Do many of your friends have HIGH Self Worth?

[Oblomov21]

Just speculating. Lying in bed pondering...... Do you have many friends with high self worth?

I found this article:
selfworth

I have 2. My other 3 friends are struggling with anxiety. But this is understandable because it's covid related.

I was talking to my mum about this. Is HIGH Self Worth uncommon? Do people just not talk about it, because it doesn't require talking about?

On MN there seems to be huge anxiety. I don't know if that's reflective of RL, but I suppose people post threads about their anxiety because they need help and support. If you don't need help, you don't post, which explains why people don't post about high self worth. It might appear conceited or cocky.

Covid hasn't affected me as badly as some others. We are fortunate enough to have had an easier ride with home schooling because both teens have just got on with it. I have wonder at those who home schooled young ones, because I don't think I'd have had the patience.

I am respectful enough to have sympathy for 2 of my closest friends who are very anxious at the moment, because their situation is very difficult and one of them I don't even know how she's managing. I'd never noticed her anxiety much in the 10 years we've been friends, but covid had tested her, Christ I'm sure I would've buckled before now!

We all try and teach our children to have Confidence and self worth. But some just don't, they are just anxious, whether that is nature v nurture, who knows.

Is self worth uncommon? Do you have good self worth and thus find all / most of your friends do too? Because like attracts like?

Or do you have it and notice that not many others do, but it doesn't bother you or effect you, but you've noticed it?

Does self worth go hand in hand with self esteem then?
I noticed that alot of women in my life will put up with behaviours from their partners that are unacceptable.
It's so hard to be objective when you are involved in a relationship and there are feelings involved though.
I'd like to say i have self worth but then again I've just posted a thread about my bf who I've known for a while isn't right for me yet I'm still hanging on so who knows??

Thanks interesting article.

I once told my friend I wished I was someone else and asked her if she had ever felt that and she said that no, she likes being her. She has had depression and other issues so it is not that her mental health is perfect. She just wouldn't want to be anyone else. I was amazed by that. I thought everyone would have felt like me.

I can't answer directly, but it was a bit depressingly eye opening recently there was a thread on here started by a lady who clearly was very confident and high self worth, and the reaction from so many posters on here was shocking, how strongly other women were policing a fellow lady who was somehow getting above their station.
I think anxiety is common, and i think the messages especially girls and women get from all around them their whole life are to blame for creating those conditions.

@johnd2

I can't answer directly, but it was a bit depressingly eye opening recently there was a thread on here started by a lady who clearly was very confident and high self worth, and the reaction from so many posters on here was shocking, how strongly other women were policing a fellow lady who was somehow getting above their station. I think anxiety is common, and i think the messages especially girls and women get from all around them their whole life are to blame for creating those conditions.

You are so right, how many times have we heard 'she loves herself' as a negative!! Or 'she needs taken down a peg or 2' because they are confident We can't win!!

I would have said I have high self worth. I think very positively about myself, I like my own company, I don’t feel uncomfortable walking into a room of people I don’t know and making conversation, I forgive myself for mistakes I make and I don’t sweat the small stuff. I believe I’m good at my job, a good mum and dog owner and a nice person.

I don’t believe in a higher power, I sing like a strangled cat (doesn’t stop me, I like to sing!) and I tend to want to fix people’s problems.

I have found lockdown hard. I’m bored. I want to go out walking, camping, for dinner. The frustration and boredom has made me angry and weepy and I want it to stop now. I don’t see this as a failing. I still like myself, I just accept that I’m not hugely happy at the moment due to something beyond my control... I’m practicing patience!

I have a mix of friends, those who are comfortable in their own skin and those who are not. I don’t think high self worth is rare but it’s certainly not as widespread as it ought to be!

I don't know if it's unccommon, but most of my friends (and myself) have high self worth and self esteem.
I think it comes from our upbringing.
As an only child, my father used to stress that I could do anything if I put the effort in, that my opinion had no less value (no more either) than anyone elses. I was not raised gender-neutral (didn't even exist in the sixties/seventies), but all things boys could do I was allowed as well, which was not common in those days.
I was allowed to do university studies and now have a job with authority in a male dominated activity (demolition).
In my view, self worth comes from being raised to dare speak up, to learn to be independent, resilient, to be your own person and not be a victim.
This doens't mean my friends or I are cocky insensitive people. With self-worth also comes a kind of being strong in order to help other people get by.
Self-worth mat be one of the most important things you can learn children. From what you say you did a good job.
(sorry for spelling/grammar mistakes, I am not a native english speaker)

Interesting article, yes, I consider I have high self worth, I am perfectly happy in my own skin (I recognise my shortcomings but don't let them define me), very happy in my own company. Always amazes me on Mumsnet the amount of angst about attending events (usually weddings) that people don't want to - why is it so hard to send a polite 'no thanks'?

I genuinely don't mind being on my own, a couple of years ago my DH & DS wanted to go skiing at Christmas- I don't like skiing and happily stayed home alone but the amount of comments I got about it was ridiculous ... people calling my DH selfish etc .... I had a very, very happy time on my own .

I do have a faith as mentioned in the article, I don't consider I am zealous in my religious beliefs, one of my closest friends was surprised to find I was a regular church attender, but I like the quiet and supportive 'rhythm' it gives to my life.

As a PP said I think a lot of self worth depends on having a happy, stable and supportive upbringing- which I was very fortunate to have and hope I can give to my own DS.

I have high self-worth. I describe myself as a self-important, arrogant twat because that makes me laugh. I like myself, simple as that, almost especially when I make mistakes as that's when I need self-comfort. I hope (believe) that this helps other people too though, as I have the resources to listen, be kind, encourage them to have fun and look forward. Like PP I attribute my self-worth to my upbringing but also to a series of terrible events in my life which I survived and learned from. I'm a much nicer person than I was because I learned humility in addition to self-worth.

Lockdown is self esteem the same as self worth? What's the difference? I just assumed it was the same thing.

I feel very similar to Peace. I'm comfortable in my skin, and I'm fed up of covid now.

I have very high self worth, very high self esteem, am very happy with my life and yet had a serious mental health crisis last year. I did recover well which is maybe thanks to the self worth etc I guess. I was diagnosed with GAD which had never really reared its head before.

I did have a lovely, safe and happy upbringing.

People are complex.

I agree with Fantastic and Ragwort that the basis of my self worth comes from coming from a loving family.

My mum says I was content, had inner confidence. She also describes me as stoic. I was diagnosed as a diabetic aged one and it actually is a pretty awful disease - infiltrates your life many many many times per day. But I just got on with it and my mum always told me that there was nothing I couldn't do and I spend a lot time with my brothers out building dens and sliding down rope swings into piles of mud etc.

I only hope I have given this strength to ds's. Actually I already know I have, because they are both very comfortable in their own skin.

Hmmm, there’s such a fine line between being self-confident and having good self-esteem, and being arrogant and superior. “high self worth” veers more towards the latter, imo.

It also sounds a bit fragile - as having a “value” attached - calling it “worth” - means that could go up or down.

Also I think it behoves all of us to self-examine, behaviour wise. That does not mean going over every little thing and fretting about it (which I do!) but being aware of others and how a “sorted” attitude could come across as unempathetic or condescending.

I think they are good at pretending.

I agree wishing. It is complex.

I had a horrendous experience 6 years ago, when they threatened to take my boys, and they had to stay with my sil until the case was resolved. It's only because my parents are retired social workers that they complained, and also helped and it thus only took 4 months.

Damage has been done to me. But all my friends are still shocked that I didn't fall apart. I do have strength. But don't underestimate the damage done.

Self worth, strength, MH, it's all a very complex thing.

Who is pretending Ohio?
Fantastic and others are quite open about their mistakes and failings. No shame in admitting your inadequacies aswell. Is that pretending? Not everyone needs to wear a mask.

Lear Continued self analysis and constantly working on my rough edges, admitting my failings, keeps me grounded.
I don't think I've ever slipped over into the cocky and arrogant side.

@Oblomov21

One of my children has type one diabetes and it is such a difficult condition to live with. I wish every day that I could take it from her. That probably sounds blasé but just to say that to cope with it as you have takes a lot of strength and character. It is something I wouldn't have understood as much before.

I get confused about self esteem, self confidence and self worth. I feel like I have one (or two) of those things but completely lack another (or others).

I wouldn't wish to be anyone but myself, though I might wish for example that I had someone else's success or luck or ability in a certain area, but as a person I am quite happy with who I am. I know my faults and I will admit them and do my best to overcome them. There is a lot I like about myself and I think I'm a pretty cool person on the whole.

At the same time, I doubt myself a lot. Even if I know that I'm good at something, or perhaps even better at it than others, I still have this feeling that they know better than I do and that I am probably wrong, despite knowing that I'm not. I don't know if that makes any sense at all.

I've also let myself be strung along by men and had my heart inevitably broken. I don't understand how I can think I'm great in some ways but then be like this.

It definitely gets easier as you get older. And it's easiest if you have nothing to do with men !

I cannot think of anyone who can say yes to all ten.

I read the article and can say yes to all ten.

I might read it again as i feel I have more work to do on building self esteem but I can genuinely agree, at least in some part, to all of them. I have never seen self worth described like that really.

Yes all my friends have high self worth and self confidence. In fact everyone I know seems to...except me 🙄😂
Must just be perception, and how they present themselves, I don't believe this is actually the case