First time ghosted

[Beachtrip]

Been seeing the guy for 6 months.
We bubbled together, visited each other, spent Christmas together. Had some disagreements, things weren't perfect but we talked often, was a bit of physical distance so couldn't always see each other easily.
Both have kids (we never met each other's).
I didn't see it coming.
We had disagreed over something and it felt like the distance was getting a bit much. Weren't seeing each other as much as we'd like and I felt he was putting in less and less effort.
We discussed and made a plan for going forward to try to be together when we couldn't be together (watching films at the same time or set phone calls X times a week etc)

Then, he ghosted. Literally just hasn't replied to me for several days now.
Very clear it's over. I won't accept that level of rudeness and disrespect. So even if he comes back now that's it, it's dead in the water.

But, I'm really struggling with the ghosting.
Just days before we had been discussing how to strengthen and the future and all that.
Then BAM. Poof. Gone.

I'm finding it hard. Hard enough that I've two kids at home managing that as a single parent, lost my dad last year, struggling with lockdown (like everyone I know) but I genuinely had very strong feelings for this guy. I was (am) totally in love with him. And this hurts.

@happinessischocolate thank you.
I've always felt that those letters don't help me, because I don't feel better just expressing it if the recipient isn't reading it.

But I actually might try it. Because this time around, I don't want to give him the letter. I don't want him knowing and getting the satisfaction of it.

I was so sad the other day when I was deleting him everywhere but I get it now. I felt like I was closing all doors and that was sad, but actually I was closing the doors and saying fuck you.
You can walk away but I closed the door and shut you out instead of letting you orbit. Fuck you, you giant tantrum throwing toddler.
So yeah, might try that

@Beachtrip Hope today was better, did you write to him?

@happinessischocolate
Omg. I can't stop writing.
I started it, but instead to him, I wrote about the relationship. As if it were a blog post. And I can't stop.
It's all pouring out and as it does, as I add details to events and happenings between us, even the good ones, I'm seeing more and more of it.
It's so helpful.
Thank you so much for this.
It's really helped me today.

It's amazing what can happen when you put things down and like them up.

@Beachtrip I'm so glad it's working for you, I've done it on a couple of occasions where I didn't get the closure I needed, and going through everything I thought and needed to say helped so much.

How are you feeling OP. I am going through this myself and the comments on here are so bang on. So grateful for this community! Hope today is not too tough x

@ThisTooShallPassOneDay
Was abs up and down day.
Spent it with my bubble and was lovely. But even then, being around a couple was a bit tough at times.

Sorry this has happened to you too.
I honestly think, ghosting is the worst. It's cruel and shows what bastards they are.

It's tough. But time passes and you NEVER wish ''oh I wish I was with him''. A dodged bullet is right. It's so cowardly and it shows an inability to have difficult conversations and communicate. JUST what you want in a boyfriend! (cowardice and a lack of communication skills)

PS with the letter, write it out in a draft and say everthing you want to say. Then go back over it for as long as you need to taking out a few words every day.

I've done that in the past. I had like 8 typed pages and then finally by the time I was ready to let it go, I had a few lines ''you felt entitled to hurt me. When I say stop hurting me, it's like you were the victim of that request''.

And then I could say to myself, yeh, that was the crux of it.