Clingy partner

[MIAAN]

Hi, so I'm starting to think my partner is clingy. Any time I text him that I'm doing something (cooking, baking or any fun activity) he asks me to facetime him so he can watch. We don't live together so haven't seen much of eachother due to quarantine so naturally he wants to facetime more, however I kind of can't stand facetiming I prefer texting.

Socialising with people drains me and I feel like I need to have alone time in order to recharge. Is this normal?

Anyway, I feel irritated sometimes when it seems that my partner wants to see everything I'm doing. I grew up an only child so I've always been in my own company and enjoyed it. We text all day everyday so I feel like we don't need to facetime.

Would it be wrong of me to refuse facetiming since we text 24/7? Or would this be like setting a boundary?

@Weirdfan thank you for thi, I will be cautious on this!!

@WisnaeMe thank you, we had a long talk and things seem to be okay, I told him I had considered ending things and that I'm going to be cautious, thanks for your support 💕

This gives me very painful memories.

I had this - thought he was just a bit clingy as he 'loved me so much.' I went from being mad about him to a bit irritated when I got another text. Really, it was controlling - he had to keep tabs on me. He began to get more and more manipulative - but it was emotional manipulation - he'd keep messaging me on a girl's night out but just cos he was 'lonely' and 'loved to talk to me so much.' He loved that I cared about him so much that I kept replying.

It got slowly worse and turns out he was really not a nice guy and I am so thankful I got out. It messed me up for some time.

You are introverted. Me too. And that is fine. Tell him your boundaries. If he pushes, straight away, you know he is not a good guy.

I also notice that it is clear that the texting is too much. But it is obvious that you don't want to say that to him as you feel bad. That is your first red flag. Emotional manipulation. Tell him that the constant texting is too much. Tell him a few texts a day is plenty for you. A good (non abusive) man will understand and respect that. See what he says.

I have a very bad feeling. Controlling and abusive men rarely start out 'telling you what to do.' If it wasn't far more slow and subtle, surely less women (intelligent women) would end up in these situations?