Financially mismatched

[Oaktree123]

My bf of two years and I have very different finances and financial attitudes. I'm very much a saver, live within my means (I've done both minimum wage and well paid jobs, I never overspend), I've got a home a mortgage, not wealthy but comfortable. Always worked and saved.

Bf is also 40s divorced with kids. He spends all his (higher salary) on rent, bills, maintenance to exW and other 'things'. Both he and his exW seem to be quite 'relaxed' with money, both have loans and credit cards only paying the minimum repayable. She chooses not to work (teenage kids, so she could) and asks bf to pay extra when she overspends, he usually pays it even though he's also in debt.

Back to bf - he has no savings. He lives month to month despite earning a decent salary. Rents so no equity. If I were in his situation I'd be very stressed, sometimes he is, but then he goes out and buys patio furniture, a bbq, a new watch, whatever he fancies. Puts it on the credit card and pays 20% interest because he's already got lots on the credit card. These debts have been going on years.

For us to ever progress he would have to live in my house. It hasn't been discussed recently, but has in the past. I love him but I feel we are incredibly mismatched in our financial attitudes. He likes nice things, as does his exW. Has anyone been in a relationship like this? I would never want to end up like his 'mum' telling him not to buy things while he has debt. But realistically, he and I will always be very mismatched.

As far as I can tell there's only 2 reasons to live together.

1. A trial marriage - to see if you are compatible before you do actually marry.
2. For both parties to benefit financially.

As you don't meet that criteria, i'm puzzled and trying to work out what your reason for living with him would be.

Thanks for all the comments. Although it's been mentioned occasionally, we have no plans to live together anytime soon. As his debts have only recently come to light, as well as his spending habits, its something I've only really thought about recently.

Thankfully he actually hasn't chased living together, so hopefully that means he's not with me for material reasons, I guess that could change in the future though if he lost his job etc, he would have no money to pay his rent as he has no savings!

I definitely need to consider all this.

Definitely don't move in or share finances.
My exh was on 4 times my salary, but still managed to get into debt. His attitude was I could be dead tommorow. A few years down the line I have my own place, managed to save & have also savings accounts for the kids. My ex on the other hand has mortgaged himself up to the hilt to clear off other debts ( which he racks up again)because of the current situation he is partially furloughed & may have to sell the family home. He has no provision or thought for the kids & probably will never stop spending. Apparently according to my step children he left their mum in debt.
The point is when someone is in this mindset, you can't change them. Protect your assets or you'll be dragged down with him. I'm betting he's a bit of a charmer too?