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Original poster

disinheriting spouse

79 replies

savethatkitty · 05/02/2021 12:20

Background - DH & I have always kept separate finances, due to him being useless with money and me not. During our marriage, all property and assets have been saved for and purchased by me, in my name only, from years of saving by me. DH has contributed nothing to savings or purchasing of property/assets.

When I die, I don't want him to inherit or profit from my estate. Instead I want our 2 DD to benefit from my estate. That is the whole reason I am investing and buying property, so that one day they may benefit.

Has anybody else done this. Does it hold up legally?

OP posts:
GuyFawkesDay · 05/02/2021 12:21

Unlikely to as you are married therefore he is next of kin, unless the property is held in trust for the kids?

I'm not sure though

wibblewombat · 05/02/2021 12:22

You need proper advice as if he lives in the marital home, he will have an equitable interest.

timeisnotaline · 05/02/2021 12:24

I think you need to consult a lawyer, but it should be. It is always harder to contest these things if you explain your reasoning in the will so it’s clear it was your deliberate intent, you have clear reasons and are of sound mind. I assume you are giving him the right to live in a house till he’s dead etc, if you do all the reasonable things then it’s probably safe.

KylieKoKo · 05/02/2021 12:26

Do you not want your husband to be looked after in the event of your death? Will you at least make provision for him to live in the house? I can't imagine that you'd want him to be a thrown out as an elderly pensioner. Does your DH know of your plans?

I think you need to get proper legal advice on this rather than looking on here.

category12 · 05/02/2021 12:27

You'll need to make sure he's looked after, otherwise it won't hold up if he challenges it.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 05/02/2021 12:32

Can you give him a lifetime right to remain in the home? I'm the sole homeowner, and the house is left to the children with DH having a lifetime right to live here rent free.

mindutopia · 05/02/2021 12:59

Yes, you can do this, but how, you need to get proper legal advice. MIL has left her home and assets to DH and BIL. She re-married late in life (60s) to a man who really had no assets, other than a small bit of savings. He has a lifetime right to stay in the home (realistically, he won't outlive her unless she gets hit by a bus because he's on his last legs anyway). But upon his death, if she dies first, the house goes to dh and BIL. His dc should have no claim. The difference may be that it is a relatively short marriage and the house was paid off before she met him, it's very clear he has no claim to it. This may be harder to do in a long marriage, even where assets are in your name, because they are still marital assets.

WatieKatie · 05/02/2021 13:00

Any asset held in joint names (house if owned as joint tenants, bank account for example) will automatically become the property of the other person on death. All other assets will be distributed in accordance to your will.

If you own your home yourself you could leave it to your children but have him as a life tenant meaning that he could continue living there if you were to pass away however he couldn’t sell it as your children would be the owners.

Speak with a solicitor who will be able to structure your will accordingly.

PaterPower · 05/02/2021 13:50

OP I get that you’ve saved to purchase these assets, but surely you wouldn’t have been in a position to do so without your husband’s income helping pay at least some of the bills?

I’d echo other PPs in suggesting you at least make provision for accommodation until his death.

I know someone who’d put all his assets in his wife’s name; it’s a slightly different situation from yours because he was the sole earner but was trying to minimise his tax exposure, so the house and bank accounts were in her name.

He didn’t know it, but she’d written her will so that all of it went to the DC. He was completely screwed over when she died. One of his kids wanted to let him live on in the family home, but the others insisted on “their” cash and forced the sale. He has nothing to his name, after a full working life, except his state pension.

The dodgy (or maybe not, I don’t know) tax affairs aside, it’s a deeply unfair and pretty miserable situation he’s in as a result.

Spodge · 05/02/2021 17:14

If he is financially dependent on you then he can challenge the will and will likely succeed. You are also pitting him against your children (which is grim at the best of times but hideous if they are also his children). If your children are both adults when you die then they can come to an arrangement with him, but if either of them is a minor then it will have to go to court, with all the acrimony and costs that will entail. Those costs will likely come out of the estate so will ultimately cost your children. Take legal advice.

Fifthtimelucky · 05/02/2021 17:30

I am not leaving anything to my husband in my will (except a life interest in my half of the house).

Not for the same reason though. He has enough savings and a good pension and will automatically get our joint savings. He doesn't need any more and I'd rather my money went straight to the children. Same applies if he dies first - the children get his money, not me.

The solicitor drawing up the will didn't query it.

Anothernick · 05/02/2021 18:27

I am in a similar position to you in that my DW is not good with money and I was concerned that if everything was left to her she would be unable to manage it and there might not be much left for the DC. So I have made a will which leaves everything apart from our house in a trust. If I had died before the DC were grown up the trustees would have been my brother and sister but now the DC are in their 20s they would be the trustees. The will instructs them to make sure my DW has enough to live on for the rest of her life and anything left over after that goes to the DC. The language is a bit more technical than that obviously but that is the basic meaning. The house will automatically go to my DW as that is always the case with married couples, I'm not sure that a will can override that.

Nanny0gg · 05/02/2021 18:30

@Anothernick

I am in a similar position to you in that my DW is not good with money and I was concerned that if everything was left to her she would be unable to manage it and there might not be much left for the DC. So I have made a will which leaves everything apart from our house in a trust. If I had died before the DC were grown up the trustees would have been my brother and sister but now the DC are in their 20s they would be the trustees. The will instructs them to make sure my DW has enough to live on for the rest of her life and anything left over after that goes to the DC. The language is a bit more technical than that obviously but that is the basic meaning. The house will automatically go to my DW as that is always the case with married couples, I'm not sure that a will can override that.
If you are Tenants in Common rather than Joint Tenants, you can will your half of the house to who you like. If you're kind, you add a lifetime interest in there for your spouse.
Nanny0gg · 05/02/2021 18:31

@savethatkitty

Background - DH & I have always kept separate finances, due to him being useless with money and me not. During our marriage, all property and assets have been saved for and purchased by me, in my name only, from years of saving by me. DH has contributed nothing to savings or purchasing of property/assets.

When I die, I don't want him to inherit or profit from my estate. Instead I want our 2 DD to benefit from my estate. That is the whole reason I am investing and buying property, so that one day they may benefit.

Has anybody else done this. Does it hold up legally?

Has he actually been a decent husband at all? Has he contributed at all to your marriage or family?
Anothernick · 05/02/2021 18:37

@nanny0gg

It's unusual for married couples to be tenants in common, I don't recall being given the choice when we bought the our house (a long time ago). And I guess a spouse would have a pretty good case to challenge a will that effectively threw them out of the marital home, especially if they had no means of paying for anywhere else to live.

blackcurrantjam · 05/02/2021 18:38

This is an awful thread. If you're still married I think it would be better to leave substantial amount to the kids, sure, but the spouse should get the lion's share. I mean, omg. I'm slightly gobsmacked tbh. Such little respect for your spouses?! Maybe I'm not understanding properly but :0

ItsDinah · 05/02/2021 18:38

Please consult a solicitor about this. Rules are different in Scotland and England & Wales. In Scotland,spouses and children are always automatically entitled to a share of the estate,no matter what it says in the Will. In England & Wales they can ask the court to award them a share. In both cases, there are ways you can arrange your affairs to minimise what your spouse is likely to get.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 05/02/2021 18:43

Get a solicitor, obviously, but have you thought about what happens if he decides to divorce you? (and frankly if I found out my spouse was planning to disinherit me, I'd be very likely to consider it...)

Soontobe60 · 05/02/2021 18:45

Why one earth are you still married if you think so little of him that you’re prepared to see him homeless if you die before him? I’m sure your children will think you’re a great mum!

TierFourTears · 05/02/2021 18:48

I think it also matters where you live, and Scotish law is different to English law on this point.

blackcurrantjam · 05/02/2021 18:51

I'd be utterly horrified if my spouse did this when married.

Will you tell him? Or do it secretly? Omg! Can't you just set some boundaries, have a frank financial conversation? I don't know, but this?

junebirthdaygirl · 05/02/2021 19:04

My solicitor said l can say l leave to my dh all l am legally required to do and the rest l leave to my children. He also is completely rash with money and has his own income so he will survive fine on that if necessary. He also stands to receive half my work pension so that's a bonus for him.

bluebluezoo · 05/02/2021 19:08

My will leaves everything to my kids. Dh gets a life interest in the house, he can choose to live here or use the proceeds to buy somewhere else.

He knows I have done this and has agreed to it. He has a reasonable pension, i will likely leave mine to him so he is comfortable. But everything else goes to the kids.

jollyunicorn83 · 05/02/2021 19:19

@blackcurrantjam

This is an awful thread. If you're still married I think it would be better to leave substantial amount to the kids, sure, but the spouse should get the lion's share. I mean, omg. I'm slightly gobsmacked tbh. Such little respect for your spouses?! Maybe I'm not understanding properly but :0
I would never put my children as second priority to anyone, even DH, who full well knows this. We're not in the same position as the OP because we both agree on financial matters and the children's wellbeing but I understand the thrust of this post completely. I think you are being slightly judgy, sorry!
Cameleongirl · 05/02/2021 19:23

He knows I have done this and has agreed to it.

Obviously you need to seek legal advice, but blue makes a crucial point- you must discuss this decision with him so he's prepared, otherwise it could cause terrible damage to his relationship with your children.

I know someone IRL who discovered they were disinherited after their spouse died. There were good reasons for it (bad with money, poor decisions, etc.) but it caused huge problems with their adult children - the disinherited spouse resented them and blamed them for the situation. Sad Please don't do this to your children, keep everything in the open.