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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I’ve been ghosted and it hurts

52 replies

Whyohwhydididothat · 04/02/2021 16:25

I’ve been speaking to this guy of tinder for the past 6 weeks and today I know that I’ve been ghosted. We had a disagreement this morning and he blocked me on WhatsApp. We texted of normal text messenger then and he promised to reply a few hours ago and hasn’t. It’s really upset me and I feel so down and it’s so bloody stupid.
I’m really upset about this

OP posts:
Eslteacher06 · 04/02/2021 16:28

It's been a hot second....he might contact later?

But someone who is childish enough to block you isn't worth your time anyway

Happycat1212 · 04/02/2021 16:29

I don’t think this is ghosting, if you had a disagreement and fell out then it’s not really ghosting is it, depending on what the disagreement was he may just not want to talk to you again, ghosting is when someone just disappears for no reasons and the ignores all form of contact and you have no idea why. Anyway sounds like you didn’t even meet him?

BibbityBobbety · 04/02/2021 16:31

I'm sorry, OP. He sounds immature, petty, and rude - what grown adult blocks someone after a disagreement?? Do you really want to be with someone like this, who obviously can't communicate in a healthy way?

Have you actually met him? If you haven't (and even if you have), just delete him and move on. All this drama only 6 weeks in is not a good sign. Consider this a lucky escape before you wasted months on this idiot.

Original poster
Whyohwhydididothat · 04/02/2021 16:31

The disagreement was really stupid. He lives a hour away and he has never had a girlfriend where they haven’t moved in immediately and he wasn’t happy when I proposed we see each other once a week if we get on at the beginning.
It’s not like him to completely ignore me...

OP posts:
Happycat1212 · 04/02/2021 16:32

Tbh if you’ve only been talking for 6 weeks and already having disagreements it’s probably for the best, maybe he was justified in not wanting to speak anymore

NovemberR · 04/02/2021 16:33

I think you had a lucky escape there!

The minute you didn't fall in with what he wanted he blocked you? What an idiot.

crumptrump · 04/02/2021 16:34

Red flags all over the place OP!! He’s pushing you to take things faster than you are comfortable with AND he’s giving you the silent treatment AND you haven’t even met yet.

RUN

BibbityBobbety · 04/02/2021 16:35

Are you being serious?? A man is getting angry with you for not moving in immediately, and instead of running far far away, you're feeling upset... You don't even know him! He sounds deranged!

Is this made up? You cannot think this is a normal situation, and must see how ridiculous it is that you are even still talking to him.

Happycat1212 · 04/02/2021 16:36

Xposted, well then why do you care? Did you even meet him?

Original poster
Whyohwhydididothat · 04/02/2021 16:36

I’m really really really upset. I keep texting him asking for him to reply. I know it’s undignified. He hasn’t blocked my phone number because calls are going through.

OP posts:
Wanderlusto · 04/02/2021 16:36

He sounds like a lunatic who was telling you that shit about his ex gfs to test your boundaries. You showed him you actually had some, by suggesting once per week (perfectly acceptable) so now he is testing you by blocking you.

I bet he will unblock in a few days when he feels you have been adequately punished. He is probably hoping you will appologise and then he will know you have poor boundaries.

He is vile op. Read up on narcissists (npd) because you are dealing with one. And if he messages YOU again, block.

BigFatLiar · 04/02/2021 16:37

Perhaps he's a mumsnetter?

Blocking is pretty standard advice to women when they want to stop a relationship and move on.

Wanderlusto · 04/02/2021 16:38

@Whyohwhydididothat

I’m really really really upset. I keep texting him asking for him to reply. I know it’s undignified. He hasn’t blocked my phone number because calls are going through.
Yep, there you go.

Stop this immediately op. He is a manipulator and this is what he wants.

Run for the hills.

ProfessorInkling · 04/02/2021 16:39

Find your self respect, grab it, run for the hills. Block and delete. Next!

Original poster
Whyohwhydididothat · 04/02/2021 16:39

I know and I agree with the run for the hills comments but right now I just feel sad as ridiculous as that sounds.
I just want to hear from him.

OP posts:
Wanderlusto · 04/02/2021 16:42

Its standard abuser shit: 'Oh ALL my ex gfs gave me blow jobs' 'oh ALL my exs let me sleep arround' 'oh ALL my girlfriends let me live woth them straight away'. The implication being there is something wrong with you for not being ok with this ridiculous suggestion. Can you see how it's a mind game?

Can you see how he is now being controlling by blocking you as punishment for saying no to his nonsense?

You are well rid. And the fact you are so upset I'd guess he has been 'love bombing' you up till now too.

shitinmyhandsandclap · 04/02/2021 16:42

Do you think it's reasonable to be talking of moving in together after 6 weeks OP? If so then you really need a good talking to!

BibbityBobbety · 04/02/2021 16:42

But WHY do you want to hear from this psycho man? 6 weeks you know nothing about him. He could well be someone who moves in, and beats the shit out of you and takes all your money!

Please stop being so helpless. If this is how you really think, you are a prime target for every abusive, manipulative man out there. See the red flags, be scared for your life, and run. Then go work on your self esteem so you don't chase after men who treat you like a piece of crap.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 04/02/2021 16:43

Stop messaging him!!!!

You had a disagreement (what it was over isn't really that relevant) and he's thrown a tantrum because you won't do what he wants.... just think about that.

WHY would you want to be with someone who behaves like that?

You've known him
Six weeks, I've got cheese older that than.

You REALLY need to look at why you're having this reaction over someone you've known 5 minutes.

Happycat1212 · 04/02/2021 16:45

So you haven’t met him then? Since you have ignored that question

Original poster
Whyohwhydididothat · 04/02/2021 16:45

I know! I’m furious at myself. I actually think I’m broken. Completely and utterly broken.
I name changed but maybe some people will remember me... I’m the poster who wrote about the online ‘relationship’ with the guy who turned out to need a carer and was severely mentally unwell.
This is a different guy. I can’t take it anymore. It’s like I get drawn into these abnormal scenarios when all I want is to find someone nice and normal.

OP posts:
BlueTimes · 04/02/2021 16:45

@Whyohwhydididothat

I’m really really really upset. I keep texting him asking for him to reply. I know it’s undignified. He hasn’t blocked my phone number because calls are going through.
It’s been six weeks. Have some dignity and move on.
Original poster
Whyohwhydididothat · 04/02/2021 16:46

I just hate myself and I can’t fix it.

OP posts:
crumptrump · 04/02/2021 16:46

The next step in his plan is for him to unblock you, let you beg and then you will be so relieved he’s talking to you that you will agree to whatever he wants because you are scared of him disappearing again.

Please have some self respect and block and forget about him. Get back on tinder- you’ll have someone new to chat to by tonight.

stout01 · 04/02/2021 16:47

@BigFatLiar

Perhaps he's a mumsnetter?

Blocking is pretty standard advice to women when they want to stop a relationship and move on.

That was my thoughts. Isnt that the advice on here and now this bloke is being called out for it....