Just been dumped by text, hand hold needed.

[Hurtandheartbroken123]

Been with a guy for perhaps 18 months now. Very intense relationship, looking back there was love bombing at the beginning from his side but things quickly calmed down and we got into a less intense pattern as time went on. Things seemed great, and over the past month we had been talking more about the future and what we'd like to do post lockdown. Started planning a trip together and talking about potentially moving in if things were still going well at the end of the year.

Last night he told me he loved me, had never loved anyone like he loved me, was excited for our future etc etc. He's not very good with words so this was a special moment between us. I told him I felt the same, everything was good.

This morning I received a text message saying he wanted to break up. No other woman apparently, he just doesn't want to carry on the relationship. Says it's not me it's him blah blah. I tried to call but he won't answer and says it's best to end it now. He doesn't want to hurt me but feels it's best to end things now before they get too deep. Maybe our talk of the future scared him but I'm fucking heartbroken and so hurt at the way he ended it.

He says he's doesn't want to be friends and would rather we don't talk again. I've asked him seriously if there is another woman on the scene and he says no.

I need a handhold badly as I live alone, supposed to be working from home today but feel rotten. Can't stop crying.

I'm 32. Please tell me this gets better.

Hi OP, my last bf did this. Together a year, said I was the love of his life, friends and family were sure we'd get married, lovely and attentive. Then the last month he started picking arguments over silly things, and finally one day he was supposed to help me move - he didn't show up, no message. Had no idea where he was. And hours later texted to say he couldn't do it anymore. Sorry. Refused to discuss it on the phone. I was devastated.

He called a week later to explain, some utterly BS excuse he managed to turn around on me, that I'd been cold and distant and he couldn't deal with it. I think he hoped I'd beg to get back together and work on myself. Nonsense. I bid him goodbye. We never spoke again.

My take on it was he was an insecure, self absorbed twat and wanted to use the break up to make me insecure and manipulate me into doing whatever he wanted. He would have got kicks out of me begging to stay with or calling him crying to work things out. Weirdo. And while I was crushed at the time as I really loved him, I realised it was a lucky escape. It's scary he hid it for as long as he did. So I think he had some kind of MH issue (he did do therapy to manage social anxiety) because who TF behaves this way. It's been 18 months of no contact and I'm now dating someone who seems much more sane. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still worried he'll do the same but I really think that guy was just a freak. He'd had similar abrupt breakups with ALL his gfs.

Don't reply to this loser or get back with him. The way he broke up, especially after telling you he loves you means he's unreliable and an emotional fucktard. Lucky escape! You will absolutely meet someone lovely again. And till then you'll live a peaceful life without this piece of toxic landfill. I'd block him if you can, that way you won't constantly check your phone to see if he's messaged. If he has something urgent to say he can use carrier pigeon.

@BibbityBobbety, well said !
And I'm glad you're in a better place. Good for you telling your ex where to go.
I think that when they do this, it's to leave the door open. They're either not man enough to end it or think if they leave you hanging on, they can pop back for some TLC at a later date, when they're bored.

You deserve better. People shouldn’t say they love someone and then end it the next day. That’s wrong and he obviously has serious issues with himself. It’s selfish to do that so look for someone not so selfish

BibbityBobbety
Yeah these men are selfish and arrogant. They want to manipulate women and bring them down.

What a coward not to tell you in person. You will be better off without him OP. I adored a man I was with for about 18 months and he dumped me by letter saying "that things were really busy at the farm and he wasn't sure when he would be free" Cold feet, I think because his son was playing up. Never forgotten or forgiven though!

Are you sure it was his mum he had to leave a call with you to go and speak to immediately? Sounds more like a wife. That might be the gut feeling you're getting, you may have been an unintentional affair partner. Wouldnt be the first or last either. Him suddenly cutting contact is probably because she found out.

Ignore any messages from him, or better yet just block him. He's a knobhead either way.