Hi, just needed some prespective.
I have been dating a single dad for more than a year. We met through friends and from the beginning - it was obvious that we were not just hooking up or casual and it was going to be long term. We have three children between ranging from the age of 6-to-teenage. Because we are both full time single parents ( I am a widow and his ex lives in USA) we ended up introducing the children very quickly and due to lockdown were thrown into a 'blended family scenario' a little bit too early for both our liking but hey ho it happened.
I somehow or other ended up being his 'fall guy' very quickly and helping him in childcare. cooking , cleaning , emotional support person. A few times I pointed out that he is not picking up as much of the work as I was doing ( we still live separately but near enough) but it was always met with excuses of being tired or being a bit busy.
Fast forward to a lovely family christmas that we had together and then a few family birthdays.
However- I have reecently found out two things and somehow or other I cannot get over them.
- He has still not introduced me publicly as his girlfriend/ his ex and family know nothing about me. Neither do his friends or the children's friends. I threw a massive tantrum at this and he is fixing it albeilt slowly and I am still not sure how committed he is to the process.
- Our first Valentine's day passed- he knows I am into big gestures, celebbrations and marking occasions. And following it was our first anniversary. He did not put any effort into recognising or celebrating both of these. ( even after reminders and not so very subtle hints) After I pointed it out and actually threatened to break up- he promised me 'that he will sort out- he will make it up to me- just wait baby' but so far nothing has happened -other than a verbal apology and lots of excuses about how busy he is.
He says there is alot of baggage from his past relationship and I think he is still heart broken from his divorce.
I cannot get these two things out of my mind and am seriously doubting his investment in our relationship.
Am I over-reacting ? I do love him still but seriously confused whether he is.