriend did) and gave them £10 each. So obviously he is a fantastic father ....who is fighting tooth and nail to leave us(DC's and I) penniless and homeless.

MrsBerthaRochester · 03/04/2021 23:04

Sorry op it's shit and I don't blame you for feeling sad for your dd. It boils my piss when they think they are number 1 dad's because they "pay" for their kids!
I know it is frowned upon on here but I would love it if my DC's told exdh to gtf and we never had to see him again. This is a man who allowed his girlfriend attempt to assault our DD and threw our kids out of the house in the early hours of the morning. So yea an Easter egg really makes up for that! Pair of pricks.

CherryDocsInYrBalls · 03/04/2021 23:04

My xh once told me he'd taken his DC out for the day while I was at work. Huge backstory but I checked his Google maps and he was lying because he wanted to present himself in a certain light but it was all BS. Just shrug off whatever lies he's trying to feed you and be glad he's an ex

gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 23:05

@MrsBerthaRochester aw I'm really sorry to hear that. I know that buying her an Easter wouldn't make him father of the year or anything it would have just been the gesture. I appreciate in the great scheme of things dd not receiving an Easter is just trivial x

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gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 23:08

@MrsBerthaRochester

Sorry op it's shit and I don't blame you for feeling sad for your dd. It boils my piss when they think they are number 1 dad's because they "pay" for their kids! I know it is frowned upon on here but I would love it if my DC's told exdh to gtf and we never had to see him again. This is a man who allowed his girlfriend attempt to assault our DD and threw our kids out of the house in the early hours of the morning. So yea an Easter egg really makes up for that! Pair of pricks.
Omg that's shocking!! No amount of Easter eggs could make up for that behaviour. I'm sure once your dc are old enough they'll see through him Thanks
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gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 23:12

@CherryDocsInYrBalls

My xh once told me he'd taken his DC out for the day while I was at work. Huge backstory but I checked his Google maps and he was lying because he wanted to present himself in a certain light but it was all BS. Just shrug off whatever lies he's trying to feed you and be glad he's an ex
Some men are just unbelievable, I don't get the games and little white lies. I'm over it now it's wound me up and dd doesn't even have a clue what's going on. Lesson learnt I won't be allowing it to bother me again, I'll just make sure I make up for his shortcomings so she doesn't feel left out ever x
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gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 23:15

@CherryDocsInYrBalls

Also agree he's lying. The shopping spree never happened. Please Google grey rock method and go as low contact as humanly possible. Narcissists will say anything to cut you down and get you thinking about them, that's what they thrive on. Watch some Stephanie Lyn coaching videos on YouTube she outlines some co-parenting techniques with this kind of damaged personality
I'll have a look at that thank you
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timeisnotaline · 03/04/2021 23:21

Wouldn’t you refuse all Christmas Day contact requests as based on Easter it is too hurtful for a young child to sit there at Christmas and hear her daddy has brought presents for his other children and not her? That’s what happened at Easter, one Easter egg isn’t such a big deal but not ok on Christmas Day. We can see how next Easter goes.

gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 23:43

I'm dreading Christmas if this is how Easter has turned out. Although I'll be a little bit more mentally prepared now after this

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Totallyfedup1979 · 04/04/2021 00:01

The fact he called you psycho tells me everything I need to know. No decent man calls the mother of his child a psycho. It’s simply says more about him than you.

bubblebath62636 · 04/04/2021 00:07

He's a dick.

My DD's dad is useless, but he did buy her an easter egg and gives her some pocket money.

I'd be upset too!

Geppili · 04/04/2021 00:59

He is a total dick.

SunIsComing · 04/04/2021 06:58

I hope you told him his money isn’t enough to pay fir extras so he hasn’t paid towards an Easter egg?

He’s a dick.

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