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Relationships

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Original poster

pensions/life insurance

72 replies

highheelslipgloss52 · 16/02/2021 21:18

So myself and husband have life insurance, just to cover the mortgage. We have a large age gap, I am the younger one, therefore I have my own private life insurance which pays out to my husband and three daughters. It is a large policy. Husband only has life insurance at work so if he dies in employment they pay out. Therefore if he retires and then dies, I will get nothing. I need to be practical and sensible. Husband is bread winner. I would like to take out a policy now but as he is older it is going to cost a lot more. Husband is not keen. Says I should use my savings to live. Am I being unreasonable? Should I pay for him to have a policy or just invest the money in stocks and shares.

OP posts:

LouiseTrees · 17/02/2021 00:10

Em. Don’t you get half his pension if he dies in retirement?

Londono · 17/02/2021 00:51

Change your life insurance policy just to pay out to your daughters? And he can use his saving so to live if you go first.

To be honest, my father's pension/life insurance paid out hugely to my mum and me and my siblings haven't seen a penny. I've made mine so they pay out to the DC and DH (although we are now divorcing so I'll take him off) as I don't want my DC not to get anything on my death.

Original poster

highheelslipgloss52 · 17/02/2021 07:46

@LouiseTrees I'm not sure as he's not showed me anything about his pension. I presume I would. Don't think it's a huge pension from what he's saying but I guess something

OP posts:

Original poster

highheelslipgloss52 · 17/02/2021 08:06

@Londono I feel like I would be being bitter, but I am really annoyed that I have made provision for him. His answer was we would sell house, the issue is we would downsize when he retires, so my argument is the house would not be worth half as much. In the mean time we would live off his funds from house if we needed. Everyone is living much longer now. So I am worrying, mistake we made is I should have made him take out a policy.

OP posts:

category12 · 17/02/2021 08:27

How come you don't know much about the financial situation?

MercifulM · 17/02/2021 09:02

Sounds like it is time to gather all the information and look for gaps. Possibly ask a IFA for help, but I would be more inclined to put it all in a spread sheet first and look at it and do some simple projections/scenarios.
I know exactly how much is in my husband's pension and he knows exactly how much is in mine (on an annual basis with mine/monthly with his). I will inherit 100% of his pot but he won't with mine (less in it so less significant) so I have additional insurance that will pay out a monthly sum to him (taken out when DC were young, I guess we don't really need that now).
I would definitely want to know - I've got two friends in the last few years who knew nothing of their husband's pension and have been stung quite badly (on death/divorce) by assuming that their high earning DH has been paying in whilst they were SAHMs for an extended time.

noideawhatusernametochoose · 17/02/2021 09:09

I'd ask him how he would expect you to manage raising the children if he died. He can't rely on the work policy. What if he was no longer with that employer at the time?
It might be very sensible to see a financial adviser.

bulletproof49 · 17/02/2021 10:32

@category12 husband is quite secretive we pensions as high earner. Seen lots of people get divorced and is protective over pension

bulletproof49 · 17/02/2021 10:47

@noideawhatusernametochoose he thinks children will be old enough. He's too old to change company now and he's high up now too. Yes I've booked an appointment with a financial advisor.

2ndAugust · 18/02/2021 19:39

How old is he is he roughly if you don’tmind me asking? I work in mortgages and life insurance, and it doesn’t have to cost a fortune depending on the amount of cover you are looking for and how long for. I’d be inclined to pay for it myself if I were you as a safety net.

Treacletoots · 18/02/2021 19:56

Hmm the life insurance at work isn't enough. My financial advisor was clear that they take a long time to pay up, and you could be stuck in the meantime and with a big mortgage and a young DC I wasn't keen on that being the worst case scenario...

The life insurance industry has seen a lot of changes recently and may not be as pricey as you think. I got a quote from DeadHappy (great name) which was a lot less than one of the usual names, the difference being the term was 10 years compared to 20 on the other.

I almost lost the will to live trying to get a quote with the original provider as I have a few health issues in my old age and they wanted doctors report after report ffs.

Anyway. I don't think it's a waste of money, definitely get some advice, and definitely have a look around before dismissing it.

lockdownleveller · 18/02/2021 20:00

Have you thought about getting a job and supporting yourself?

lockdownleveller · 18/02/2021 20:08

Why is this on all on yr DH? What can YOU do to raise funds to support your family? What have YOU done to improve your situation

lockdownleveller · 18/02/2021 20:11

@highheelslipgloss52 what have you done to secure your future?

Palavah · 18/02/2021 20:15

@lockdownleveller

Why is this on all on yr DH? What can YOU do to raise funds to support your family? What have YOU done to improve your situation

She's taken out her own life insurance policy, it says so in the OP.

lockdownleveller · 18/02/2021 20:16

Never mind your shared life assurance or DH's pensions.

What do have to support yourself and any children????

bulletproof49 · 18/02/2021 20:16

@lockdownleveller I have an insurance policy of 780k to cover him and 3 children. I work over 60 hours a week. I am not expecting to do not work but I expect each for us to have some provision for each other should one of us die. Its being caring and responsible. I am now considering instead of insuring him just investing a good generous amount into stocks and shares instead.

bulletproof49 · 18/02/2021 20:17

@2ndAugust hes 65

bulletproof49 · 18/02/2021 20:18

@Treacletoots yes he has health conditions too so it will be hard

Palavah · 18/02/2021 20:20

It makes sense for you to understand the terms of his pension and any death in service benefit.

It sounds as though you also need to be clear about finances while he's, just as much as when he's dead.

MrsAudreyShapiro · 18/02/2021 20:25

First thing you need to do is get all the details of his pension, including what happens with the pension when he dies, and the terms of his employer's death in service benefit. This stuff is important, you shouldn't be guessing. Once you have all the information, you will be in a better position to decide what to do.

Is he being funny about it because he doesn't like thinking about his own death?

2ndAugust · 18/02/2021 20:34

It will be expensive at his age then yes, you could get £100,000 pay out up to him being 80 for £70 per month, not many companies go to 80. Depending on your budget maybe consider an alternative like stocks as you say.

lockdownleveller · 18/02/2021 20:36

@bulletproof49 you have name changed from original post?

He has health conditions you say?
Life insurance you put in place you-say ?

"@lockdownleveller I have an insurance policy of 780k to cover him and 3 children."

I am sure you do.

bulletproof49 · 18/02/2021 20:38

@Palavah@MrsAudreyShapiro yes I think we are going to go through all the paperwork at the Weekend and read small print. Another point is husband has been breadwinner as both had really good careers and I have given up the opportunity to go much further in cooperate world, due to raising three girls. Please note I have always worked went back to work when youngest was 3 months. Never had a gap in not working. Husband has covered main bills as I was under 18 when I got together with him and we have a considerable age gap. He assured me always he would look after me. No I don't think he is worried about thinking about his own death, he is quite detached emotionally from things like this. I am not after his money I just want him to consider how I would survive if he was not here, as I have for him with taking out a policy that costs me £95 a month to ensure he is provided for plus my girls.

bulletproof49 · 18/02/2021 20:52

@lockdownleveller yes I changed my username I read it was a good idea to do that regularly. Yes he has health conditions he is classed as underlying health conditions for getting his covid jab earlier than others.
Wanted a good policy especially for my three girls and husband

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