How much keep should I (adult child living at home) pay my parents?

[howmuchkeep]

I pay £250 per month at the moment but had a promotion with slightly better pay. My parents are happy with me living at home whilst I save as I help out a lot and so it works out well for all of us and I have spoken to my parents and they are happy for me to live at home, there is no pressure from them to move out. My 20 year old brother also lives at home but is currently unemployed so he doesn't pay keep and my sister who is only 16 and goes to sixth form.

My parents are not well off so genuinely need my contribution. My Dad works full-time, but my Mum doesn't work due to her mental health. So the bulk of my Dad's earnings go on all the household bills aside from my £250 contribution which doesn't seem fair.

I am planning to live at home for one more year, do a lot of over-time and save as much as possible and then move out. I used all my savings whilst at university so I have very few savings at the moment. My income isn't particularly high but as my only expenses are the £250/month and a few other bills like my car insurance I will be able to save a good amount. However, I feel guilty being able to save money when my parents are not able to do so, they live pay cheque to pay cheque. I have helped out before when they have been in a pinch, for example I paid for some car repairs for my Mum's car.

I think my parents want me to start paying more keep now but they haven't outright said anything so I have no idea how much more I should start paying. I have a lot of guilt and feel like I'm being selfish.

How much do you think an adult child living at home who works full-time should pay keep in this scenario?

I think as you feel guilty and feel they need the extra help paying the £300 going rate for a house share would be your best bet. I am assuming you buy your own food which adds up. But I do think your family relying on your keep is not the best solution, in a household of four adults and one child only two are contributing-that seems untenable and your brother needs to sort himself out, or they will all be in trouble, and judging by your posts it will be up to you to sort out, if you are in a position to or not.

As the amount you pay is unlikely to be the amount it costs for you to live there. If you pay more now you’ll live there longer as you’ll save less/more slowly - which means that in the long term paying more now will cost your parents more overall because regardless it’s likely to cost them more per month to make up the shortfall as time goes on?

As you sound as if you are approaching it sensibly then include that in the conversation - they’re presumably on board with you saving etc and are actively helping you by having you living at home.

Striking the balance between what is necessary and your end goal is what you need to all discuss. If you add up what you are saving month by month currently you should be able to calculate how much you’ll save and how long it will take you to get the amount you need. Then calculate the same based on smaller savings/bigger contributions & see what the difference is & go from there.

I’d never ask my DD to pay £500 keep! You can get a 1 bed flat and bills round here for that price.

I’m assuming the only reason you live at home is to save, so if you end up spending the same amount that a rented flat would cost you anyway (aka you could be saving the same amount as you would be at home whilst having the luxury of living in your own place!) then the whole thing is pointless.

£200-£300 sounds sensible to me. As a PP said, whatever the going rate for a house share is.

@howmuchkeep

Thank you all for the replies. The answers have varied a bit so I'm not sure what the right amount would be. The average amount I would earn monthly would be around £1500 I think.

So I definitely need to start paying more.

20% would be £300, a third would be £500.

What do you think I should suggest?

If being "fair", I'd request the annual bill totals, and pay a quarter of all, including rent, food, utilities and council tax, though it would be a third of the council tax as brother is discounted. That would be the fairest way. Failing that, or the reality of that being too much of a shocker, as I'd anticipate it being circa £500 a month, I'd be paying £300 as if in house share plus paying either a quarter of food or for one full week's shop a month.

@moanieleminx

I would say 25% of your salary and then buy your own lunches. Maybe cool dinner for the family once or twice a week.

Your keep has nothing to do with your brothers situation.

Something like this is about right.

A third is more of a commercial figure - nice to do if you can afford it, but not if it's going to blow your save up for a year plans.

If your brother gets benefits he should be paying them something, even a token amount.

... oh and calculate it on your net take home OP (stating the obvious here)

I think £300 is a good amount. I paid that when I lived at my parents. A long time ago now mind!

My DS is 22 and doing a local low paid job during the pandemic, he earns £1000 or just over a month. He pays us £140 per month which we are all happy with. We are financially very well off so don’t actually need the money but want him to learn that he needs to make a contribution to household expenses.
I think your contribution sounds about right.

My 18 year old works at the same place as me and we both take home the same amount. As its his first job, he pays me £50 a week. I kept it low as an incentive to keep his job. His disposable income is over £250 a week where as mine is £50 a week. An increase will be coming soon!

I think £250 is absolutely plenty based on what you've said. However, if you want to offer more then good for you. £300 is reasonable, £500 is absolutely ludicrous!!!!!!!

i think you should pay at least £300 a month, better £350.
your parents are struggling, whereas you are not.
they are struggling because they have made many sacrifices to bring up a family.
it is only right that you pay a bit more. you will never regret it.
also does your brother receive some benefits, if not why not, he should, and pay half off it for his keep.

@Whythesadface I think your paying quiet enough,
That's £75 a week for a room, and I bet you help out round the house as well.
It’s £57.69 not £75 a week.

I would pay £300. You can still save with what you have left. If you plan to move out it will be a shock for your parents if you start paying £500 per month.

Why can’t your brother pay anything OP? Does he not get JSA?

£250 is more than reasonable. Especially as you help around the house.

Our daughter has an apprenticeship and we don’t charge her anything, in fact we pay her phone and car insurance. We don’t plan to charge her anything either and we fully expect her to be at home until she has savings to buy a house but we are in a fortunate position to be able to do this. She is a really good saver and we’ve said as long as we can see her saving then we won’t take any money off her. Re phone and car insurance, when she wants an upgrade she’s taking on the phone and she’ll probably take on the car insurance in the next year or so.

A little bit of advice would be to keep what you earn and save private. Our nephew had a pay rise, said he wanted to save for a house and his mother wanted to charge him a small ransom, he now lives with his girlfriend.

At least 30% of your income would not be unreasonable. You would expect to need to pay that just on housing and they are also providing things like internet and much of your food.

At the very least, make sure you aren’t costing them anything.

I used to pay 1/3 of my income when I lived at home whilst working.

I think given your circumstances £300 is a fair amount.

£300

Are you saving for a house deposit? If you are, then if you were my child I'd want minimum from you so that you can save as much as possible. £250 would be more than enough. If that's an unfeasible option then pay a bit more, just to help them out.

I agree that £300 is more than enough.

I used to pay my parents 50% of everything I earn. I was still better off living with them than when I moved out and was paying a mortgage and bills etc

Maybe you could work out what % you paid on your old salary and then pay the same % of your new salary

So the bulk of my Dad's earnings go on all the household bills aside from my £250 contribution which doesn't seem fair.

I don't understand - that's the case for most families, isn't it?

I think £100 per week, paid weekly, would be fair. If you pay weekly you're less likely to have them asking for a loan mid-month.

Does the 250 inc your food for the month? If so I think you need to up it a bit, maybe to 300.

I'd discuss it with them and ask what they want. When I lived at home (10 years ago) I was on 23K a year and paid my parents £200 per month. I also bought a lot of my own food, washed my own laundry and helped out with household chores. The amount was agreed with my parents. I would've been happy to pay more, but as I was often at my boyfriend's place they thought £200 was sufficient.

@harknesswitch

I used to pay my parents 50% of everything I earn. I was still better off living with them than when I moved out and was paying a mortgage and bills etc

Maybe you could work out what % you paid on your old salary and then pay the same % of your new salary

Sorry was there a valid reason why your parents accepted 50%?