I'm in shock - after almost 5 years together boyfriend has told me he has never been in love with me

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I posted recently about my relationship but there has been developments since as I told him recently I have been feeling like just someone he's fond of and good fun to hang out with. He basically agreed, said he's not in love with me, never has been but thinks a lot of me. He'd been hoping things would change for him but they haven't and that's why he let it drag on so long. I'm heartbroken and shocked. He's never told me he loves me before but he told me he's not good at expressing his emotions and I assumed that although he didn't say it, he must love me after all this time. We've never lived together, we're not young, no children. We're each other's longest relationship. He's had many previous, I haven't.

This only happened yesterday. Still trying to process it. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I'd appreciate any advice. Thanks

I had a slightly shorter length relationship and it took me a good year to feel myself again. I was very up and down emotionally for so long, I thought I'd never feel normal again, but I did, but I was surprised how long it took. It's not easy but you'll get there. Have you talked to a therapist?

I've had two sessions with a therapist, who's helping me. I'm annoyed with myself that I didn't see his behaviour over the years as selfish at times. I'm still dreaming a lot about him which upsets me for a while the next day.

Glad the therapy is helping. Don’t blame yourself - these things happen in life. Doubt your relationship was all bad as things are never black and white. Regardless, hang in there - things will get better and you’ll put this behind you.

So I'm just 6.5 months after breakup now and thought I'd post to say I'm feeling much stronger the last 4 weeks or so. Although I'd still think about things, I don't cry or wallow. I got angry about how I was treated and was annoyed at myself for not seeing red flags a lot earlier. The good thing is, although I plan on staying single now - have no interest in another relationship - there's no way I'd stay with someone that long again without checking in long before 5 years.

As I mentioned previously, we met in a running club. Even though we wouldn't necessarily have to run together, I made the decision not to return as I felt I needed to move on and this would be a backward step for me. An acquaintance I bumped into told me he's back running with them. I can now see this as another selfish aspect to his character. I was the third - but longest- girlfriend he had in this club over about 14 years. I hope he's more successful in his search this time!

I know I'll still be up and down for a while, but nothing like I was. The advice I received here was invaluable and I continued to read back over it on my low days.