Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Anybody else hate Zoom/video chat??

57 replies

Dramallama82 · 13/02/2021 13:33

I think I'm in the minority on this and that people would think I'm a weirdo if I said I didn't want to do a video call.

I have a few friends who I haven't seen much over the past year due to lockdown. We have a WhatsApp group chat that we write in everyday and I find this a great way to keep in touch. However, they've now proposed the idea of Zoom drinks party tonight and I'm absolutely dreading it. The thought of it is putting me in a bad mood.

Am I the only one who is like this (probably)? I'm very shy and an introvert and this sort of thing doesn't appeal to me at all.

OP posts:

Isitsixoclockalready · 13/02/2021 19:48

@Dramallama82

I think I'm in the minority on this and that people would think I'm a weirdo if I said I didn't want to do a video call.

Am I the only one who is like this (probably)? I'm very shy and an introvert and this sort of thing doesn't appeal to me at all.

I don't really like video calls as I don't like the disjointed nature of conversations. They flow much easier in a real life environment IMO.

anascrecca · 13/02/2021 20:02

Yes I hate it. It's nothing like meeting up as a group. It's too intense.

BillieSpain · 13/02/2021 20:10

HATE THEM.

I just came off a video call from my 4 year old nephew (so couldn't refuse) I look like a heroin addict and 20 years older than my actual age.

hopeishere · 13/02/2021 20:14

I've done one social one in the whole of lockdown. I can't be arsed with the work coffee check in type ones. I hated the cake gatherings when we were in the office let alone online. For the Christmas one some people got all dressed up apparently

Robin233 · 14/02/2021 07:30

We had a couple of work ones and I'm getting use to them. It's the time lag that confuses me and I think they ve not heard me so start to repeat my question lol
Did FaceTime with my son yesterday because I've not seen him since September. It was good but we did start to loose connection so went back to phone call on speaker phone :)

again2020 · 15/02/2021 11:18

Yes, I do dislike zoom now!

I think it's because every video chat I have seems so long!
I have a fortnightly quiz with friends...I'm usually on for around 2.5 hours! What's wrong with an hour? And when I'm on to my brother it's a good hour every time too! I always feel I could be doing house stuff/sorting DD out/having a bath/yoga or something else.
Maybe I'm a bit antisocial and an old misery guts

Original poster

Dramallama82 · 15/02/2021 16:35

@again2020 you sound exactly like me so if you're a misery guts, I'm one too.

I agree about the length. We had the Zoom in the end and while it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be it went on for over 2 hours. I can't be bothered with that every week. Maybe every month but even then it would be a push.

I also have people who phone for a catch-up and stay on for maybe an hour/hour and a half. In my opinion it's totally unnecessary to talk to somebody for that long. I find myself drifting off after half an hour. Maybe I'm just rude!!!

OP posts:

peak2021 · 15/02/2021 17:06

I am in two minds. Happy to do this with family and have video, happy to chat/discuss things with work colleagues but camera stays off (house is a mess or no haircut for a while is my excuse). Hoping that with the use of calls wfh will be long term, or at least only going into an office once a week.

feistyoneyouare · 15/02/2021 17:10

I hate them too, for the same reasons as you OP.

CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate · 15/02/2021 17:24

Bloody hate them. I have chronic fatigue and look like a panda bear on steroids. My eyes are bloodshot with tyres for circles. In real life I just look a bit tired. On zoom I look grim.

Despise them and I hate video calls too. Intrusive, especially if I'm having a bad day and I feel the house, kitchen/living room aka the 'background' has to be pristine. I imagine they must be hell for socially awkward people.

feistyoneyouare · 15/02/2021 17:29

Bloody hate them. I have chronic fatigue and look like a panda bear on steroids. My eyes are bloodshot with tyres for circles. In real life I just look a bit tired. On zoom I look grim.

I have chronic fatigue too and can totally relate!
I hate all the pressure to show off one's home in the background as well. I'm just not able to keep everything looking 100% perfect all the time, and it seems like some people (I don't mean on this thread) really do judge other people's backgrounds, as petty as that seems to me. I often end up extra fatigued from all the various stresses of Zoom calls.

BackforGood · 15/02/2021 17:59

Well, it depends.
Would I rather meet people F2F than zoom ? Of course
Would I rather zoom than not see people at all for a year ? Then yes.

'Chats' are difficult if there are more than about 4 of you - as you say, people tend to talk over one another. But I've met up with a group of friends instead of an annual pub lunch and we recognised that and made it a bit more "formal" in taking turns to share news at the start, which helped. Of course it isn't anywhere near as good as seeming them face to face and all being able to have little chats in 2s and 3s, but it is, IMO, better than not speaking to them all, at all for a year.

I think it also depends how much you are having to use video conferencing at work. If you are on a screen all day, then it really doesn't appeal to socialise that way at all, but if you are a bit isolated during the working day, then it is quite nice to see some human faces and have a bit of a chat, even if it obviously isn't as good as seeing people in person.

I can't understand people having weekly 3 hours family "meet ups" though . We;ve got together to 'blow the candles out' when it has been one of the dcs' birthdays, and very rarely other than that. It's nice for 30 - 40 mins on occasion, not a regular thing though.

CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate · 15/02/2021 19:21

Exactly @feistyoneyouare you end up having to do extra tidying, and all the fussing with it and extra concentration leaves you more exhausted! And yes, it does provide more fodder for petty judgyness

Annamaywong25 · 15/02/2021 19:24

Absolutely loathe Zoom! For me it epitomizes this horrible time, I'd like to put it in Room 101, along with facemasks and the word "lockdown"

BackforGood · 15/02/2021 19:38

I agree about the length. We had the Zoom in the end and while it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be it went on for over 2 hours. I can't be bothered with that every week.

I think this ^ is your problem, rather than the concept of zoom.
I will video chat one of my dds every now and then - but it tends to be for 10mins. Even with a bigger family gathering (as per birthdays mentioned above) the longest time we are on is 30 mins, 40 at a push.
Even where we did a quiz (3 times in the time since March), we've kept it to about 90mins.

CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate · 15/02/2021 19:56

@BackforGood You do quizzes? As a family? On zoom?

My family is rubbish. We dont do quizzes! Why are other people getting quality lockdown zoom while I'm not? What other stuff does your family do on zoom?

CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate · 15/02/2021 19:57

Not that I'd last long enough for a quiz. But it's the principle!

DaisyHeadMaisy · 15/02/2021 20:05

I hate them too, it's just not a natural way to socialise and seem quite awkward even with people you know well. You have to make yourself and your immediate space presentable, without the fun and benefits of seeing people in person.

BackforGood · 15/02/2021 21:37

@CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate

Only 3..... in 11 months

95% of my evening zooming is meetings..... like the 2 hour one I've just come out of !

Taswama · 15/02/2021 21:53

With just one other person I prefer a phone call.
For 3 or 4 zoom is ok.
More than that and it's horrible, unless someone is chairing the meeting to make sure everyone gets a chance to talk.

CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate · 15/02/2021 23:17

@BackforGood

'Just 3' she says... Well hate them I might, but I am scheduling a zoom meeting tomorrow. My bloody family needs to up its game.

BackforGood · 15/02/2021 23:24

Wanderlust20 · 15/02/2021 23:30

I hate them too! If this lockdown has taught me anything, it's that I'm naturally an introvert.

I'm on video calls all day for work too so the last thing I want to do after 5 o'clock is go on another one.

They do feel forced, plus it's not like there's much to catch up on. Messages via What's App or a socially distanced walk 1-on-1 is much better!

Pipgrin · 17/02/2021 09:14

I hate them too. One on one video calls with a friend are fine now that I'm used to them, but I hate the group calls and as an awkward introvert, any hint of "forced fun" also makes me want to run for the hills. With that said, the sheer number of Teams/Zoom calls I've had to do since working from home in lockdown means I'm starting to find it a little more natural than I once did.

ColdBrightClearMorning · 17/02/2021 09:55

I hate them and refuse to do them. It’s the forced joviality and pretence that it’s in any way a substitute for actual in person socialising that irritates me. A messenger conversation or a few texts or a phone call are far preferable imo. It’s the content of the discussion that is valuable, being able to see someone on a screen does nothing for me.

Flip

1 2 3