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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Facebook friends ARGHH!!!

34 replies

SelinaS · 21/03/2021 12:12

So not too sure what to do really, dont think its a huge dilemma but its kind of dare I say immature. I have a friend lets call her Diana, well she was a friend who ended up being very toxic, nasty and incredibly two faced and a group of us had to take her off facebook as well as end our friendships with her too, which we all agreed was the right thing to do. Diana is just nasty and a very bitter person, she is still friends with one of our girls in the group, (lets call her Sarah) who refuses to let her go, we are all not too sure why she still wants to be friends with her, but its her choice of course. However a few of us, commented on one of our friend's Sarah's post, which was just about dog walking really as we all have dogs and she text me to say, can you take the post off as Diana will be nasty about it and it will all get messy and I cant go through that drama. To which I said thats fine but does this mean we can never comment on anything you put on there for fear of what Diana will say, she said yes. So my question here is, what is the best option? She is so lovely Sarah and known her for years at school but seems to be at this other Diana's beck and call and wont allow any of us to comment but sill texts us behind her back. This seems like we are back at school.. all seems a tad petty really and this is getting kind of awkward? Any suggestions or just leave as it is...The joys of facebook lol!!

OP posts:
Sstrongtn · 21/03/2021 19:49

Well what did you actually comment, was it “nice dog”, or “fuck me that dogs arse looks like Diana’s face?”

Because I can’t see how she can “kick off” at a comment, or why it would “get nasty” unless you all pile in across social media?

I don’t like the sound of you all “agreeing” to block this woman or the fact you’ve asked Sarah why she doesn’t/won’t.

It all sound a bit mean girls, and like you need to go out and get a job or a worthwhile pastime...

Brefugee · 22/03/2021 07:17

or, you could tell Sarah that if she doesn't want all her friends seeing all her posts, or all her friends' comments on it, that she investigate how to restrict her audience, which is very easy and a brilliant function.

FlyingBurrito · 22/03/2021 07:21

Is there a reason that you haven't blocked Diana?

Lovelydiscusfish · 22/03/2021 07:33

Either delete Sarah (you can still keep being friends with her in RL) or do as she asks and just stop commenting on her stuff.

It sounds like Sarah is in thrall to Diana, poor thing. But there’s not a lot you can do about that - she ultimately has to make the decision to walk away.

I think the comments suggesting you need to delete Facebook are a bit harsh, by the way. If someone was being mean to me over text, for example, would that mean I had to dissolve my phone in acid? If I had friendship problems at work, should I immediately quit my job? The problem here is with the people involved, not the platform itself.....

Silenceisgolden20 · 22/03/2021 07:58

Deleting Facebook is such a relief though. It will change your life.

MichelleScarn · 22/03/2021 07:58

What exactly was the context of the post? As am sure you'll have posted on her fb before for Diana to see, so why this post, why now?
It does sound very Mean Girls you all had a pow wow and decided Diana was excommunicated!

harknesswitch · 23/03/2021 08:06

Unfriendly Sarah. No point having her in fb if you can't talk to her

CaptainVanesHair · 23/03/2021 14:50

If you all block Diana she can’t actually see anything you post and vice versa. Surely that’s the simplest option?

Instamaticgreenery · 23/03/2021 22:12

@Marineboy67

"Why don't you just switch off your Facebook and go do something less boring instead oh why don't you go go go " remember the theme tune, Saturday morning tv late 70's
I loved this! Why don't you! It was the tv back then though, simple days.
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