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Original poster

Something I’m unsure about with boyfriend, his previous girlfriends and liking naked pictures.

81 replies

Whatisthis83 · 02/02/2021 19:28

I’ve been with my boyfriend 5 months and sometimes something bothers me. I’m probably being and absolute doughnut about it but still it gets to me.

I’ve seen pics of his previous girlfriends and he has also shown me profile pics of girls he has chatted to in the past off dating websites. The other day his phone broke and he used an old phone and it had previous girls pictures on so he showed me. I don’t really want to see these pics. But every single girl he has ever chatted or been with have a particular style...nothing like me. Now I’m curious really why he is with me.

He also likes Pics of naked girls on Facebook and again absolutely nothing like me. He even showed me a pic one of those girls from dating site sent him of her breasts I didn’t want to see that. They all big breasted and I’m not. Too be honest they aren’t tasteful at all. I’m quite a shy person and sexually not into dressing like that and sprawling my legs open.

I’m a bit put off really how he views women and how different I am to what he looks at.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/02/2021 21:59

It doesn't matter what his motivation is (to cause jealousy or not) to do something only an absolute prick does. What matters is that it means he's an absolute prick.

Rybvita · 02/02/2021 22:23

This is utterly disgusting. Don't stay with this misogynistic man OP. Run for the hills.

Wanderlusto · 02/02/2021 22:26

Yeh it's not to make you jealous, it's to make you insecure.

Also it's really not ok for a partner to be looking photos of naked women of facebook. What a sleazeball.

Original poster
Whatisthis83 · 02/02/2021 23:41

So I shouldn’t be ok with him looking at women on Facebook or women on porn. I never know what is acceptable. Well I know it makes me feel a bit urgh.

OP posts:
Retrogal · 03/02/2021 05:40

It almost sounds like he considers you one of his mates and is showing you these pics as he might to a male friend. It's like he doesn't realise that you will have a different reaction to them and feel differently about it than his mates. It's odd, at best he's really naive. Or at worst, he's trying to intimidate you. Only you know. But it's really inappropriate and needs a conversation

LizziesTwin · 03/02/2021 05:47

I wouldn’t like it at all, has he taken photos of you naked? Or topless? Do you want pictures of you to be shown to future girlfriends? I’d split up now, no need to waste anymore time with him, he’s unlikely to become nicer.

3rdNamechange · 03/02/2021 05:58

@Whatisthis83

So I shouldn’t be ok with him looking at women on Facebook or women on porn. I never know what is acceptable. Well I know it makes me feel a bit urgh.
If it makes you feel urgh , get rid of him. He sounds pathetic. Have you told him you're not interested in looking at pictures of other women ? Ask him why he thinks you'd want to ??
Bluesername · 03/02/2021 06:01

LTB

Landlubber2019 · 03/02/2021 06:11

has he taken photos of you naked? Or topless? Do you want pictures of you to be shown to future girlfriends?

On showing you the pictures he is showing what it is he likes and setting his stall on what he wants from you. Personally I would be running for the hills!

KatyClaire · 03/02/2021 06:43

Why is he showing you these pictures? The only explanation is that he wants to provoke a reaction and make you jealous, which means he’s a dickhead. You deserve better than this.

AnitaB888 · 03/02/2021 06:49

OP, your BF seems immature and has a poor attitude towards women as well.

Tighten up your boundaries, raise the bar and dump this waste of space.

I'm sorry.

AnyFucker · 03/02/2021 06:50

Is he 15 ?

category12 · 03/02/2021 07:49

@Whatisthis83

So I shouldn’t be ok with him looking at women on Facebook or women on porn. I never know what is acceptable. Well I know it makes me feel a bit urgh.
Well, it's really public on Facebook, isn't it? It's like he's going, "hey, work colleagues, potential employers, auntie Joan, Great uncle Bob, little sister Sally, look at the kind of woman I like to wank off to!"

Embarrassing. Inappropriate.

meltedgalaxy · 03/02/2021 07:50

I would break it off, I think that's weird that he's even showing you their profiles.

LolaSmiles · 03/02/2021 07:53

It's early days, when he should be on his best behaviour and trying to make a new romantic interest feel special. He is showing you photos of his ex and nude photos of women who look nothing like you.

At best he is a misogynist who seems to think that women exist for his viewing pleasure. At worst he is a creep who is already trying to make you jealous or feel insecure.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 03/02/2021 07:57

Put it like this, would it ever occur to you to show him pictures of naked men that you find attractive? To find a picture of a dick online and to show it to him as an example of the kind of penises that really turn you on? To make him sit through you scrolling through "hot guys on instagram" while you show him what kind of pecs you find attractive?

Or are you actually thinking: hang on, anyone who did that would be a bit of a twat, wouldn't they? Not nice or thoughtful?

ScrapThatThen · 03/02/2021 07:59

How do you think he would feel if you showed him naked pics of lots of men you have talked to online or exes? Does it still seem acceptable or is there a double standard going on here?

KarmaNoMore · 03/02/2021 08:01

Have you thought the reason he is not with any of these women whose bodies he seems to prefer were not interested in him because they had a better creep radar?

Love yourself a bit and let him go, this is just the beginning and it looks quite bad.

HighSpecWhistle · 03/02/2021 08:48

Red flag!

  1. why has he saved them all
  2. why is he showing you?
  3. is he 14? He needs to get a life.

I'd want them all deleted or it's over. I bet he's immature in other ways too.

Original poster
Whatisthis83 · 03/02/2021 08:48

I know I sound stupid but I honestly don’t think it’s too make me jealous or anything like that. He is not like that, I can get that from him. It seems more like he is showing me like he is showing his friends and not realising that I find it off putting. He is very naive and immature.

I don’t mind the naive because we all start somewhere but what I do get from it is the fact this is how he views women. I probably sound stupid but I’m not a stupid women and quite strong really. He has (I know it sounds mad) some really good points but this is not good at all. He’s grown up with cars and car mags with women draped over them. Its an aspect I don’t really agree with but it’s not the only thing about him, like I said he has some very good points.

I’m not sure if saying something would be a waste of time and it’s just part of his thinking that will won’t match on. I wonder why he is with me when I’m someone who is quite feminist and strong, have good job, own house etc etc. (So does he by the way) So have openly told him I don’t need a man to survive.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatisthis83 · 03/02/2021 08:51

He is younger then me by 7 years, no children or long term girlfriends really. I’m guessing that’s because of his immature attitude towards women. By the way he is 31

OP posts:
HighSpecWhistle · 03/02/2021 08:54

@Whatisthis83

I don’t think he is deliberately trying to make me jealous. Well I’m not jealous because I’m happy being me. I’m just unsure why he is showing me. I feel a little like he is settling when I’m not really his style of women. It really is putting me off tho as it’s sleazy.
See it this way. It's YOU who's settling. You know he's sleazy and immature about women, yet you're choosing to be with him?

It's so early in the relationship, I'd sack it off now. Don't waste more of your time.

sonnysunshine · 03/02/2021 08:56

He is insecure, immature and a misogynist. My FIL is similar and DH did everything to avoid being like him. Some people are fine with partners looking at porn. I'm not and not is DH as the industry is broken and allows such abuse.
He wants to undermine your confidence by making you think he has other options. And he thinks you will be impressed because he is a dick who values women as trophies.
Run away now you can do so much better.

Deathgrip · 03/02/2021 08:58

@Whatisthis83

I don’t think he is deliberately trying to make me jealous. Well I’m not jealous because I’m happy being me. I’m just unsure why he is showing me. I feel a little like he is settling when I’m not really his style of women. It really is putting me off tho as it’s sleazy.
Why do you think he’s doing it?

He’s negging you. Get far away from him.

Boopthesnoot1 · 03/02/2021 09:01

I feel a little like he is settling when I’m not really his style of women.

These are your words, this is to make you feel inferior to these women. When you feel inferior it will give him power over you in this relationship 'im lucky to have him cause he can have better'. Stop giving him excuses to act like a fuckwit, you're dating a 31 year old who knows better, no doubt about it, no excuse at 31. He isn't the one for you and best u get rid b4 your self esteem takes a dive.

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