Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

How much keep should I (adult child living at home) pay my parents?

66 replies

howmuchkeep · 28/02/2021 17:03

I pay £250 per month at the moment but had a promotion with slightly better pay. My parents are happy with me living at home whilst I save as I help out a lot and so it works out well for all of us and I have spoken to my parents and they are happy for me to live at home, there is no pressure from them to move out. My 20 year old brother also lives at home but is currently unemployed so he doesn't pay keep and my sister who is only 16 and goes to sixth form.

My parents are not well off so genuinely need my contribution. My Dad works full-time, but my Mum doesn't work due to her mental health. So the bulk of my Dad's earnings go on all the household bills aside from my £250 contribution which doesn't seem fair.

I am planning to live at home for one more year, do a lot of over-time and save as much as possible and then move out. I used all my savings whilst at university so I have very few savings at the moment. My income isn't particularly high but as my only expenses are the £250/month and a few other bills like my car insurance I will be able to save a good amount. However, I feel guilty being able to save money when my parents are not able to do so, they live pay cheque to pay cheque. I have helped out before when they have been in a pinch, for example I paid for some car repairs for my Mum's car.

I think my parents want me to start paying more keep now but they haven't outright said anything so I have no idea how much more I should start paying. I have a lot of guilt and feel like I'm being selfish.

How much do you think an adult child living at home who works full-time should pay keep in this scenario?

OP posts:

Ellmau · 28/02/2021 17:07

How much extra do you cost them, adding up food, usage of water/electricity/cleaning products/internet/anything else you can think of?

If you weren't there, would they have a paying lodger?

Motnight · 28/02/2021 17:10

How much do you earn?

MyDcAreMarvel · 28/02/2021 17:12

My 20 year old brother also lives at home but is currently unemployed so he doesn't pay keep so he has nearly £60 disposable income! If that was my child they would be paying £40 a week keep.

feistyoneyouare · 28/02/2021 17:14

I used to give my mum a third of my wages, put a third in savings, and the last third was spending money. I always felt that was fair enough considering the real costs of running a home, but obviously whether it's workable or not depends on an individual's income and day-to-day costs like transport to work, etc.

MoroSun · 28/02/2021 17:16

How do they plan to manage when you move out?

DemandTheBest · 28/02/2021 17:27

Are you afraid if you ask them that they may suggest an amount considerably more than you think might be fair?

BusyLizzie61 · 28/02/2021 17:35

I think that living at home is fairly cushy. So I'd Google the cost of renting a room in a house locally to you, where you'd obviously be liable for council tax, food, bills share etc, and perhaps look at what you are paying, the difference and your salary increase.
The other option, is that you offer to take over a/some household bills. And though these may fluctuate it allows your name to be on the bills which is great for building up a credit record, etc but also may be more proactive.

Outbutnotoutout · 28/02/2021 17:39

What is 20% of your wages.

That is what I asked for.

Offside · 28/02/2021 17:39

I think what you’re paying is fair. I also think that it doesn’t matter if your brother isn’t working, presumably that’s because he’s making no effort in getting a job and it sounds like he has it easy at home, but he should be paying keep, maybe that’s what your parents need to demand in order for him to get off his arse!

I think there’s also a line you have to be careful not to cross for your parents sake, as soon as you move out they will lose the £250 which I’m assuming they depend on at the moment, the more money you give now, the more they will miss when you move out.

Downthefarm · 28/02/2021 17:40

I think you should pay double what you are, under the circumstances. You'd still be able to save tons.

Original poster

howmuchkeep · 28/02/2021 17:40

I don't want to say exactly how much I earn as it varies considerably month by month, it's quite a bit below average though.

I guess a part of me feels that if my keep increases it will be kind of compensating for my brother's lack of keep which is why I'm hesitant. I also have made bad decisions in the past with my family members asking to borrow lots of money and then not being able to pay it back so I'm trying to have better boundaries with finances.

I'm not sure how much of the bills I make up proportionately. They wouldn't have a lodger if I moved out, no. I have looked at local houseshares and they tend to be £300ish per month including bills but then you have the food shop on top of that.

OP posts:

Soontobe60 · 28/02/2021 17:42

I’d look at it from the POV that if you move out, how much lower will the bills be.
Most of my bills wouldn’t change if one person moved out, apart from food and fuel bills. The TV, WiFi, council tax, TV licence etc would still cost the same. Do you think your parents spend £250 on food and utilities a month on you?
It also depends on how much you earn. If its minimum wage, then you’re paying a hefty % of your wage to them. If its £50K +, then you’re not.

PollyannaWhittier · 28/02/2021 17:42

I pay my parents a third of my wages, rounded up to a sensible number - I think £400 a month at the moment.

JesusAteMyHamster · 28/02/2021 17:43

My daughter cant work because of his disabilities. He pays £80 a week. (( 40 towards bills, 40 towards food )) which Is the same as his sister pays towards her supported living place. We also get a council tax reduction for him......for a working adult living at home I think £100 pw would be fair. Depending on your income. And would still leave plenty to save.

I agree with previous posters tho, there's absolutely no reason your brother can't contribute at least half of his job seekers.

Soontobe60 · 28/02/2021 17:45

@howmuchkeep

I don't want to say exactly how much I earn as it varies considerably month by month, it's quite a bit below average though.

But they're not your landlord, they're your parents. To equate the cost with renting privately isn’t fair. I would give them 20%. I would NOT give them more just because your brother doesn’t give them anything. Unless there’s a really good reason, he should be able to get some sort of paid employment. He’s no incentive if you’re subsidising him.

WhoStoleMyCheese · 28/02/2021 17:49

I think what you pay is fair because
a) Fixed bills such as Wifi etc don't change
b) You're also doing the housework on top of it.
Houseshares don't include food but also a communal cleaner for all bills.
If you WANTED to contribute more to help your family it'd be up to you. But I suspect anything more would just be to subsidise your brother who should be contributing jobseeker's allowance... so...it's up to you

MyDcAreMarvel · 28/02/2021 17:50

£350- £400 a month if food is included.

BellaVita · 28/02/2021 17:51

My sons earn around £1200 per month after tax. They pay £50 per week board. One is currently on furlough, so he is paying 20% less to make up for only receiving 80%.

Whythesadface · 28/02/2021 17:52

I think your paying quiet enough,
That's £75 a week for a room, and I bet you help out round the house as well.
If your brother got a job and was paying the same, your parents would actually be doing quiet well out of their children.

moanieleminx · 28/02/2021 17:52

I would say 25% of your salary and then buy your own lunches. Maybe cool dinner for the family once or twice a week.

Your keep has nothing to do with your brothers situation.

TheFootIsDoooooown · 28/02/2021 17:54

You simply need to find out how much the bills are and what you are costing them and then pay your share. Not your brother's share! And also include the food shop. That's it.

Lochmorlich · 28/02/2021 17:54

I charged mine 20%.
It was enough to cover their costs but I didn't feel grasping.
They were both happy with the arrangement.
Imo its better to do percentage as incomes can vary. If 2 dc were earning different amounts this would reflect it.

extentioncord · 28/02/2021 18:00

@MyDcAreMarvel

My 20 year old brother also lives at home but is currently unemployed so he doesn't pay keep so he has nearly £60 disposable income! If that was my child they would be paying £40 a week keep.

I have looked and can't find anywhere it says he has £60 per week disposable income?

Also, you would take two thirds of a measly £60 from your own child?

nancywhitehead · 28/02/2021 18:00

£250 a month seems really reasonable. I have adult brothers who live at home and my parents charge them less than that (and mum does all their washing and cooking too!)

Original poster

howmuchkeep · 28/02/2021 18:00

Thank you all for the replies. The answers have varied a bit so I'm not sure what the right amount would be. The average amount I would earn monthly would be around £1500 I think.

So I definitely need to start paying more.

20% would be £300, a third would be £500.

What do you think I should suggest?

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread