advice needed

[missydee17]

advice please

I, 35f 2 boys to previous partner and my bf 38 been together a year , very happy, live separate.. bf wants us to have baby together which i’m happy about but i feel it’s better to live together first ( i need that commitment before baby ) but he doesn’t want to move in yet ( family commitment ) but said a baby would be his excuse to move out. he’s always upset when i say we need forget about baby until we are together as a family and u feel awful , he says ‘ it’s obv not written for me’ things are perfect with us and i’d love him to move in but i think he’s scared to give up his home and move out. but a baby is a bigger step surely ? help ! no bad comments please.. x

thank you everyone appriciate the advice

He wants a baby with you so he can have an excuse to leave his other situation??? The hill are that way ------->>>>>> run fast.

he looks after family so they don't go into care. his grandparent. even tho they have family all over no one helps

Will the grandparent suddenly get better and not need care if you have a baby?

then the family will have to step in

Sorry Op but this sounds like a right mess. Best thing to do is walk away and find someone much better for you

@missydee17

I'm afraid the family will not step in....

I'm afraid he does not want you all to be a 'family unit'...........

I'm afraid he does not want to marry you...........

I'm afraid he does not even want to live with you...........

All his ''one day, we'll.........'' are all empty promises !

Just don't. He should be able to commit, before you put his child in the world.
Why does he need an excuse to move ? Does he take care of elderly and frail parents ? If so, what once you have the child ? Do family commitments stop because you gave birth ?
It does not add up !
Please do not invest in this man, he does not invest in you

Sorry, posted before I saw there was a second page to this.
So he takes care of hin grandfather, but if nobody else steps in now, you would have to wait till he passes away. You can't live your life like that.
Good luck.