I'm really upset and confused so please be gentle with me!
My partner and I have been together 3 years and he moved in with me and my kids since lockdown last year and generally it's been positive for me and the kids.
He is bright, kind, helpful, funny, sweet, loyal and generally we get on really well.
But I am being ground down by his mood swings. These are well known at his place of work and a joke is generally made of them there.
Twice a week, probably one eve and one day of the weekend is marred by him being sulky, moody and generally difficult to be around. It's becoming a deal breaker for me and this morning I told him so.
He will get in a mood if he is hungry, tired or feeling anxious. He doesnt seem able to say 'oh I don't feel great' or 'I won't come along actually, I'm shattered' or 'I'm getting really hungry can we stop for food' or 'I'm so worried about yada yada'. Instead we will have hours of abrupt responses to questions, curt and fairly rude announcements, eye rolls and a total absence of pleasantries. Its utterly wearing.
Yesterday was my first day out of 3 weeks of isolation after the whole family got covid at different points and we had to test drive a new car as my lease is up together and the kids were at their dad's.
The timings then didn't quite worked out, we'd had to do some admin for his career change so making lunch was quicker so he hadn't eaten enough and so I had this behaviour for the whole test drive which was 2 hours long and supposed to be fun while obvs essential and within the rules. It had been triggered by a discussion about a change of career that I am supportive of and we can afford the re training but that will be a big change he wants but is frightened of. He was then in this mood for about 6 hours until we saw his sister who is our support bubble. It was just so wearing and difficult to be around I just wanted to be alone to actually relax in the evening.
I've told him this morning after he spent the nignt in the spare room that it is a deal breaker for me and if he can't sensibly say when he feels down and to preventatively deal with his hunger or tiredness and just not do the activity, I would much prefer to do something alone than with him if he is in this mood.
Partly I can't bear how I find myself going through all the reaaons he might be moody to try and 'fix' it and it is such a horrible dynamic. It's impossible to ignore him and just get on with things because he doesn't remove himself from the situation he just keeps on going. Help.