Help me. Abusive husband. No support. Threatening to take children away.

[Illhavethecoconutchoc]

He wants to take our children to non-hague country. He said I have caused all the problems and I don't deserve to be part of the family. It is my fault. I have left them down and I don't have their interest at heart. All because of a petty grocery order. I'll wake up and they will all be gone. What do I do? How have I got myself in this situation? I feel sick. Please don't tag me.

Can you get hold of the children's passports and hide them as a first step? Then I would suggest getting in touch with Women's Aid for further advice.

You phone women's aid and the police.

Hide the passports, destroy them if necessary.

Op definitely speak to women’s aid. Does he ever go out so that you could get advice from a family solicitor? They will be able to advise on how to prevent the dc from being able to leave the country.

Contact GlobalArrk on facebook. Don't panic. Is there anyone at all where you are, who can help you?

If I thought someone was going to take my children out of the country I'd call the police and the passport office, too. I'd want to stop that being possible.

Have a look at this advice from Citizens' Advice.

If your dc have phones install a tracker app. And report passports as lost /stolen. Contact airports etc via email. Report his threats to the police. Any abuse report online every single time. Slowly build a case against him.

Bear in mind it will be pretty difficult for him to get them out of the country right now, which he may or may not be aware of. However, first call is to the police so that the Border authorities are aware and yes absolutely get the passports out of the house.

It sounds like you at least half believe that he's right that you deserve to lose your children forever. This is not true. You need to get away from him urgently.

Would he be able to apply for passports for them from this non-hague country without your input?

I wouldn't rely on just hiding their passports. Make sure the police put a stop to anyone travelling with those passports.

Also hide their birth certs , depending where he is from he could obtain passports for them from his country.

All documents are locked away and he has the key. He is always here. Work from home. Im never on my own. Everything is delivered.Only leaves to drop children to childminders. They are babies. Yes, dual passport holders.

I'm in shock. This has slowly crept up on me. You would never guess if you met me.

Okay so you need the police to put a stop on those passports. Even if that means going whilst he's taking the children to the childminder (do you work? If not, why are they going to the childminder? If yes, can you invent a business meeting?).

Follow the advice on the CAB page @HollowTalk linked to, and contact GlobalArrk as @PersimmonTree suggests, you can do those without leaving the house. I would also consider asking someone to go to the police for you.

Thank you. Yes. I work in a professional role but office is closed at the moment. Thank goodness, money is not a problem if I get out. At the moment every penny is scrutinised. How to I pay for legal advice if I don't want it to show on bank statements? I will look at the websites, thank you for flagging as I wasn't aware of globalark.

Can you have a message ready to send to a friend if need be? When my exh kicked off I managed to ring a friend before he ripped the phone wires (before mobile phones). She had the sense to send the police. You can also register with the police to use their 999 text service I believe incase you can't call /speak..

It is so ridiculous. I have good work colleagues but no close friends. It was always so difficult to see them, and I suppose it just slipped. I have been such a fool. I'm just so scared. I will look into the police registration. He says he will make me disappear, that 10years in prison is nothing. I don't think I ever truly believed him, or wanted to believe someone I love and trusted could be like that.

Is he here on a visa? That's terrifying, that he says he could make you disappear.

I think I'd contact Women's Aid and ask for help.

Where are you op? Can one of us call the police for you? You need to get you and your babies safe ASAP

He says he will make me disappear, that 10years in prison is nothing. I don't think I ever truly believed him, or wanted to believe someone I love and trusted could be like that.

So you don’t gamble now. Believe him now.

Get out and away with the babies at the first available opportunity.

You are a domestic abuse victim so you can get free advice under legal aid, but you need to be ready to just throw things in a bag and go.

Once you are out and have the children with you everything else can be sorted. Injunctions, new documents and so on. Having decent finances will really help.

www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/making-a-safety-plan/

Has he been violent previously op? If you are scared for your or your childrens safety tonight you neee to call the police. Can you text someone who could contact them for you?
If you are not immediately in danger, who drops the children to the childminders? How long does it take? Would you having a day at the office look suspicious. You need to talk to womens aid who can plan to safely get you away.

Where are you? Which country? Is there any way to escape from the house with the kids. Could you call the police (I would)

Take the kids shopping and don't go back.

OP please get out now. Find where your local women’s refuge is and take the kids and go. Everything else can be sorted later but you need to get somewhere safe for now.