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Original poster

pensions/life insurance

72 replies

highheelslipgloss52 · 16/02/2021 21:18

So myself and husband have life insurance, just to cover the mortgage. We have a large age gap, I am the younger one, therefore I have my own private life insurance which pays out to my husband and three daughters. It is a large policy. Husband only has life insurance at work so if he dies in employment they pay out. Therefore if he retires and then dies, I will get nothing. I need to be practical and sensible. Husband is bread winner. I would like to take out a policy now but as he is older it is going to cost a lot more. Husband is not keen. Says I should use my savings to live. Am I being unreasonable? Should I pay for him to have a policy or just invest the money in stocks and shares.

OP posts:
lockdownleveller · 18/02/2021 20:53

@bulletproof49 @highheelslipgloss52 whatever..

"am now considering instead of insuring him just investing a good generous amount into stocks and shares instead"

Yes do that. Great idea. Invest in stocks and shares... rather than the shoes of dead men.

bulletproof49 · 18/02/2021 20:55

@2ndAugust I've been quoted around £200 but that's without underwriting his health conditions. I will look into this further

lockdownleveller · 18/02/2021 21:00

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MissMarianHalcombe · 18/02/2021 21:09

If he’s 65 with underlying health conditions he may not even qualify for any life cover. Is his pension a private pension or work pension? How long has he been contributing? Does he take any financial advice from anyone? When is he thinking of retiring? At 65 I’m assuming soon, so it’s imperative that you both see a financial advisor, not just in case of death but also for retirement advice. He’s being incredibly naive if he’s not taking advice at this point in his life

lockdownleveller · 18/02/2021 21:15

@bulletproof49 @highheelslipgloss52 , whatever your name change... have you thought further about getting yourself a job and supporting yourself ? Opposed to waiting for yr DH to die and getting his life assurance?

bulletproof49 · 18/02/2021 21:15

@lockdownleveller seriously no deceit or motive, just like everyone you want to keep your life as private as possible

bulletproof49 · 18/02/2021 21:16

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bulletproof49 · 18/02/2021 21:17

@MissMarianHalcombe he is aiming to retire at 70 , alway had a pension. Yes I have an app booked next Friday

HauntedPencil · 18/02/2021 21:19

What did you ever do to lockdown leveller 😱

lockdownleveller · 18/02/2021 21:23

"@bulletproof49 @lockdownleveller seriously no deceit or motive, just like everyone you want to keep your life as private as possible"

Yes, so that's why i take care of my own financial affairs and don't post under multiple names on an internet forum looking to extract funds from ill/ dead men.

I have my own money and i keep my affairs private.

lockdownleveller · 18/02/2021 21:29

"Therefore if he retires and then dies, I will get nothing. I need to be practical and sensible. Husband is bread winner. I would like to take out a policy now but as he is older it is going to cost a lot more. Husband is not keen. "

Don't wait for any policies on DH. Support yourself and your children.

lockdownleveller · 18/02/2021 21:59

"@noideawhatusernametochoose I'd ask him how he would expect you to manage raising the children if he died."

The op could work?

bulletproof49 · 19/02/2021 07:26

@noideawhatusernametochoose yes that was my point. But also I realise how independent I can be, I can prepare now as I'm young enough. Glad I realised this now rather than later. I've got an amount set aside I can invest each month. I don't want to be poor by time I have grandchildren I want to me able to spoil them with love but also days out and support them throughout their life.

McAvennie · 19/02/2021 07:40

@thelockdownleveller but the OP has said she does work? Surely it's not beyond your understanding to realise that the death of a high earning spouse may leave a huge hole in the family finances Hmm

bulletproof49 · 19/02/2021 07:50

@HauntedPencil I think I was after his money 🤑

TheRulesDontApplyToMe · 19/02/2021 08:05

It’s normal to expect him to have a level of security left for you for when he dies. You should expect the mortgage to be covered at the very least and maybe a bit more. If your current joint savings cover that, then maybe he has a point. But dealing with his death, funeral and then having to sell the house whilst raising kids. I think that’s poor form.

FudgeSundae · 19/02/2021 08:11

The pension is the crucial point here. If it’s not much, and he retires then dies, then you won’t actually be much worse off than if he retires and doesn’t die - the household income will be the same?
However if the pension income is substantial, you def need to understand what happens to it if he dies.

bulletproof49 · 19/02/2021 08:12

@TheRulesDontApplyToMe you are absolutely right, I am not in any way being greedy or after anything, but I am preparing for the future for both of us and the children. That a what life is all about providing stability and security for the people you love. For example I have contacted my best friend and asked her have you thought about this etc, as she is not married. I care that is she going to be okay. We don't have joint savings he has his own and I have started saving myself based on that he has a large amount saved. You are so right, death is enough to deal with that alone is beyond hard to deal with. But as children live longer with parents too that's a factor too in making sure they are okay too. If you are each others works then you should provide for them in event of death and I mean each of you, but in particular if you earn less as you raise the children and partner earns substantial salary.

bulletproof49 · 19/02/2021 09:18

@FudgeSundae yes that's a good point, I didn't think about pension massively, the hard thing for everyone is in life is you just don't know how long either of us will lives, so best to be financially prepared regardless. Even if you have a pension pot of 300k that's 15000 a year, which is enough to live on providing mortgage is paid. Scary how much you need to invest in your pension from a young age.

Palavah · 19/02/2021 09:36

How old are you and how old is your youngest daughter?

I'm slightly confused about whether you do or don't have a job, and whether you do or don't have access to money independently of him.

MindyStClaire · 19/02/2021 10:31

So as things stand, if he dies after retirement and you're still healthy and of working age, the mortgage would be paid off and you'd have your salary? Would your salary be enough to live on if there was no mortgage payment?

Agree the key is the pension, and you need to get advice now. It may be that he needs to choose at retirement whether to get a higher pension that stops when he dies, or a smaller pension that will then pay you half when he dies. You need to know the story here.

It's absolutely important for couples to sort this.

category12 · 19/02/2021 12:22

[quote lockdownleveller]"@noideawhatusernametochoose I'd ask him how he would expect you to manage raising the children if he died."

The op could work? [/quote]
Yes, the grieving widow should immediately ensure she can cover the financial gap left by her spouse, never mind any emotional or practical issues Hmm

My mum actually had to do that, and it's bloody tough. It is really important that couples, especially with children, set up wills, life insurance etc to allow their partners and children some financial stability and safety net in the event of death.

bulletproof49 · 19/02/2021 12:59

@Palavah I work full time round 60 hours a week, I have full access to my own salary, husband is actually really good on that front. I have ability to save for my own future which is a huge positive.

bulletproof49 · 19/02/2021 13:01

@category12 aww your poor mum that's really sad to hear, I hope she is doing okay now. Nothing can prepare for you for the pain and all the life changes you have to make.

Palavah · 19/02/2021 15:10

I find it a bit bizarre that he's amassed substantial savings in his name while you were a SAHM to raise the children you had together, and you've made provision in the event of your early death but he's not engaging in conversation about his, or how you will fund your lives when he retires.

Also that you think he's 'good' for letting you (?!) have full access to your own salary.