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Original poster

Friend keeps flirting with my husband

63 replies

Mumof2222 · 15/02/2021 00:59

So, I have this good friend who everyone loves and thinks is very loyal which is why this concerns me so much..

In the 15years me and my husband have been married I have never felt that he has crossed a line with an other woman or ever felt uncomfortable around other women. We have never ever argued about our relationship and are very close.

This one friend I did recently notice that she was being very touchy feely with my husband and it made me feel uncomfortable, i mentioned to my husband who said he hadn't noticed but would keep his distance.

This weekend he had to take our son for a party at her house and i was unable to go as i had to take our daughter elsewhere. He left his phone at home and I had texts from her later in the day asking me to go over for wine after the party, so we headed over..

I got there for her to tell me that she was glad i had turned up as my husband had far too much to drink and i needed to drive!

My husband looked fine, didn't look drunk at all.... said he only had 2 beers and was fine. She then in front of me and others whispered in my husbands ear and giggled and then lent around him whilst rubbing his back to grab her phone.

She then when we got home, texted my husband to say that she hoped she hadn't got him into trouble! She then text him again in the morning about something else.. my husband showed me and didn't reply.

Me and my husband have spoken about it and i told him how much it uspets me and he is making steps to not put himself in that situation again but i just wanted to get your thoughts...

Would you say something to my friend? be worried they are cheating??

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 15/02/2021 01:04

I mean he could be double bluffing with showing you but I'd probably trust him tbh.

He needs to keep his distance and not respond. If it's about the kids, reply "oh Dave said you messaged about the sleepover. I can bring the kids over at 6" etc.

Not sure what country you're in so that also affects how acceptable or not the touchy feeling is.

SummerWhisper · 15/02/2021 01:04

How did he react when she rubbed his back?

SorryStateOfAffairs · 15/02/2021 01:05

How did he respond to her doing these things?

Sometimes people appear to he going along with something so as not to cause a scene. I think that looks different to actively engaging with or enjoying it.

I'd say him showing you the messages and not responding is a good sign.

She's no friend

SummerWhisper · 15/02/2021 01:06

Also, if she whispered in his ear, the natural thing to do if you are not interested is to not react or to pull away. What did he do? Did he smile? Lean into her? Look sheepish?

MMmomDD · 15/02/2021 01:10

Something is going on in your friend’s relationship. She sounds unhappy, or in need to make her H jealous. This is likely to have not much to do with your husband.
Why would you suspect there is something actually going on? Your H is open with his messages and not hiding anything.

Don’t say anything to her. Would only create an uncomfortable situation. Your H can easily avoid being put in those situations when she is around.

cranberrypie · 15/02/2021 01:10

I think she's the one who got too drunk, she obviously knows her behaviour wasn't right but it really doesn't seem like he is cheating as he's showing you the messages. She isn't a good friend and needs to be ditched.

grassisjeweled · 15/02/2021 01:10

Well she's obviously no longer a friend

AmberItsACertainty · 15/02/2021 01:11

She's not your friend. I'd cut her loose. You can find better friends than her.

Original poster
Mumof2222 · 15/02/2021 01:13

Thanks all,

My husband kinda laughed along when she whispered but he said it was just something about her MIL who was there and it was funny and she didn't want anyone to hear...

He didn't react when she rubbed his back and he said he didn't even notice..

It doesnt help that I have put weight on, looked a mess when i went over and she was all dolled up!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof2222 · 15/02/2021 01:14

But then why message him twice following this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof2222 · 15/02/2021 01:17

I trust my husband and really don't think he would do anything..

But confused as she has always been a good friend up until this...

My husband has restricted things she has seen on facebook as everytime he posts something she immediately comments or likes them .. and has blocked it so she can message him. There is no need for her to messaging him about the kids!

OP posts:
yvanka · 15/02/2021 01:17

Well she clearly fancies him, but it's not quite bad enough to call her out on yet.

He's doing the right thing by not replying to her texts, just try to both keep your distance from her.

Original poster
Mumof2222 · 15/02/2021 01:19

@yvanka

Well she clearly fancies him, but it's not quite bad enough to call her out on yet.

He's doing the right thing by not replying to her texts, just try to both keep your distance from her.

Yeah i agree.. i said if she messaged him again I would message her and say.. hey stop messaging my husband .. message your own man!

But he said he has blocked her as he doesn't want to be put in that position or me feel awkward

OP posts:
SuperHighway · 15/02/2021 01:29

Hmm, I had a friend like that, 'had' being the operative word.

brownet · 15/02/2021 01:31

But confused as she has always been a good friend up until this...

That's strange. How did she you used to act around your DH?

ProseccoLush · 15/02/2021 01:33

Totally missing the point here but how are you going to parties at someone’s house?

Original poster
Mumof2222 · 15/02/2021 01:34

@brownet

But confused as she has always been a good friend up until this...

That's strange. How did she you used to act around your DH?

She has got more flirty the more we have known her but nothing to cross the line until this weekend.

I did speak to my husband a while back about her messaging him and the way she is around him made me feel uncomfortable... so it has been spoken about previously

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumof2222 · 15/02/2021 01:35

@ProseccoLush

Totally missing the point here but how are you going to parties at someone’s house?
We are in new zealand
OP posts:
NovemberR · 15/02/2021 01:38

If he's blocked her then it's solved.

She does sound a bit attention seeking. I'd probably be cooling off seeing her. A pandemic is quite a handy excuse.

Flowersbynight · 15/02/2021 01:40

How long have you been friends?

brownet · 15/02/2021 01:43

It's unusual for her to all of a sudden start fancying DH as I presume she knows him fairly well.

Original poster
Mumof2222 · 15/02/2021 01:43

@Flowersbynight

How long have you been friends?
about 2 years
OP posts:
Anystarinthesky · 15/02/2021 01:45

You mean your EX 'Friend'.

Original poster
Mumof2222 · 15/02/2021 01:45

@brownet

It's unusual for her to all of a sudden start fancying DH as I presume she knows him fairly well.
We have know them for a couple of years her and her husband.

I have mentioned to my husband before about her behavior and that she flirts with him prior to this weekend.. she is very 'familiar' with him

OP posts:
brownet · 15/02/2021 01:46

has she always messaged him? Did he used to respond?

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