Wedding abroad

[SphJane]

Hi ladies,

My OH and I have decided to get married abroad in Mexico. We will be paying for our parents and will be having a post wedding party at home when we return for guests who can’t make it.

Would you be miffed if you were invited to a wedding abroad? I know it’s a bit of a touchy subject for some people and we don’t expect many people will be able to attend. We just want a small wedding, with close friends and family in a lovely destination that we’ve been to and adore.

Also, I am totally shocked at the amount of people who seem to be appalled at the thought of going to an all inclusive resort in Mexico. I’ve been to many all inclusive resorts in Spain, Portugal etc. but the standard in Mexico is like night and day.

I said I wouldn’t say in a resort, but I wouldn’t stay in a resort anywhere, no how many restaurants it had, if I go somewhere, I like to experience the local culture- not some resort

Seems like you are judging the responses by your own standards, and if people don’t like what you like, you see that as negative and a personal affront, but it’s not, some people just don’t like what you like,
I hate resorts

I think the only way I would word it OP is to frame it from the opposite end:

say "We haven't invited you because obviously it's not a wedding up the road and I didn't want anyone to feel pressured. If you'd like to come we can absolutely adjust the number and include you though ."

Those who are genuinely keen will jump at it, and those who aren't keen will be relieved.

I’d not be miffed to receive an invitation (always nice to be thought of) but I absolutely wouldn’t go.
As much as you keep saying what a reasonable price you’ve got, it’s still a lot of money to spend out on a holiday I would never in a million years choose for myself. I would also have to use annual leave, and DH, being self employed, would lose out on a weeks income. Not an issue if it was a holiday we wanted but again, not something we would ever choose.
I’d send a card and a nice gift and that would do nicely.

Damn op, I just want to know the company you’re booking with please! 7 nights flight and all expenses paid for for £1k sounds good for a hold right now!
Could you PM me the travel company / resort?

I hope you have a lovely wedding. I personally have turned down destination wedding invites for friends, but for best friends (ie I was maid of honour) I’ve travelled to the Seychelles for their wedding.

It’s not like you’re forcing people to go! It’s an invite not a summons

Just read it’s an all inclusive resort. That would definitely put us off. We dislike all inclusive wherever it is. We feel trapped and don’t like buffet restaurants anywhere. I think asking guests to pay a couple of thousand per person is a big ask.

I have no issue with destination weddings but Mexico is a very expensive one! I've been to them and they have been in Europe (EasyJet routes) and the wedding couple have negotiated rates at hotels, laid on a pre wedding party (all paid for) and in both cases the actual wedding including drinks were paid for so we went for a week and two days ago we spent with them, rest of the time sightseeing etc. I always book b&b anyway so we only had to pay for 5 meals rather than 7

Generally, I wouldn’t be thrilled to receive an invitation for a wedding abroad. Exactly what I’d feel, and to what extent, would depend on things like who the invitation came from, the expectations that were attached, where the wedding was and the associated necessary logistics, and the impacts on us as a family (which, while not unique in set up, do have some additional needs/complications that make the thought of travelling abroad....unpalatable).

In general, I wouldn’t want to go and would find just receiving the invitation unwelcome because of the implied expectation, never mind going.

No wouldn't be miffed at all.
We got married abroad and it was the best wedding ever. We paid for our close family and a couple of close friends came and loved it. It was the wedding I wanted. I did not want a fussy wedding and did not want a big wedding, I also wanted to marry in the sun away from it all. It was perfect. We told everyone what we were doing if they really, really wanted to come then they could make their own arrangements and come.
We didn't invite anyone who didn't come because it was immediate family and special friends who stayed with us.
I think a lot of people are jealous and would secretly choose this wedding style but get caught up in all the "Uncle George and auntie Pam will be upset" malarkey.
I felt the same with my hen do. I had 2, requested by friends. One planned by my dd and it was the absolute best thing ever. Only a few of us. Those who didn't come- absolutely fine by me. The second one arranged by a friend, low key , low cost again some people didn't come and that was fine by me again.
Have the wedding you want. Accept some people will not cpme, do not press or use any one, likewise nobody should feel entitled to attend your wedding.
Especially nowadays when the majority of copies live together already or even have children already.

You see we actually paid for our immediate family, all inclusive so we didn't invite cousins etc. Of course if they had wanted to come then they could have but the invite was just for an intimate wedding only.
You can't expect people to pay so don't be offended if they say no. Personally I'd you are not paying I would make it very casual as in, we are getting married on date, place this is the full cost and details of you can make it. No pressure. Likewise I've turned down wedding invites in the past as not practical such as no children when I don't have childcare. Also turned down a wedding abroad when our children were young as the cost was not worth it to us.
We stayed at an adult only complex for our wedding, no children in our immediate wedding party.

I wouldn't be miffed. We went to a uni friends wedding in Cyprus pre-children and very nearly didn't go due to cost. It was a lovely wedding and I'm glad we went.

Wether we would or wouldn't go would depend mainly on cost, then who they were and finally where it was and when it was. We have DC in schools and I work in a school so a wedding during term time would be a no no matter whose it was.