Il a man - not sure if men are allowed to post here, but I’d like to get a woman’s perspective on this. We’ve in our late 40s and have been together for 25 years. Our sex life has always been very problematic because she’s never much liked it (other than that, we get on brilliantly). A few years into our relationship I stopped initiating sex because she’d reject me 9 out of 10 times, which was pretty humiliating. We got into a monthly cycle of me getting increasingly sexually frustrated, which reached a tipping point - her begrudgingly initiating sex with me was the least worst option compared with putting up with a grumpy bastard. But obligation sex is pretty degrading for both of us. (And wanking my way through the marriage feels pretty squalid too and very very lonely.) Anyway, now she’s said we won’t ever have sex again. Inevitable considering how things have always been, but I’m not sure I’m ready to contemplate half a lifetime of celibacy quite yet. My sex drive is fairly low, but the finality of this is pretty devastating. I can’t leave her - I love her and we’ve built a life, family and home together. But every time I climb into bed with the woman I love (and still find incredibly attractive, but, of course, who is strictly out of bounds) I die a little inside. She’s quick to point out that loads of people are in the same boat, but other people being unhappy doesn’t seem much consolation and I must accept that this is non-negotiable. Any tips for coping strategies?