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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anybody else hate Zoom/video chat??

57 replies

Dramallama82 · 13/02/2021 13:33

I think I'm in the minority on this and that people would think I'm a weirdo if I said I didn't want to do a video call.

I have a few friends who I haven't seen much over the past year due to lockdown. We have a WhatsApp group chat that we write in everyday and I find this a great way to keep in touch. However, they've now proposed the idea of Zoom drinks party tonight and I'm absolutely dreading it. The thought of it is putting me in a bad mood.

Am I the only one who is like this (probably)? I'm very shy and an introvert and this sort of thing doesn't appeal to me at all.

OP posts:
category12 · 13/02/2021 13:58

Give it a go, you might enjoy it more than you think, once you get going?

It also sounds like a nightmare to me, but I think it's important to try and join in sometimes? The others will likely keep the chat going and if you're not enjoying it after a while, you can always claim internet problems.

category12 · 13/02/2021 13:59

You could try doing something funny like appearing as the cat filter and just saying "I'm not a cat" every so often.

RomanRita · 13/02/2021 14:02

Loathe it with a passion! Probably just an old misery though ☹

mrstea301 · 13/02/2021 14:10

I would join in and see how you feel. I like seeing everyone but it's not the same, after an hour or two I've usually had enough!

Happynow001 · 13/02/2021 14:12

@RomanRita

Loathe it with a passion! Probably just an old misery though ☹

Me too!

SuddenArborealStop · 13/02/2021 14:13

I did a few and now I just say no, people are more understanding of zoom fatigue now.. and in my experience they're happening less.
I hate them it's all the worst parts of social interaction with none of the benefits

duckme · 13/02/2021 14:19

I hate them. I'd rather go and spend 10 minutes on the doorstep of the person thank and hour on zoom.

Em3978 · 13/02/2021 14:37

I'm with you, I'll do anything to avoid it!

yetmorecrap · 13/02/2021 15:08

Loathe them, they feel very stilted and people start talking over each other accidentally. I’m ok for them for business reasons with a purpose but gate for friendly chit chat— would rather do WhatsApp one to one with someone

silverfonze · 13/02/2021 15:11

Absolultely hate as well
Feel depressed after
It's like tricking yourself you've socialised when you haven't
And in a group you can see people but never get to have a meaningful conversation so it's doubly bad

Destinyknown · 13/02/2021 15:16

God me too. I have a friend and she keeps insisting on have a video chat, finding it really intrusive. I must sound like a crap friend but we're not that close and I have nothing to talk about. I'm dreading it, she's also someone who is quite hard work in person so a video call, just the two of us is going to be interesting.
I put her off last week, I'm going through a bereavement and I've said I'm not feel great so want to have time alone but she was like ah that's sad but back to her.
And then she keeps messaging suggesting chats at 9pm at night where I've had a whole day on video. Ive run out of excuses. I wish I'd just said straight off I don't like video calls.

I'm going to hell Grin

BobbinThreadbare123 · 13/02/2021 15:19

I don't like them much. I can't tell when I'm supposed to speak in real life, let alone over an internet connection! I think we've all run out of stuff to say now too; it's been groundhog day for ages now. I also don't watch a lot of telly so I don't get included in the 'box set chat'.

Moooning · 13/02/2021 15:24

The big group things can be tricky, depending on who/what is happening...having a quiz is quite fun. I can only do those sporadically.

A video call with just one other person, maybe two, I've gotten to really enjoy. Then again I live alone and don't have anyone to bubble with where I am. All my friends and family live in other cities and countries. I've actually gotten closer to some people because of lockdown thanks to video calls.

Oh, and alcohol is often mandatory, like I'm meeting someone for drinks! I hated the idea of it all at the beginning but you get very used to it.

Amotherlife · 13/02/2021 15:30

I'm not keen either. I have to do such calls for work and they're ok. But with a group of friends, you have to take it in turns to speak and it is stilted. The other day I had a meeting like this and I was saying some things that usually I'd get sympathy for but everyone just listened, made no comment and someone else started talking. Kind of feels lonely. Plus I loath watching myself fidgeting!

Dramallama82 · 13/02/2021 17:57

Thanks everyone. I think it's just the idea of 'forced fun' that I'm dreading if that makes any sense. I live by myself and the thought of sitting in front of a laptop for about 3 hours with a drink in my hand pretending I'm at the pub thoroughly depressing.Smile I think I might be an old misery too @RomanRita.Grin

I've had the odd one for work and I do find that people tend to talk over the top of each other and people are just waiting their turn to speak and not really listening. That could just be my perception though. This tends to make me go into myself even more and not want to participate. I just think that I'll let them get on with it.

OP posts:
MyHeroMakkaPakka · 13/02/2021 17:59

As long as there's not too many different people joining than they're ok. With loads of people on, it just gets really clunky.

Hate doing video calls to grandparents etc with the DC, trying to get DC to act interested for longer than a minute is a challenge!

HighSpecWhistle · 13/02/2021 18:51

Me! Can't think of anything worse. Everyone talks over each other and it just seems fake to me. Even with my best friends it feels awkward.

And the "parties" are just cringe to me.

junebirthdaygirl · 13/02/2021 19:05

I'm always exhausted and a bit cranky when l come off Zoom. It does me no good. I also hate video calls. I prefer a normal call. A friend calls me on video call but l let it run out and then a while later return her call in the old fashioned way.

I would especially hate a drinks party on Zoom as l would feel l would never get off!

Bloatedandconfused · 13/02/2021 19:16

I hate it too! Thank God it's not just me. I understand it for work or if you have friends or family who live far away but other than that just call. Exh tries to video chat all the time. Lord knows why because I see him more than enough grrrrr

LandFair · 13/02/2021 19:19

I just won't do it!

Refuse to.

Luckily I don't need to do it for work (though obviously I would if I had to).

But I need TO SEE PEOPLE IN THE FLESH REALLY.

I might be wrong.

I was against Satnav, smartphones and other things that I'm ok with now!

But all this technology has gone mad. And agree with whoever said, 5 minutes on the doorstep with a neighbour is worth 2 hours on zoom.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 13/02/2021 19:21

Yes, don't like it.

But I had a zoom call with my best friend today and we chatted for nearly 2 hours but I don't think we would have done that on the phone. It's just a bit more like being in someone's company.

However, I avoid it as much as I can.

wibblewombat · 13/02/2021 19:27

The BBC Bitesize had an article saying that we're all now used to video calls but we're certainly not. I'll catch up with one person via FB video but that's it. All my other interactions are email or messages, I can't maintain my attention for long video calls.

Sassypants82 · 13/02/2021 19:34

I don't like it either and I'm quite the extrovert.

It's just tedious after a while and I can't hear people properly etc. I occasionally join in but I don't love it.

Sassypants82 · 13/02/2021 19:35

Much prefer my friend WhatsApp group which is really active, we're in touch absolutely every day.

redcarbluecar · 13/02/2021 19:36

I quite like video chats with friends but think sometimes a time limit would help. I’ve started to avoid zoom quizzes as they go on for hours . I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all.