If marriage doesn’t happen should you give the engagement ring back?

[Fightingback16]

The thread title really.

Would you keep the ring and would you give it back if they asked for it back?

If I called it off, I'd give the ring back. If they called it off, I'd keep it.

It's considered the "done thing" to give the ring back.

If you ended the relationship then yes I think you should give it back.
If they ended it, then no.

I would not give it back unless it was a family heirloom.

Depends who ended it.

He broke it off so I kept it. Then pawned it one month when I was spectacularly skint as he decided to fuck around with the maintenance, and bought food for the dc

In the words of Za Za Gabor. "Darlings always give back the ring, but keep the stone"

I did. Even though he ended it in a massively traumatic way. They go low... I go slightly less low.

Two friends I have broke off engagements, friend 1 cause he was cheating, friend 2 because she just realised she didn't want to marry him and they were just going through the motions.

Both kept their rings. Friend 2 was encouraged to keep her ring by her ex, they are still friends, both agree it was the right thing to break up

Whoever ended the relationship, the engagement ring should be given back to whoever paid for it. Unless it was given as a Christmas/birthday present that came with a proposal on the same day, in which case it would be fine to keep it.

It seems a bit tacky to me to keep an engagement ring that didn’t result in a marriage.

I read somewhere that the engagement ring is given and accepted as a promise to honour the contract of the impending marriage. If the giver of the ring breaks the contract, the receiver gets to keep it by way of recompense. If the receiver breaks the contract, they return the ring to the giver for the same reason.

So if you were given the ring, and you broke the engagement off, you should give it back. Otherwise, no, it's not necessary.

I would make an exception for a family heirloom though.

WSS^^ there's case law on this point. It's a 'conditional gift'

As op said, it's a conditional gift so if there was legal despute, no matter who called things off or why, the ring belongs to the person who bought it.

That being said, if he is a dirty cheating rat or something then I'd totally keep it if I thought he wouldnt bug me for it back.

*as pp said

I think it is your choice, not an obligation to give it back.

I think giving the ring back is the right thing to do imo. I’ve heard in the US it’s illegal to keep it because they see it as a contract to marry.

I'd give it back if I broke the engagement and if he broke, I'd probably wait for him to ask for it and return it.

I certainly wouldn't want to keep as a reminder of the marriage that never happened.

I gave back the ring - it was several thousand pounds and there was no way my conscience would have let me keep it.

I would return the ring no matter who paid for it. If I kept it, the ring would be a continuing reminder of a regret or sadness.

I kept it.

He lied to me about still being married to someone who he also had children with (that I didn't know existed)

Like fuck was he getting it back

All depends on the situation . I think a family ring should be returned. But other than that can’t see why it can’t be kept and either sold or whatever.

I kept mine because the wedding was weeks away and I was left with lots of debt. Plus we’d put half the cost on my card, so he’d not even bought it himself. I had it and the wedding ring made into a general ring that I could wear every day, but I never did. I forget I have it. I should weigh it in!

I never, he proposed and then he cheated and left me for her so I sold the ring and spent the money on myself

I left and returned the ring. He said I could keep it but I didn't want to at the time.

I think if it's a family heirloom of his, giving it back is the right thing to do.

If not, my feeling is that if he was such an asshole I decided not to marry him, or he dumped me, then I'd probably keep it to sell. If it was an amicable split and he was a nice guy but we weren't suited or something, I'd give it back to him to sell/give to his next one .