Partner wants a break

[Beanie14]

Hope someone can offer some advice.

My partner of 3 years and I have been inseparable since we've met. We planned to start a family this year and are in the process of buying a home (in my name) so we can raise our family.
I am currently 12 weeks pregnant. About 3 weeks ago after our private scan at 8 weeks he started distancing himself from me. Was feeling a little overwhelmed and has been furloughed for the last year so lockdown is really getting to him. So I've given him some space, but I've expressed my worry about our relationship that he's not communicating with me and trying to work things out.

The day of our 12 week scan he told me we were a team but then later in the day he told me that he wanted a break!! He said he still loves me and it's not me it's him. Said I mean the world to him. But he needed a few days to think.
So I haven't talked to him and have been going to work and keeping out of the way as we live together. But he's been checking in making sure I'm ok and buying me snacks from the shop and texting me while I'm at work.
This is making me really confused. Does he still love me? Or is this his way of an easy out? Starting with a break and then will just wait until our house has gone through so I can move on alone.
This has come out of the blue, it's like a switch and he's now gone from being attentive and inseparable to not wanting to be with me.
Is he only doing nice things because he's feeling bad?
I'm really scared of the prospect of raising a child alone. This wasn't how it was meant to be, we were supposed to be starting this journey together, I'm scared and anxious too but we were meant to do this together. It's our first baby. I'm scared for my future and my baby.

God I’m sorry, this is such a cruel brutal thing to do to anyone.

How are you holding up?

What a shitty arse hole!

Absolutely disgusting coward he is. I'd have messaged her back and tell her he has a baby on the way! Bet she doesnt know that.

She doesn't know. But what difference does it make. He says he doesn't want to lose me but he isn't fighting to keep me and baby either. I said I'd give him space to figure out his head! I don't know if I can forgive this either so I think I need this time too. I'm hurting so much! I still love him, but I'm not getting him begging to stay with me either only that he doesn't want to lose me. So what exactly am I waiting around for? xx

Don't wait around and Don't allow yourself to be an option. You deserve better.

Oh lordy no, do not lower yourself to being an "option" for this crappy little man. You are going to be someone's mum, you have to find a spine and tell him you arent going to play his manipulative little games.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Do you have good friends and family who can support you through pregnancy and birth, instead?

Very few decent men would date a woman pregnant with someone else's child. He has chosen to wait until you have no options, to make sure he has two. And keep you dangling. If you allow him to do this, this will be the rest of your life.

He has no morals.

You tell her you are pregnant either way, whether you want to keep him or not. Then you decide what you want to do but don't just have him back if she bins him off if it is not what you actually want.

@MrsTerryPratchett

Very few decent men would date a woman pregnant with someone else's child. He has chosen to wait until you have no options, to make sure he has two. And keep you dangling. If you allow him to do this, this will be the rest of your life.

He has no morals.

Nailed it.

He is utter scum.
He could care less about you despite his absolute bullshit.

I think you will see in the future how you were used and played.

I think if you give up YOUR years raising a child with this waster, giving you the run a round, there will come a time that you will wish you had had a termination and severed ALL links with him and given yourself a fresh start.

I feel this very strongly OP.

Scum who could do this to you is not DNA you want a baby with.

You sound like a lovely woman.
I would be devastated if you were my daughter and you were throwing away YOUR freedom to raise the child of such an awful man.

You deserve to move on from this.
YOU CAN move on from this.

@MrsTerryPratchett has spelt it out for you.

This type of bullshit is NEVER accidental.
This is EXACTLY who he is.

Tell her your pregnant and that you having been having sex right up until you found out about her.

Then bin him off, he is a dick

How are you doing Beanie14? Just sending hugs, thinking of you! Things will get better and it'll be like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. You're going to love being a mum, and they'll be no pathetic manchild to look after you can just concentrate on you and the baby. Take care of yourself xx

Oh OP I'm so sorry, a similar thing happened to me too when I was 21 I'm 60 now.
This is your time, time for you and your baby.
I brought my lovely DS up alone and had a career and my own home, you can too.
In fact I can tell you it's so much easier coping with a newborn alone. There is no prick in the background moaning, not pulling his weight or whining about lack of sex.
You can do this and it will be great.
Don't play the pick me game, he just isn't worth it