Continuing Marriage After an Affair

[spongebobscaredypants]

Has anyone done it successfully?

I found out my husband had contacted a prositute, he visited her, he denies he went through with anything but had arranged to go back.

I caught him he didn't fess up. He's totally remorseful and I think he's sincere that he won't do this again.

It's nearly 2 months down the line, he was kicked out the night I found out and isn't back home. With the passage l
Of time the crying has stopped and I'm not angry anymore. I'm hurt but I mainly just feel really sad about the loss of my family unit. I miss him so much, we've been together 15 years and have 2 primary age children.

I am half considering counselling with a view to attempting to try and forgive.

I guess I just want to hear about experiences, did anybody manage to move on from the betrayal, if so do you have trust again? Did anyone try and regret it? And for those that chose not to try again are you in a better place or do you regret not giving it a shot?

Guess that's my worry that I'll spend the rest of my life regretting not at least trying

Thank you everyone.

I can't say I'm happy yet, but it is getting easier. The heartache has stopped, I still can't be around him too much as it makes me miss my old life so I tend to stay quite standoff'ish with him. I know he think I'm cold and clinical but the odd times we've had to spend prolonged time together, kids bdays etc I've spent the night feeling devastated and lost. So being cold is my coping mechanism, however unnatural it feels.

The kids I feel sad for, they miss there old life, but they are ok and will be even better in time

Wow you would have thought he would have learnt. Well done for getting the hell out of there and getting a divorce 👏 👍

Here's to the rest of your life 🍸

I know he think I'm cold and clinical but the odd times we've had to spend prolonged time together

There's nothing colder or more clinical that what ge did to you, putting you in a compartmentalised box while he arranged abd had sex with sex workers behind behind back ... also who gives a flying fuck what he thinks or feels. He's a degenerate, liar, cheater, threw his marriage away, and uses prostitutes who, as other posters, said you can never be sure are choosing that work of their own volition.

He also broke up his family in it's previous form, even after being given chances he didn't deserve.

Slightly irrelevant now but before your update i thought that his story sounded extremely unlikely, and that prostitutes who poat on here say a punter is a punter for life. Even while theyre showing pics of their attractive wives and partners, even while thry saying ots their last punt; theyre a punter for life.

One chance I can understand. Mistakes can be made, things can be deeply regretted, trust can sometimes be rebuilt.
But the person being given that second chance has to believe they are the luckiest person in the world, they need to to put the effort in and to handle the coming turbulence.
Good call on the divorce, what an actual scumbag. You are right, no one deserves a third.

Well done. (Has he put down his sex worker expenses on form e?! )

Congratulations and best wishes for the future.

I am so glad that you are in this position. I too mourn for the life I thought we had. I know that it is better for me to be without him as the guy who cheated on me , kept his secrets for 3 years , saw me suffering with bewilderment and worry is NOT the person I thought he was. So my life was just an illusion on his part .
But I know it how much it can still hurt .

Glad you left him though sorry he broke your trust again. As for cold and clinical - well sorry but he made that happen by betraying you, what would he expect? That you are all warm and fuzzy and nevermind dear and friendly to him after what he did?

You sound like you’re doing amazingly well and i hope you continue to heal well.