Long term marriage. Husband was a great stay at home Dad when the DC were small, they are now in school. His relationship with our youngest is incredibly strained - he calls her names and delegates all parenting of her to me. This would be fine - but he doesn’t work. So I also work FT, take care of finances, plans, most of the cooking and decorating (he does DIY and 50% housework). He is depressed but won’t see a doctor or therapist. Says he is embarrassed about not working, buries his head in the sand, and has applied for less than 10 jobs since December. Says is petrified of C-19 so it’s not safe to get a job (it is safe for me to leave the house for work though). We are currently really struggling financially - I’m trying to earn more, but this pulls me away from the DC, in particular the youngest (see above). Financials cut to the bone, everything that isn’t essential gone. I am working myself into the ground to keep us afloat. DH also has no pension and is 5 years off retirement. He has never had any plans or dreams. Relationship wise I have no respect for him and find it very difficult to be intimate. He regularly calls me names (the c word) in front of the children, will do some nice things occasionally like make me a cup of tea but I can’t remember the last time I had a card/flowers/birthday present or Christmas present (he says he has no money). We are also very different - he is cynical, political and likes solo pursuits. I am sociable and community minded, I volunteer and am a trustee of a charity.
So - if you were me, what would you do?