I’m not a confrontational person so don’t know how to deal with this.
A couple of weeks ago it was my 40th. Obviously it’s impossible to do much celebrating at the moment, but my long term best friend said she would throw me a mini ‘party’ at hers. She’s my support bubble (both single parents). Let’s call her friend A.
She said she would also invite friend B (before the covid police start yes I know this was against the rules but it was my 40th and depressing enough, it’s not like we had 30 people over). I’ve only really become good friends with friend B since last summer, which mostly came about because we started seeing 2 blokes who were brothers and working temporarily in this area. Friend A was never very happy about me being friends with friend B, which she admits is daft and she’s been trying to be more understanding and inclusive. So there was always the potential for that to cause problems.
Long story short, the blokes that me and friend B left the area, I carried on seeing the one I met, whereas his brother ended it with her. She really liked him, and has since then found it difficult to accept that I’m still with my bf and she’s not.
However she has been seeing this other guy for a few months, who I haven’t met in person but to be honest from what she’s told me he sounds like a controlling knob. She doesn’t even like him that much and still obsesses over my bf’s brother.
That’s the backstory. So it gets to the night of my 40th, Friend B was already hammered when I got to friend A’s house. She talked a lot about how she was ‘going through a breakup’ - basically this twat that she’s seeing hadn’t texted her for three days. So probably not an actual breakup, he just does this sometimes to punish her (like I say, he’s a knob).
Friend B kept putting her feet on my lap while we were sat on the sofa, I kept asking her not to but she kept doing it and laughing which pissed me off. I don’t like feet and really didn’t want her bare feet on my lap, which I think is fair enough.
Earlier that day I’d received some flowers, with no name on the card. My bf is working abroad at the moment, and I really hoped they were from him, and had messaged him to ask but hadn’t heard back. Friend B kept saying things like ‘oh they could be from anyone’ and ‘be nice if they were from him but I don’t think it’s his style’ - like she wanted them to not be from him. Anyway he finally messaged back and confirmed they were from him, which I think is what pushed friend B over the edge. She really can’t handle that I’m still with him, it’s bonkers.
So then she just started being a right PITA, firstly picking arguments with friend A, saying she don’t know why she was invited as clearly neither of us wanted her there 
. Then she started going on about how she was going through a breakup again. I tried to be kind and supportive over that but she just really turned on me, stood up and was shouting in my face about how I don’t understand what she’s going through, how it’s fine for me because ‘my life’s perfect’, I’m still with my bf and he sent me flowers etc (the real crux of the matter I think).
For the record, my life is really not perfect. I have ME and PTSD from a really bad time of domestic abuse, and I am a single parent of 2 disabled children. I have a lovely bf but I hardly ever get to see him as he’s rarely in the same country as me. Literally no one has ever described my life as perfect before!
This culminated in friend B storming around getting her things together and saying she was going. I pleaded with her not to, and said please stay, it’s my 40th, but she was determined to flounce off, and went.
Didn’t hear from her for a few days until she messaged suggesting we went for a run. I replied saying I wasn’t well. Since then I’ve had I think 3 messages from her asking how things are, with lots of kisses. Well how I am is pretty pissed off that she behaved like that on my birthday, it put a real downer on what was already a pretty shit 40th.
I like my life to be calm and chilled and I’m selective about who I spend my time with, I hate drama and I haven’t experienced anything like this since secondary school! So I’m torn between just writing her off as a friend, and forgiving her. I realise that what she did comes from a place of drunkenness and jealousy, so maybe the right thing to do is to let it go. It would have been nice to get some kind of acknowledgment or apology from her but that’s obviously not happening. She is generally a kind and nice person so this was out of character for her.
WWYD?