Thinking of leaving DH for this reason...

[Umberellal]

I imagine I may get flamed for this but hear me out.
My husband has gained an awful lot of weight, at last check, his BMI was 38; I have been told that he has always been quite large, apart from when he met me, after he'd lost 6 stone. I didn't know how big he'd been previously for quite some time after we had met, but it didn't bother me when I found out.
I'd always been quite slim (until after marriage) around a size 10-12 at my heaviest.
I am now a size 16- perhaps now a 14, I've been bigger than this since marriage. DH works away and is currently away. He will be away for sometimes weeks at a time. This time it has been around 5 weeks and he's due home next week.
In 5 weeks, I've lost over 1 stone, this regularly happens when he's away as I eat healthily and have no temptations around. Then he comes home again and I pile it all back on. It's a repeated pattern. This time, I've reduced my BMI to 31.5 and I am desperate to get out of the "obese" zone for the sake of my health.
I am absolutely dreading him returning home. I have spoken to him several times about healthier lifetsyles and not bringing junk foods into the house or eating them around me so that I can continue being healthy, but my pleas are unheard. I think DH is addicted to food, but he does not think he has a problem.
I am now considering leaving him. If I mention my feelings around his eating, he accuses me of bullying him about his size, and that just isn't the case at all.
I know DH is not at fault for my weight at all, but I am clearly heavily influenced by his relationship with food and I really do not want to be.
I already have health issues, am at risk of type 2 diabetes after having gestational diabetes and I just don't want this behavior around me anymore.
It has got to a point where I do not want him to come home.
I think I'm looking for assurance, that it's ok for me to leave him because of this?

If you have fallen out of love with him then leave.

I absolutely understand what you are going through op and you have my sympathies

I met my now dh over 5 years ago. Before I met him I was always a healthy bmi. I've put on nearly 4 stone and in the obese category, since meeting him. I could cry, quite honestly and I'm disgusted at myself, I weighed myself again today abs I've put another on on.. My dh is the same as yours. Suggests take aways all the time, will come home with bags of treats, cakes, crisps, chocolate, fresh bread mostly unhealthy food. I try and meal plan, I do the shopping but he'll nip to the shops on the way home. I've been on a constant diet for the last 4 years, which lasts for a few weeks or months and then I slip. He will support me for a time but then the constant, shall we have a takeaway, let's have x for dinner, fancy and drink seeps in. My dietician asked me to write down who sabotages my diet, and it's him.

I love him so for me it's not relationship ending, but I've started to dread lockdown swing lifted as I don't want to see people, I'm so embarrassed by the way I look. It's soul destroying.

@harknesswitch I've been avoiding some friends for the same reason I was a healthy weight for years but after having the DC and with zero help/ support from DP, I'm just embarrassed by how big I am!

Same as yours, mine won't offer to help with any healthy cooking, planning, organising... it's hard work to drag him out for exercise and I fear he's passing his habits on to the DC. But I have no idea how to get him to change

OP, you can leave for any reason you like.

And as much as others are saying he’s allowed to bring what he likes into your home and eat it, what about you having a partner that supports you, wants to be affectionate/have sex with you etc. He sounds like he’s not even trying to engage with what you want, so there’s no chance of any compromise.
It’s ok for you to want a different life and break up with him.