Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He punched me on the nose!

74 replies

CryingHelps · 09/02/2021 01:41

First time that he's been physical. Athough, we've had a few spats when he's pushed me over and he doesn't know his own strength. I've always thought tit for tat but now, I know he's crossed the line. I've left a note for him but I don't know what else to do. I want to call it over but I know he'll blame xyz. Help me be strong.

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 09/02/2021 01:45

Call it over. Leave. Tell the police or GP.

Be aware that your brain is about to pull a number on you and get you to minimise to try and make it ok but this is serious and you need to leave, or better still get him to leave.

DeRigueurMortis · 09/02/2021 01:47

Get to a safe place (neighbours, locked bathroom or car for example).

Call the police.

Call women's aid www.womensaid.org.uk/.

Take pictures of your injuries whilst you are waiting.

Yes he's crossed a line and he'll keep crossing it further and further until you say enough.

GhostCurry · 09/02/2021 01:49

“ I've left a note for him but I don't know what else to do. I want to call it over but I know he'll blame xyz.”

It doesn’t matter what he says, your next move is not up to him.

And he does know his own strength. Bastard,

Please post on Relationships, you will get more good practical advice there. Very best of luck. You are leaving this man.

Frbct · 09/02/2021 01:49

There is never justification for punching. Please ignore any xyz he may blame. He has shown you who he is. Please look after yourself and contact others who can help.

Chambored · 09/02/2021 01:52

Call the police, that will help you be strong.
Agree about moving this to Relationships.
Pushing you is not acceptable.
Punching you in the face is not acceptable.
Stay strong. You’re doing the right thing.

TheWho67 · 09/02/2021 01:55

He's blissfully sleep. He knows he crossed the line but he's hoping ill minimise it. I know from previous he'll use something he knows against me. I'm totally innocent. But I have to do this by stealth. He has a history from when he split from his ex - confirmed by him, nothing major, property damage.

FlamedToACrisp · 09/02/2021 02:13

OP, are you somewhere safe, or are you still in the same place as your EX-partner?

user1473878824 · 09/02/2021 02:14

However strong I was I wouldn’t hit someone in the face. He knows he’s stronger than you and did it. I know it’s not as easy as just leave, but that’s what you have to do.

Wendyhause · 09/02/2021 02:15

He just did this tonight and now he is blissfully asleep?
I do not know you but am furious and hope you do not weaken and give him another chance. If he can just go to bed and sleep after what he did then that is a sure sign he is capable of doing it and worse again.
No idea of your circumstances but if at all possible remove yourself from the same building he is in and find a safe and warm place to go to tonight. If you decide not to then try to keep things calm tomorrow and secretly make you plans to leave him.
The police would swiftly remove him from your home if you are willing to call them. Have him charged and do not back down. It will happen again if you don't act now or very soon.

FlamedToACrisp · 09/02/2021 02:18

OP, just in case can you get some money and ID and keep it on you all the time in case you have to rush away.

TheWho67 · 09/02/2021 02:23

Tbh I'm scared. Pathetic I know. I've torn up a dozen letters telling him its over. I've replied to countless others in similar situations but when it's you.....
Feck, I have to be strong. I'm tired. I want to have it out now but thats stupid I know. I don't want to sleep and feel different if that makes sense?

OldPodge · 09/02/2021 02:24

Are you ok OP? Is your nose ok? That must hurt.

rawalpindithelabrador · 09/02/2021 02:25

You already minimise. He has form for this, 'nothing major property damage'. That's pretty major. Major enough for his ex to have left him before he killed her. You don't have to do this by stealth. He assaulted you. He already has by pushing you. Please get out of there and call the police. Sad

Mamanyt · 09/02/2021 02:26

Call it over. Get out while he is gone. GO to a secure place. CALL THE POLICE AND REPORT THIS ASSAULT. Yes, it is an assault. Realize to the depths of your being that this is his default reaction to being thwarted and that it will only get worse with time, never better. Do not tell him you are leaving, do not tell him where you have gone. DO NOT BE ALONE FOR ANY REASON.

Been there, done that. Damned near died. DO NOT BE ME! GET OUT NOW!

Valhalla17 · 09/02/2021 02:26

Forget writing letters OP. Get out of there to somewhere safe...got any family or friends that can give you a bed tonight? Pls stop wasting time and endangering yourself with this person.

Wendyhause · 09/02/2021 02:28

I just read your OP again. You say it is the first time he has been physical? No it isn't if he has pushed you over a few times. Luckily you didn't crack your head open or have some other injury when he "didn't know his own strength" so please take advice from those on here who are trying to help you keep focused on what is going on here.
You do not need to write countless or even one letter to this bully. Leave him!

Tinkerbell456 · 09/02/2021 02:29

Op, pushing you over is physical. Sounds as though this is escalating. P,ease take the bairns and go somewhere safe!

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/02/2021 02:31

Are you safe right now?

TheWho67 · 09/02/2021 02:36

It's my house and my DS is here. I can't pretend everything is fine. I have to say something tomorrow.
Oh god. I didn't realise how this worked. He's done it by stealth. What a fecking wake up call! He has to go but I'm now scared of him. There's been a few other things but I'm on the ASD spectrum and ways put it down to that. I always thought my super strong boundaries were to blame. Maybe not.

rawalpindithelabrador · 09/02/2021 02:37

@TheWho67

Tbh I'm scared. Pathetic I know. I've torn up a dozen letters telling him its over. I've replied to countless others in similar situations but when it's you..... Feck, I have to be strong. I'm tired. I want to have it out now but thats stupid I know. I don't want to sleep and feel different if that makes sense?
I'd be scared, too. He can do worse than punch your in the face. Are there children in there? Doesn't matter, you need to get out, the street is better. No, you do not have it out with a man who has assaulted you by pushing you over several times and has now moved on to punching you in the face. Please get your keys and phone and purse and leave, right now. A Tesco Extra is safer than this house with this man just now. Call the police from there.
rawalpindithelabrador · 09/02/2021 02:39

@TheWho67

It's my house and my DS is here. I can't pretend everything is fine. I have to say something tomorrow. Oh god. I didn't realise how this worked. He's done it by stealth. What a fecking wake up call! He has to go but I'm now scared of him. There's been a few other things but I'm on the ASD spectrum and ways put it down to that. I always thought my super strong boundaries were to blame. Maybe not.
You and your child are not safe just now. Please call the police.
rawalpindithelabrador · 09/02/2021 02:42

You have nothing to say to this man.

Valhalla17 · 09/02/2021 02:42

Leave with your ds and call the police. Saying something to him tomorrow is pointless and just means you'll stay and he will have another chance to punch you again or worse in the morning.

Thatwentbadly · 09/02/2021 02:42

He started to physically assault you when he pushed you. Now he has punched you. It’s escalating. Unless you leave it’s only going to get worse.

I hope you find the courage to seek help and leave. If you were my friend and you rang me I would come and get you now. You can stay with a friend or family member, call the police or women aid. Whatever you do please don’t stay with this man.

Valhalla17 · 09/02/2021 02:43

If you cant do it for you, think of your ds and get out of there!

Swipe left for the next trending thread