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Original poster

About to move in together - annoying things

125 replies

Thirtiesclub · 09/02/2021 22:26

Me and dp are about to move in together and already these little things annoy tf out of me.

The snoring
Smelly farting in front of me and finding it funny
Leaving all the bloody lights on downstairs even though hes last up, so i have to go turn them off .
Loud alarm in morning.
Swearing alot

Arghhhhhh

Obviously in comparison to our relationship as a whole and how happy he makes me these are small but they drive me insane.

Any tips from those more experienced?

OP posts:
CarryOnPlainHunting · 09/02/2021 23:43

Don’t do it. These things will only get more annoying.

Sarahandduck18 · 09/02/2021 23:44

Don’t move on with him!

EternalOptimist7 · 09/02/2021 23:45

Farting can be hilarious but there is a time & place.

Stonehopper · 09/02/2021 23:46

@EternalOptimist7

stonehopper the OP didn’t say her DP was sweaty
Autocorrect for ‘sweary’.
NovemberR · 09/02/2021 23:52

Set standards. Be clear about what you need to feel he has respect for you and stick to it.

I would be telling him bluntly that if he genuinely wasn't prepared to cut the crude behaviour out then I didn't want to move in together. PP was right that he presumably didn't think smelly farts were funny on a first date. It's not attractive.

Once you get the "ick" there's no coming back from it.

DianaT1969 · 09/02/2021 23:55

I give it 3 months...

youvegottenminuteslynn · 09/02/2021 23:57

These aren't minor niggles they're things that show a lack of respect for you along with an extra unattractive cockiness as if he's so shit hot you're all reeled in now so he can mark his territory however he likes and you'll stay.

Bleurgh. He sounds rank.

Mother87 · 10/02/2021 00:07

Those "small" things will become GIGANTIC things very very quickly...

FlatteredRhubardFool · 10/02/2021 00:08

Why would you even consider it especially when you have a child?Confused

katy1213 · 10/02/2021 00:09

He sounds gross. And if it's annoying you now, it'll annoy you even more in a few years' time.

billy1966 · 10/02/2021 00:10

OP,

Why are you moving in with such a rude, lazy, selfish, disrespectful, uncouth man?

Honestly, that is some disgusting list.

You aren't planning on having children with that?

He sounds so rough.

You can't say he sprung anything on you.

He has shown you just how disgusting he is.

If you move in with him, you will regret it.

His disgusting habits of which there are no doubt more to come and his lazy disrespectful ways, would turn any woman with self respect and standards completely off.

Why are you moving in with someone so rough?

Think on! Flowers

Eckhart · 10/02/2021 00:12

[quote Thirtiesclub]@ScaredOfDinosaurs no once hes up thats it its bedtime, tonight for example he was asleep before i realised so i had to.

Is it laziness or hes oblivious?! Even left the tv on[/quote]
It's that he doesn't give a shit about how you'd like to live.

LizB62A · 10/02/2021 00:22

Lazy and oblivious imo
How many times has he "explained" things away with "I didn't think"?

These sorts of things shouldn't bother you at the beginning - the fact they are already issues should make you stop and think.
I'll never live with a man again.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 10/02/2021 00:23

Is it laziness or hes oblivious?! Even left the tv on

It's a total indifference to giving a shit about you and a total entitlement that his partner should pick up after him / do whatever he can't be arsed to.

Don't move in, don't get pregnant and take some time to think about what those things actually mean rather than treating them as minor niggles.

Disrespect.
Indifference.
Entitlement.

Not a decent prospect really, is he?

If a PP is right re you having a child already, living with this man would be showing them that men are allowed to rule the roost and it's a woman's job to pick up after them and tolerate whatever decisions the man makes.

Whether your child is a boy or girl, don't teach them that is acceptable in a relationship.

purpletrees16 · 10/02/2021 00:24

Lights on is something you should just prod him till he does it - I’m sure he’s not that asleep.

As someone whose gut got completely messed up by antibiotics last year who can’t seem to stop unfortunate & loud escapes (seriously dread not fixing this before no longer being wfh) I suggest trying to see if he’ll try variations on diet to fix the gas. May be he’s intolerant to dairy? Anyway if it’s no cheese or attempt to leave the room, that might work. (I seem to live in a state of apologising to mine this year - despite trying a variety of diet options.)

sadie9 · 10/02/2021 00:29

He doesn't switch off the lights or TV because his 'Mummy' is there to do it for him. The grown up turns off the lights.
What does that tell you about the roles you both have taken in the relationship?

Smallonesaremorejuicy · 10/02/2021 04:30

Why would you move in with a smelly lazy teenager????

DramaAlpaca · 10/02/2021 04:36

Nope, nope, nope. I just couldn't live with a man like that.

He'll do your head in, OP. Have a rethink.

BarryTheKestrel · 10/02/2021 04:39

Don't do it. These things, within a few months of living together, will destroy your relationship. Get out now before things become tangled together.

I presume you know this and this post is for reassurance that ending things is the right thing to do because of your doubts.

Longsight2019 · 10/02/2021 04:54

You sound like you know these things are a problem and that he will likely slip further once the true over-familiarity sets in. Frankly, he sounds like an inconsiderate teenager.

What age are we talking?

Oh, don’t do it unless you can have a serious talk and he responds well to your concerns and stops.

Eekay · 10/02/2021 04:59

At least he's not luring you in by being on his best behaviour, so you find all this out after you move in together.
This would be your home life Every day. So, make your decision knowing full well that he has these horrible habits.
He's made me feel sick and I've never met the bloke!

Monty27 · 10/02/2021 05:00

I got divorced for similar reasons OP

UnusuallyUsual · 10/02/2021 05:07

He sounds like my 23 year old son who still lives at home... I can't wait for him to move out for all of those reasons.
Seriously, how old is your child? Your thread did seem light hearted but is it to late to rethink this.

SD1978 · 10/02/2021 05:33

I don't have any advice- but you've basically said that several things he does at least daily, if not several times a day, winds you up. So you're going to be frustrated a
minimum of once a day up to multiple times a day, for the rest of your life. Up every day with his alarm, awake every night with the snoring, listening to the farting and swearing..............

Feminem · 10/02/2021 07:59

Maybe apart from the snoring - which is a relationship-wrecker in itself (just read the threads on here) - all the other things can be curbed by your dp if he really wanted to out of love & respect for you op. I would press pause on him moving in until he at least changes in your presence. This situation is a ticking timebomb & will lead you to be frustrated and irritated daily. My guess is that this is the tip of the iceberg too. He sounds lazy & disrespectful so that will almost definitely play out in other areas of your lives.

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