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Original poster

Divorce - Financial Settlement what’s likely

66 replies

Cantwaittomoveon · 11/03/2021 14:54

Hi Everyone,
First post for me, just need some advice and support on what’s likely to happen in upcoming divorce. Here’s the story, we’ve been married for 25yrs, DH has had enough, if I’m honest it’s been dead for years and he’s just been waiting for the kids to grow up. I’m scared as DH manages all the finances, bills, cars etc.

My biggest worry is what sort of financial settlement I’ll get.
Me 57yrs old, income £35k pa, £30k pension pot
DH 53yrs old, income £65k pa, £350k pension pot
We have a large house worth £700k With £200k Mortgage left
Children 18 and 21 one working other at uni.
Is the split likely to be 50/50 or can I push for more?
Thank you....

OP posts:
beatingheart3 · 11/03/2021 15:05

50/50 seems reasonable based on what you have put. Kids grown up, you have a decent income and you would get a big chunk of the house if he doesn’t want to give half his pension up.

Original poster
Cantwaittomoveon · 11/03/2021 15:19

Thanks beatingheart3, would be entitled to 50/50 of his pension too, as mine is a small pot having not worked for a number of years previously.

OP posts:
beatingheart3 · 11/03/2021 15:21

Yes 50/50 on everything usually given now long you were together.

It may be that you can offset though. He keeps his pension, you keep more of the equity in the house. Be careful on just agreeing to that though. No good having a big house and no income in retirement!

Original poster
Cantwaittomoveon · 11/03/2021 15:25

Thanks again, lots to think about...

OP posts:
oldfatandtired1 · 11/03/2021 15:29

That’s a big old pension pot he’s got compared to your tiny one. You’ve had a long marriage so I’d be going for equality of income in retirement. Also - what type of pension is it? If it’s final salary it’s likely to be worth much more so an actuary’s report would be a good idea.

Original poster
Cantwaittomoveon · 11/03/2021 15:39

Thanks oldfatandtired, yes it’s a local government one. I’m starting to learn more about their pension splitting and how this may be better for me. For me than cash.
As you’d imagine DH not particularly happy about offering up any of the pension.
I’d hoped for an overall split in my favor as I’m older less income, so less time to recoup.

OP posts:
harknesswitch · 11/03/2021 15:44

50/50 seems reasonable as your dc are almost adults. That includes everything, house equity, pensions, savings etc. If there is a big difference in car values and any other high value items could be taken into account, such as motorbikes etc.

He could agree to give you a % of his pension and take half the equity for example, so you'll get pension 'shares' that will be a normal pension for you to add to yours.

As other pp have said, no point having a large house of you don't have any income come pension time

beatingheart3 · 11/03/2021 15:44

When I got divorced I favoured an approach that would not lead to long lasting animosity although my children were a bit younger so I agreed 50/50 and it has worked out well. I’ll bet he doesn’t want to give up his pension.

Income in retirement is really important. The £350k will be the transfer value then?

Problem with pensions is it can still leave you a bit out of control so most people prefer a clean break and often accept more equity in the house. Presumably you plan to sell that ?

Original poster
Cantwaittomoveon · 11/03/2021 15:54

Thanks all, yes the £350k is the cash equivalent value. As for other assets we each have a car of similar value paid out right which we’ll probably keep respectively. No other high value assets.
Yes definitely selling the house.
If he moves out before it’s sold does that have a bearing on things? I’m pretty sure there’s someone else involved.

OP posts:
ivfbeenbusy · 11/03/2021 15:59

mine is a small pot having not worked for a number of years previously

How many is a "number" of years? Personally I don't think it's fair for him to give you 50% of his pension if you only had a couple of years out of the workplace and just because he has the better job/made better long term provisions?

harknesswitch · 11/03/2021 16:04

If he moves out before it’s sold does that have a bearing on things?

It didn't with me which did piss me off a bit, it took me over a year to sell and it was only me paying the mortgage, so in my eyes he got 50% of my mortgage payments. But tbh in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter looking back

thenewduchessofhastings · 11/03/2021 16:16

You need a shit hot lawyer.

Did you take time away from work or reduce your hours to provide childcare and take care of the home whilst he was building his career?

If you get half of what's paid off the mortgage;£250K that's more than enough to buy somewhere decent outright so you have no mortgage.

Original poster
Cantwaittomoveon · 11/03/2021 16:19

@ivfbeenbusy

mine is a small pot having not worked for a number of years previously

How many is a "number" of years? Personally I don't think it's fair for him to give you 50% of his pension if you only had a couple of years out of the workplace and just because he has the better job/made better long term provisions?

Only not working for three years to bring up kids, then self employed for five years on a low income part time
OP posts:
Original poster
Cantwaittomoveon · 11/03/2021 16:26

@harknesswitch

If he moves out before it’s sold does that have a bearing on things?

It didn't with me which did piss me off a bit, it took me over a year to sell and it was only me paying the mortgage, so in my eyes he got 50% of my mortgage payments. But tbh in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter looking back

I’d like to think he’d be decent enough to continue to pay half the mortgage
OP posts:
OverTheRubicon · 11/03/2021 16:27

@ivfbeenbusy

mine is a small pot having not worked for a number of years previously

How many is a "number" of years? Personally I don't think it's fair for him to give you 50% of his pension if you only had a couple of years out of the workplace and just because he has the better job/made better long term provisions?

Luckily your view of what is fair is not the way the courts view it. If she has been out for a few years, then like many women went part time/self employed, then took jobs where she could manage the school run ( for example) that has had a huge impact on her ability to save for a pension. If he had been a sahp, or part time, it's likely she would have made very different choices.

The starting point is generally 50/50 for pension contributions made when you were cohabiting (not just during marriage) and then 50/50 for savings and housing during marriage, as far as I recall.

I don't think you need a 'shit hot' lawyer unless he's been a lot more combative than it sounds (why is it the MN threads are always full of this phrase), you aren't arguing over custody or have one of you with a complicated series of trusts and self-employment records being used to hide funds. You do, however, need a decent lawyer - maybe ask some local friends who are either divorced themselves or are lawyers and could ask around - the upfront cost will easily be recovered if you can secure a chunk of the pension. Having a lawyer to advise you doesn't have to make it combative, you want to try and do it amicably as you don't have the money to waste on battles or worse, on court.

Original poster
Cantwaittomoveon · 11/03/2021 16:31

@thenewduchessofhastings

You need a shit hot lawyer.

Did you take time away from work or reduce your hours to provide childcare and take care of the home whilst he was building his career?

If you get half of what's paid off the mortgage;£250K that's more than enough to buy somewhere decent outright so you have no mortgage.

Yes I did step back from my career, to be fair DH try and push me back in, but I was just too tired to come back and progress my career too much. £250k just about buys a 1 -2 bed flat in our area. Ideally I’d like a 3 bed semi which will be in the region of £350-400k
OP posts:
oldfatandtired1 · 11/03/2021 16:41

I’d be proposing 60/40 equity in your favour bearing in mind the age difference/disparity in income plus a pension share giving you equality of income in retirement. It’s not greedy, it’s fair. And yes, some decent legal advice would be good. You’ve got a lot of life ahead of you, don’t sell yourself short.

BillieSpain · 11/03/2021 16:43

@ivfbeenbusy

mine is a small pot having not worked for a number of years previously

How many is a "number" of years? Personally I don't think it's fair for him to give you 50% of his pension if you only had a couple of years out of the workplace and just because he has the better job/made better long term provisions?

Hmm

Thankfully I don't think it works like this after a very long marriage and two DC's

BatshitCrazyWoman · 11/03/2021 16:47

@thenewduchessofhastings

You need a shit hot lawyer.

Did you take time away from work or reduce your hours to provide childcare and take care of the home whilst he was building his career?

If you get half of what's paid off the mortgage;£250K that's more than enough to buy somewhere decent outright so you have no mortgage.

I agree you need a SHL.

Don't underestimate pension provision - there are many impoverished older divorced women.

£250,000 would buy you a one bedroomed flat where I live though!

Original poster
Cantwaittomoveon · 11/03/2021 17:15

@oldfatandtired1

I’d be proposing 60/40 equity in your favour bearing in mind the age difference/disparity in income plus a pension share giving you equality of income in retirement. It’s not greedy, it’s fair. And yes, some decent legal advice would be good. You’ve got a lot of life ahead of you, don’t sell yourself short.
Thanks, would that be 60% of the pension too do you think?? That won’t go well
OP posts:
oldfatandtired1 · 11/03/2021 17:28

As it’s a final salary pension it’s hard to give a percentage of the pension but yes, I think 50% - 60% would be fair. You’re not young (sorry)! and you’ve had a very long marriage. You shouldn’t be poor in retirement while he enjoys a healthy public sector pension.

autumnalrain · 11/03/2021 17:38

Going against the grain here I think more than 50% is taking the piss! You said yourself you decided not to go back to work even though he encouraged you to. Sometimes you’ve got to look past money what’s wrong with a 1-2 bedroom flat if your children are grown? Why cause bad blood intentionally (considering you said you are both unhappy)?

notapizzaeater · 11/03/2021 17:45

My mum got 60/40 split of the house and about 78% of his pension pot (a specialist and to value it). Doesn't matter if he's not happy with the split - you've got to look after yourself.

RosieGuacamosie · 11/03/2021 17:47

@autumnalrain

Going against the grain here I think more than 50% is taking the piss! You said yourself you decided not to go back to work even though he encouraged you to. Sometimes you’ve got to look past money what’s wrong with a 1-2 bedroom flat if your children are grown? Why cause bad blood intentionally (considering you said you are both unhappy)?
Agree! Why should you be entitled to 60%? I doubt you’d get awarded that in court
WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo · 11/03/2021 17:51

"Sometimes you’ve got to look past money"
Lol he can do that then.

Much depends on when you want to retire. If its soon then go after more of your joint pension pots (you can probably access these from 60). If youre happy to keep working for a another 5-10 years then house equity might be preferable. Think about what your life plan is and aim for that.

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