Wedding a month away should I still get married

[Charlotte271993]

Why am I so scared to get married? I'm scared that I'm making the wrong choice? Maybe it's just my own insecurities, I've never really had any close friends that have stayed with me and it eats me up. My cousin felt sorry for me before and tried to include in her friendship group and they were so nice but I still felt like an outsider and not a true friend, just their friend's cousin tbh. Like now I'm on annual leave, I don't have anyone else to talk to apart from my future husband and sister in law. The reason why I decided to marry him is because his family is so lovely, he is the most caring person I have never met, truthfully, he's the only person that has ever known me inside out, for my mental health issues and past trauma. I've been with guys in the past who have never really understood me mentally and my history of depression. I've been on antidepressants which changed my life but I haven't been on them for almost a year as I didn't want to rely on them anymore, prior to the medication a few years ago i was suicidal. I know all of his trauma inside out. He is my best friend, he's not the tallest guy or best looking but his other qualities are too good to overlook. I love the way he looks at me, i love how loved he makes me feel. I love that he's taken his time with me and made sacrifices for me. He's got a good job and is so ambitious and plans ahead financially. Whenever I'm down, I go to see him and he makes me happy again. So why am I still worried? Maybe its because he's also so introverted and doesn't feel like he needs friends, doesn't really feel the need to go to parties etc , maybe I'm scared our social life will just be us but even if I was with an outgoing guy I couldn't really expect his friends to be mine..i think it's my own securities. I'm due to get married very soon, can I have some opinions on this.. Its eating me up inside.

Of course a person has to tick your boxes, and I'm not saying that you shouldn't use your head. It just seems that you're using your head to the extent that it's causing this slightly wrong feeling in you.

In comparing your relationship to 'what dating has become', you are again using a tick box comparison to judge whether your relationship compares ok with 'normal'. But there is no normal, and it's totally irrelevant 'what dating has become'. You're not dating. You don't decide who to marry based on looking at checklist before you decide to talk to them and take it further, so I'm not sure what you think the comparison even is, here.

If you do insist on the checkbox approach, despite the fact that you are not quite comfortable emotionally, bear in mind that he's not ticking all your boxes, either.

I'd say you have too many boxes that you think he needs to tick, when you should be learning how to tick lots of them yourself before marrying anybody.

I’ve had counselling. I didn’t find it useful as I already knew what my issues were and talk to dh and Family about them. However, perhaps you will feel it’s beneficial for self discovery.
I felt I was only mature to get married in my 30s , in my 20s I wasn’t self aware enough.
Are you worried you’ll end up in a bad marriage like your parents? That can cause cold feet, I felt similar.
I worry when you are asked about being in love - rather than just saying yes, you’re almost listing reasons why like you’re trying to convince us/yourself. He sounds lovely and it’s great you love being around him but forever is a long time so it’s not worth rushing. Don’t do it because of covid. Can’t you do a wedding abroad in the future and that way most people won’t attend due to distance etc or just do a small wedding and blame costs or just your preference. I wouldn’t be offended if a friend or family member had a tiny wedding and I wasn’t invited - when I realised that it was literally their immediate family and best friend or something.