Help me. Abusive husband. No support. Threatening to take children away.

[Illhavethecoconutchoc]

He wants to take our children to non-hague country. He said I have caused all the problems and I don't deserve to be part of the family. It is my fault. I have left them down and I don't have their interest at heart. All because of a petty grocery order. I'll wake up and they will all be gone. What do I do? How have I got myself in this situation? I feel sick. Please don't tag me.

Could someone at work help? You said you had good colleagues. I once worked with a woman who was being abused - I found out a couple of years later and wished she had confided in one of us. I would never have betrayed her trust. Could there be someone at work who could be trusted?

A lot of police forces have live online chat. Can you try contacting them that way?

christ this is bad, please take advice OP, these posters are very knowledgeable 🌸

Hi OP I hope you are ok.

I was in your shoes. He has taken the child and still has him 2 years later. It is horrific and soul destroying. Within these two years he has damaged our DS to the core and trained him to abuse me and others and shadow his father's behaviours. I have lost the child.

Please please use all help available get children and leave.

PP mentioned getting prohibitive step order in place and no contact until court hearing. I wish every day I had done it. But at the time I couldn't think straight and felt I would be a horrible person for limiting DS's contact with his father. How wrong was I.

Please learn from others mistakes so that you can save the kids from all this.

@Lena007 That’s awful. I hope you get the chance to rectify some of the damage he has done.

You could maybe say you need to go to the shops when he is working and childern are with their nanny? Then go in there and take them with you to refugee? I would inform as many people as you can about the sutiation, including her. You will be surprised how many people will understand and will want to help you.

First point of contact would be women's aid. They can help you to find emergency accommodation and provide mental support. Please reach out, it is a massive help.

If he takes kids and he is on their birth certificate even police will not do a single thing. I have been through this. He is allowed to take them and as long as he has parental rights there is nothing you can do.
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The only thing you can do is to take them first. It is horrible but that's the way this system works.*

I have taken DS with me when moving out. Then I was stupid and naive enough to let ExH to speak to DS for 2 minutes without court order in place, he said he just wanted to make sure DS is okay. He has actually grabbed DS and took him into his car and drove away. That was it.

Talk to Women's Aid and make an exit plan. Ask the police to help you leave. If you think he's about to take them out of the country, you can ask for an All Ports Alert to stop it. Look at the Reunite website. I know it all feels over dramatic, but do what you need to do to get out and worry about the rest later. (Been there. You can get out of this).