Divorce - Financial Settlement what’s likely

[Cantwaittomoveon]

Hi Everyone,
First post for me, just need some advice and support on what’s likely to happen in upcoming divorce. Here’s the story, we’ve been married for 25yrs, DH has had enough, if I’m honest it’s been dead for years and he’s just been waiting for the kids to grow up. I’m scared as DH manages all the finances, bills, cars etc.

My biggest worry is what sort of financial settlement I’ll get.
Me 57yrs old, income £35k pa, £30k pension pot
DH 53yrs old, income £65k pa, £350k pension pot
We have a large house worth £700k With £200k Mortgage left
Children 18 and 21 one working other at uni.
Is the split likely to be 50/50 or can I push for more?
Thank you....

Your pension is tiny considering you’ve worked for so many years. His pension is valuable. Don’t give up a share of it for extra house equity. I know someone who did this and bitterly regrets it.

Very roughly from your figures, both pension and house equity come to £880k. Divide by two is £440 each. Take your pensions away from that total gives you £410k from the house and he gets £90k. If he wants more equity, he trades it for percentage of pension which is transferred to your pot from his. The us a bit more in the fine detail to be sorted but that is your starting point.

Is there a dog or a cat involved?

Luckily the views of some of the people on here are not legal. Moral and ethical has no weight or relevance. This is law. 50/50 is your starting point. The courts look to make sure both parties end up equal and fair. If he has more earning capacity than her due to childcare that is taken into account. Go see a solicitor and get proper advice.
I’d be wary of staying in a large house though. Can you afford more if you move slightly out of your current area?

Go for an actuary report. It is likely to go in your favour. I agree with going 60/40. Also an order for costs. Women live longer and you have spent time raising family with reduced work. Public pension likely will be undervalued by CETV.

My XH and l split our assets as Dramalady52 described. It was important to me that l kept the family home as DS1 is autistic and needs the security this home provides.

The equity in the house was offset against his pension so XH basically kept most of his pension and l kept all mine.

I had to give him 10% of the equity as a cash transfer so he had the option of using that as a house deposit. In return l had a pension sharing order for the equivalent amount that went in a private pension. I had no option but to put it in a pension.

We had been married 15 years together over 20. 2 DC aged 13yrs and 9yrs at the time. He earned 3x my wage.

It was roughly a 51/49 % split in my favour. I could have pushed for more but l was happy with what l got. Plus there were Undertakings written into the Court Order for expenses he has to pay for DS1 on top of maintenance which outweighed me pushing for more and risking loosing them.

@Tankflybosswalkjam

* But it's not just 3 years out of the workplace. It's choosing employment that fits around the childcare needs and not that maximises earning potential. OP is now on 35k a year to DHs 60k. That has to be factored into the financial allocation.*

^^THIS!!!

This!!

I had a pension share from my ex local authority pension, it was not as big as your husbands but the monthly return on the amount I have is definitely worth having. Off the top of my head I think I got £40000 (maybe less as he was made redundant before we finalised and the figure changed). Anyway I'll receive around £8500 per year as it stands at the moment. This goes up with cost of living each year. So a larger pot definitely worth having.

I just wanted to add I have my own reasonably good local authority pension. So I know my finances in retirement are secure.

@autumnalrain

I want to make it clear that I think she’s entitled to 50% of course! Not disputing that. And if young children are involved I think she would be entitled to more than that because I wouldn’t expect the children’s lives to be disrupted.

However, given that her children are grown and she CHOSE not to work for many years despite her husband encouraging her too , then I think more than 50% is unfair.

Mumsnet is very sexist. Always in favour of the woman. The amount of times I hear advice for women ‘to protect themselves’ or ringfence their deposits when they own the home or are the breadwinner. If her husband chose not to work like OP chose not to, he’d be called a cocklodger. But when it’s the other way round it’s ‘go for 78%!!!’, ‘go for all you can get!!’

Somehow always able to justify unequal treatment when it’s a woman

Agree.

If someone chooses to work less, they should resign themselves to living on less. It's not his fault you chose not to earn.

Fortunately the law doesn't work the way a lot of people here think it should.
A family unit is seen as a whole during the course of marriage with each contributing to the overall earnings and pension.
OP your husband may have "encouraged" you to resume your career but did that involve practical help so you weren't so "tired". Did it involve encouraging and helping you get medical help for your "tiredness".
50:50 of all assets is a fair split (splitting pensions can involve specialist help). You may get more, but get legal advice (if it's fairly amicable you can use a mediator but sometimes mediation breaks down, mine did as compromises didn't seem to be being made in one parties stance).

@NoMackerelInSwindon

Is there a dog or a cat involved?

Yes 2 cats, no arguments there, they’ll be staying with me as he can’t stand them

There'll be an actuary report done on your pensions and the division will be discussed at mediation along with the house. 50/50 or close to is what you'll most likely get.
I'm almost through mine and getting 50% of house and 54% pension due to male/ female disparity and living longer but it's pretty much 50/50.
Not entitled to rooms if housing for children as over 18 as I was told and reminded by exH, solicitor & mediation.

@Time4change2018

There'll be an actuary report done on your pensions and the division will be discussed at mediation along with the house. 50/50 or close to is what you'll most likely get. I'm almost through mine and getting 50% of house and 54% pension due to male/ female disparity and living longer but it's pretty much 50/50. Not entitled to rooms if housing for children as over 18 as I was told and reminded by exH, solicitor & mediation.

Thank you, sound similar to what I’ll likely recieve.

There will be an actuary report done if you ask and pay for one . You can get a short or an extended version. TBH in my situation which was similar to yours in retrospect it was a waste of money as everything ended up 50/50.