New partner and genital warts

[overthinker30]

I caught genital warts a few years ago and keep getting flare ups every now and then. It's not usually a problem as I get them frozen off; however I'm having a flare up at the moment but the GU clinic won't offer the freeze treatment because of covid. They've given me a cream to use instead, which I've been applying for a month and it is doing absolutely nothing! The clinic say it can take up to 4 months! I've recently started dating someone new and it's getting to the point where we are ready to have sex but I have to keep putting him off. I don't know what to do - there's only so many times I can be on my period! Should I tell him and hope he doesn't think any less of me? Has anyone else used the cream before (Aldara) and if so how long did it take to work for you?

If you end up with this chap long term but don’t tell him , and he catches it from you , it could lead to him thinking you’ve cheated . Tell him now so everything is in the open and he can make an informed decision on whether he wants to have sex with you .
I hope they clear up soon though xx

@mouldygrapes

Read what they said carefully. The wording used that we wouldn’t necessarily advice ALL patients that they’ve EVER had genital warts, in response to what a previous poster said about needing to inform all partners about your history of them. Later on the same poster says that it is best to tell the current partner.

Also there are no “NHS guidelines” they mandate informing patients that they’ve been in contact with any type of HPV. It is not the same as the other STIs

I’m really not sure why people keep going on about generic hpv. The op has genital warts, it effects less than 5 percent of the population, it’s an sti and any partners should also be tested.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/genital-warts/

My DH has HPV caused cancer. It may be terminal (doing ok at the moment but who knows)
Never had any known STD.

You need to share.

People are “going on about HPV” because genital warts are caused by types of HPV. These types behaves like other types of HPV so why single out warts? Just because warts cause physical symptoms in some people whilst other types of HPV don’t isn’t a reason to consider them differently.
The population level data counts those diagnosed with symptomatic genital warts per year via sexual health clinics; this doesn’t include diagnoses made by GPs or private clinics, or the people who never come forward as they’re too scared and stigmatised by posts such as some of those on here, so the true figure is likely higher.
This also doesn’t include the high proportion of people who are carrying the virus without having symptoms. We know asymptomatic carriage is high from studies.

As I’ve said before, there is no commercially available swab or blood test for genital warts. The NHS website is crap for sexual health stuff and we don’t use it. All the advice for warts on accurate websites we use (such as the FPA and BASHH) are clearer. It’s sensible for partners to have a check for other STIs (as it is for anyone, given lots of STIs are asymptomatic) and they can be offered an examination to check for any warts they may not have noticed themselves.
www.fpa.org.uk/sites/default/files/genital-warts-information-and-advice.pdf

[quote mouldygrapes]People are “going on about HPV” because genital warts are caused by types of HPV. These types behaves like other types of HPV so why single out warts? Just because warts cause physical symptoms in some people whilst other types of HPV don’t isn’t a reason to consider them differently.
The population level data counts those diagnosed with symptomatic genital warts per year via sexual health clinics; this doesn’t include diagnoses made by GPs or private clinics, or the people who never come forward as they’re too scared and stigmatised by posts such as some of those on here, so the true figure is likely higher.
This also doesn’t include the high proportion of people who are carrying the virus without having symptoms. We know asymptomatic carriage is high from studies.

As I’ve said before, there is no commercially available swab or blood test for genital warts. The NHS website is crap for sexual health stuff and we don’t use it. All the advice for warts on accurate websites we use (such as the FPA and BASHH) are clearer. It’s sensible for partners to have a check for other STIs (as it is for anyone, given lots of STIs are asymptomatic) and they can be offered an examination to check for any warts they may not have noticed themselves.
www.fpa.org.uk/sites/default/files/genital-warts-information-and-advice.pdf[/quote]
Thank you so much for sharing that link. That leaflet is very informative! I'm I right in thinking then that once you've got HPV it doesn't necessarily mean you have it for life (in the leaflet it says your body will clear the virus over time). I'm still freaking out about telling him such personal information about myself when we've not known each long but I definitely won't have sex with him without telling him first.

@overthinker30 you’re welcome.
Yes, the majority of people do eventually clear the HPV virus but it can take time. The treatments (Aldara, freezing etc) burn off the actual wart but don’t kill the virus, however your immune system will fight that off in time.

OP, it's not your decision what level of risk he should be exposed to. It's his body and health and therefore HIS decision. Let him decide whether he wants to be exposed to this sexually transmitted disease. You must know that it can still be spread even if warts are not visible. A basic Google search brings up the NHS site that confirms it. It's pure wickedness to even consider not telling him. People selfishly concealing things is exactly how a lot of STIs are spread.

@LivBa

OP, it's not your decision what level of risk he should be exposed to. It's his body and health and therefore HIS decision. Let him decide whether he wants to be exposed to this sexually transmitted disease. You must know that it can still be spread even if warts are not visible. A basic Google search brings up the NHS site that confirms it. It's pure wickedness to even consider not telling him. People selfishly concealing things is exactly how a lot of STIs are spread.

This. Informed consent is so important for anyone sexually active.

These types behaves like other types of HPV so why single out warts? Just because warts cause physical symptoms in some people whilst other types of HPV don’t isn’t a reason to consider them differently

Don’t be so ridiculous. You seriously think it’s like getting cold sores?

Sorry, I would look for someone else.

You seriously think it’s like getting cold sores?

I didn’t mention cold sores, but since you did - HPV (a few types of which cause genital warts) and HSV (two types of which are the cold sore virus and genital herpes virus) are completely different things. They have some similarities in that they are viruses spread by skin to skin contact, even with condom use, and can be spread by people who aren’t aware they have them, but the symptoms they cause are different.

Cold sores are caused by HSV-1, and if you’ve never had a cold sore you can get HSV-1 on the genitals. HSV-2 only causes genital herpes.

Does everyone who’s ever had a cold sore in their life disclose this to a sexual partner or someone they kiss? Or give oral sex to? Because if you’ve never had a cold sore and have contact with someone asymptomatically shedding HSV-1, you can get genital herpes. Yet, because of stigma and misinformation about STIs it’s deemed more socially acceptable to have cold sores than genital herpes

#mouldygrapes

Aciclovir can be used for wats too

www.drugs.com/cdi/zovirax-acyclovir-ointment.html

Wow so many people here advocating not to tell someone they have an STI because it’s so common to have these days & pulling percentages out of their arses.

That’s really sad...and sort of scary! Can only imagine the people who support this have STIs themselves.

Really poor form

Listen to the posters who work in sexual health clinics OP, not the dramatic MN asassins with nothing better to do, quoting googled statistics.

They see this all the time and destigmatising STIs is so important. Nobody here has commented on how this must be impacting your sense of self worth or mental health.

An option for you may be to hold off sex for a year with anyone and get on top of these warts once and for all. Mine cleared within a couple of years and I had a year where I just had no sex at all. Eat well, exercise, reduce alcohol consumption etc. Personally, I wouldn't be telling any "new" partner that I wasn't sure wasn't in it for the long haul.

I had to have a similar, frank conversation with a partner once but I knew he was in it for the long-haul. We now have 2 kids together. Choose wisely who you tell. You don't want to be telling everyone you date, you have to protect yourself too. And afterall, who are they to know that they haven't already been in contact with the virus anyway?

Actually shocking people Advising not telling anyone you’re going to sleep with about this.
Even if they’re not in it ‘for the long haul’ that person has the right to know! Shameful.
This is something that should always be told, whether you’re showing or not.
Im glad you’re going to do the decent thing op.
Hope he takes it well, if not there will be someone else.
Hope the cream does work.

There's an excellent episode of a podcast called 'this podcast will kill you' about genital warts and herpes. It's really worth listening to.

@FossilisedFanny

If you end up with this chap long term but don’t tell him , and he catches it from you , it could lead to him thinking you’ve cheated . Tell him now so everything is in the open and he can make an informed decision on whether he wants to have sex with you . I hope they clear up soon though xx

This is true. It could also lead to him having a lifelong illness. But I suppose that doesn't matter to you.

@thedancingbear of course this man’s health matters , I was just giving another reason why the Op should tell him. 🙄

[quote Blushingm]#mouldygrapes

Aciclovir can be used for wats too

www.drugs.com/cdi/zovirax-acyclovir-ointment.html[/quote]
So you’ve googled “is aciclovir used for genital warts?” and picked the only website that supports that theory, which appears to be an American compendium of drugs, moderated by themselves and not affiliated to the FDA who license drugs in America.
If you look up aciclovir (or acyclovir as the Americans spell it) on Drugs.com, there is no mention of it being used to treat warts except for that one page on Zovirax ointment and I’m confident that is a typo.

Aciclovir is not used to treat genital warts. It is not in any guidelines (UK or international) as a validated treatment for warts because it doesn’t work for that indication.

If you want to look at an accurate medical formulary, here is the BNF (British National Formulary) entry for aciclovir. Zero mention of warts or HPV.

bnf.nice.org.uk/drug/aciclovir.html

@Notawanker

Personally, I wouldn't be telling any "new" partner that I wasn't sure wasn't in it for the long haul.

Just to clarify - you're saying you'd still sleep with them while deciding if they were in it for the long haul?

This would be an individual choice based on several variables. Some would be:
A) where exactly the warts are located.
B) only when a condom is used
C) whether having sex with them was a better option than abstaining from sex for a year (which I'd want to be doing in this situation unless meeting someone absolutely worthwhile).

It's very easy to say what you would do in this situation when you're not in it. I had GW 12 years ago and still, I don't know what I'd do in the OPs shoes. So many variables, so many outcomes. Even her age. If she's mid thirties and wanting to settle down with someone and have children and she thinks he's likely to be a good partner, then telling him would be a good thing to do. If she's 22 and finds him attractive but that's it, then no, probably I wouldn't tell him but take every precaution if I still wanted to have sex with him.

It's not a black and white situation.

Try a private clinic?

You in the U.K. OP? We’re in lockdown you know ?

#mouldygrapes - I used to work at DOSH and aciclovir was occasionally prescribed for warts, especially if people weren't keen on cryo - and I do know what the BNF is thank you!

@Blushingm

#mouldygrapes - I used to work at DOSH and aciclovir was occasionally prescribed for warts, especially if people weren't keen on cryo - and I do know what the BNF is thank you!

Interesting then that you chose to quote from an unregulated US compendium of drugs. Aciclovir isn’t licensed for warts, so would have been prescribed off licence in your clinic - unlikely to harm but no evidence of benefit at all. If there were it would be in the guidelines!